Any good jokes ... ?

[oldfatfool]

How do you double the value of a Ferrari? Fill the tank with petrol.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Profpointy]

View attachment 634458

I do hope that's in Wimbledon

 

[Dayvo]

I do hope that's in Wimbledon

That’s a common assumption.

😉

 

[Profpointy]

That’s a common assumption.

😉

Badoom, tsh !

 

[Toshiba Boy]

I do hope that's in Wimbledon

Would be an .... advantage. New balls please.

 

[Cavalol]

Walking through the village I didn't expect to encounter a brass band, tombola, cake stall and a coconut shy.
But fête intervened.

 

[postman]

Leeds is holding an international sporting event.I saw a bloke with a very long thin case.I asked are you a pole vaulter.He said no i am German but how did i know his name was Walter.

 

[tyred]

 

[benb]

My wife really is an archeologist, or did it in university at any rate To be fair she really doesn't do that but I'm not sure I'm brave enough to share the joke

Don't be too harsh. It can't be easy being an archaeologist: your life's in ruins.

 

[Speicher]

 

[Dayvo]

Badoom, tsh !

Yeah, I know, a rubbish joke! 😉

 

[PaulB]

Whenever I'm bored and at a loose end, I ring up a Best Western hotel. They answer, "Best Western" to which I reply, "True Grit, starring John Wayne."

 

[Dayvo]

Whenever I'm bored and at a loose end, I ring up a Best Western hotel. They answer, "Best Western" to which I reply, "True Grit, starring John Wayne."

Years ago (early ‘80s) I had an office job 😳 (accts. dept) and I had to ring up cutomers chasing them for payment.
One company always got the same reply from me (good for Neil) after the lady who answered the phone simply said, ‘Neil’s Tool Works.’
Oh how she must have thought how hilarious I was.

 

[Profpointy]

Yeah, I know, a rubbish joke! 😉

Years ago (early ‘80s) I had an office job 😳 (accts. dept) and I had to ring up cutomers chasing them for payment.
One company always got the same reply from me (good for Neil) after the lady who answered the phone simply said, ‘Neil’s Tool Works.’
Oh how she must have thought how hilarious I was.

There's the story of a chap who strikes up a conversation with a stranger in a pub who introduces himself as John Wankbreak. Rather skeptical on the veracity of the ludicrous name they chat a bit more and the guy claims to work at the equally proposterously named "big ball, small ball, ball bearing works". Anyhow they go their separate ways and a few days later the guy is astonished to be passing a factory which, sure enough, has a big sign outside "big ball, small ball, ball bearing works". Now curious, he can't help himself and walks into reception and enquires if they have a Wankbreak working there. "wankbreak? We don't even get a f'ing tea break"