Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

A Russian soldier ran up to a nun in downtown Moscow.

Out of breath he asked, "Sister, please may I hide under you skirt, I'll explain later." The nun agreed.

A moment later, two military policemen ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun, pointing, replied, "He went that way."

After the military police ran off, the solider crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister!"

"You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine."

The nun replied, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not being rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun smiled, "If you had looked a little higher, you'd have seen a great pair of b*lls too."

"I don't want to go to Ukraine either....."

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Toshiba Boy]

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Cavalol]

Then I saw her face, now I'm an ill beaver

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Andy in Germany]

View attachment 646485

That would make King Arthur's servant the first person to lose his job due to automation.

 

[Mr Celine]

 

[tyred]

 

[Domus]

An engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

 

[Dave7]

I am a big fan of Dusty Springfield. I had a large shelf full of her records and memorabilia.
someone broke in and stole the lot.
Now....I just don't know what to do with my shelf.

 

[Threevok]

View attachment 646574

Personally, I don't care either way, as long as it's not my round next

 

[Hover Fly]

An engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be

Most of the engineers I have known would mutter about “safety margins” and come back with a glass twice the volume

 

[Cavalol]

Really nervous for the Champions League final today, by far the biggest game Real Madrid have had since I started supporting them this morning.