Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

People tell me I'm too indecisive but I'm not sure.

 

[newts]

Adjusted for spelling

 

[Dirk]

Walking back from the pub, through the churchyard, I noticed a spelling mistake on one of the headstones. I thought, well that’s a grave mistake.

 

[tyred]

 

[Chromatic]

View attachment 626513

Would have been even better if they had got formerly right.

 

[newts]

Would have been even better if they had got formerly right.

Indeed, formely formally Prince.

 

[craigwend]

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

[craigwend]

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came to see a therapist. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing..."

 

[sheddy]

 

[tyred]

 

[oldwheels]

 

[oldwheels]

Mod Edit:
For the original, please see here

 

[Chris S]

 

[morrisman]

Saying you 'popped in for 20 minutes but had no idea what was going on' is believable if you are an English batsman but less so if you are the Prime Minister