Any good jokes ... ?

[srj10]

My mate's band has a bunch of eastern European roadies. There's a Pole, a Lithuanian and a Czech one too.

 

[Dayvo]

View attachment 567369



(*Should that be '...are none of your business?')

Years ago, in a bar in Sydney, my mate asked the barmaid if she had any cocktails.
‘Yeah mate, heaps,’ was her answer.
Quick as a flash he said, ‘Can you tell us one, then?’

 

[srj10]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven till its bill withers.

 

[Cavalol]

 

[Venod]

 

[swee'pea99]

Years ago, in a bar in Sydney, my mate asked the barmaid if she had any cocktails.
‘Yeah mate, heaps,’ was her answer.
Quick as a flash he said, ‘Can you tell us one, then?’

(Probably apocryphal)

Tube passenger to Max Miller: Is this Cockfosters?
MM: The name's Miller, ma'am.

 

[morrisman]

 

[Dave7]

View attachment 567355

Double like for that one.

 

[postman]

A joke from the telly.Mum to dad.Get upstairs and have a word with your son.He is staining his bed sheets.Dad walks in to bedroom,look son it's normal and natural to be doing what you are doing.But your mum is upset,and you will go blind.Dad I'm over here.

 

[mistyoptic]

View attachment 519132

And back last May, we laughed at this...

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Lockdown seems to come round earlier each year...

 

[screenman]

Anyone else get a full house.

 

[tribanjules]

Anyone else get a full house.
View attachment 567407

Close to a line but not an exact match word for word

 

[Oldhippy]

Love bulls*It bingo it has kept me going through many a dull meeting.

 

[PaulB]

Toady is international spell-checker day.