Any good jokes ... ?

[Oldhippy]

View attachment 601363

No one taking the p*ss there then!

 

[tyred]

 

[Dayvo]

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially since his name is Steve.

 

[tyred]

I asked the shop assistant for advice on choosing toilet roll and she told me that on the whole, they're all the same.

 

[Dayvo]

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

Just been offered a job at a local ice cream factory, but I turned it down.

I don't like working on sundaes.

 

[tyred]

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Dayvo]

 

[Cavalol]

 

[morrisman]

So today was very weird.... I was following an ambulance into town in when I noticed a small metal box sitting on the rear bumper. When the ambulance turned right the box flew off and landed on the side of the road against the kerb. Call me curious or just a Good Samaritan, I pulled over and retrieved it. When I opened the box there was a human toe packed in ice inside it. Unsure if the ambulance was going to our local hospital I called the hospital and explained what I had found. The lady on the other end of the phone said “Yes, the ambulance had just arrived minus the box”. I gave her my location and asked if they were going to send another ambulance to collect it? The lady replied “No, we’ll just send a toe truck.”