Oh my, what have I just done?!

[summerdays]

Anyway, in an attempt to introduce myself, I sent him a picture of me in my Cycle Chat jersey, so if that doesn't scare him off then I should be ok!


I just hope they aren't a bunch of bike hating petrolheads!

Wouldn't it have been sending him the one in your avatar instead

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

OK not so sure on that - perhaps they are bits he is unsure about.

....... Either that or there are some incredibly old people in that family!

 

[classic33]

Those sites, books & software should all come with a warning that you may find out things that you'd rather not have found out. Be careful in what you seek.
I managed to trace both sides of the family tree back to the great county I was born in. Although one find did split the feeling in the family. A link to Oliver Cromwell.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Those sites, books & software should all come with a warning that you may find out things that you'd rather not have found out. Be careful in what you seek.
I managed to trace both sides of the family tree back to the great county I was born in. Although one find did split the feeling in the family. A link to Oliver Cromwell.

There are certain members of my family who would probably visibly froth at the mouth if they turned out to be Catholic.

Personally I couldn't give a s*it who they are as the past is the past.

 

[summerdays]

There are certain members of my family who would probably visibly froth at the mouth if they turned out to be Catholic.

Personally I couldn't give a s*it who they are as the past is the past.

My great grandfather/grandmother are protestant/catholic ... it's a pain in the backside as I can't find the marriage anywhere - so don't know where they went to get married. But in the baptism entry of their first child it says they are married, whereas the ones who weren't were very clearly identified in the register. So I assume they did actually marry but not in any of the local churches.

And that was one of the things my mum didn't like me asking anyone - when they got married .... just in case it was too close to the birth of their first child - whereas I don't care one bit - must have been hard back then to be born the wrong side of the sheets (as my Mum would say).

 

[coffeejo]

Been vaguely looking at my family history and at first glance, it seems as though I had blood relatives fighting on both sides of the First and Second World Wars.

 

[Arch]

Been vaguely looking at my family history and at first glance, it seems as though I had blood relatives fighting on both sides of the First and Second World Wars.

Based on Mum and Dad's surnames, I probably had relatives on opposing sides at Hastings!

 

[DCLane]

Anyway, in an attempt to introduce myself, I sent him a picture of me in my Cycle Chat jersey, so if that doesn't scare him off then I should be ok!

OK ... so do we have to check in case any new members introduce themselves as "I think I may be related to MDB. Is that good/bad/run away?"

 

[Night Train]

I have just got a reply from one of them, hooray!!
......
have just bombarded him with about 60 years worth of questions!

I hope it all gives you what you hope to find.

These guest rooms I have been killing myself over building for visiting relatives is also a bit of a family 'issue'.
It is for my half brother and his daughter.

My half brother and sister, from my Dad's first marriage, only ever communicated with my Dad, ignoring my mum, my brother, and me. Dad's ex wife blamed my Mum for taking him away from her and brought their kids up to despise us and ignore us. Since she died my half brother has got in touch and wants to get to know us (me and Mum since my brother has died). He has visited once before on his own. My half sister still ignores us and only calls to speak to 'Dad'. If my Mum answers the phone she just demands 'I want my Father!' and says no more to my Mum.

The stupid thing is, Dad divorced his first wife because she left him and took his kids and his money*. He then came to England, after a stint in the REME, to get a fresh start and met my Mum some years after. So not Mum's fault at all.

I am in two minds about my half brother. He emails, with family news and updates. I am not always prompt in my replies. I have little interest in him and even less in common.
He is very very religious (though not as much as my cousin who bothers God more then the Pope does) and that doesn't help as we have little frame of reference for day to day views on life. I can't talk to him, one to one, about anything that matters as his responses are very much of a 'It's God's will' sort of thing, but at least he doesn't present it so much when in company.
However, he knows that I have been very ill, and yet still phoned expecting me to get two rooms ready at short notice.
And I have to pick them up at the airport at silly o'clock in the morning.


Anyway, what I meant to say was that there may be reasons for the delayed replay and the guarded lack of information at this stage. I reckon my half brother and I and still have a lot of barriers to break down on both sides, but God may be helping him more then me on that one.

*This is the story Mum knows so may not be all of it.

 

[Arch]

However, he knows that I have been very ill, and yet still phoned expecting me to get two rooms ready at short notice.

To be scrupulously fair to him, did he realise the rooms needed so much work? He may just have assumed there were spare rooms ready. It would have been nice to be asked if it was ok, I agree. Or if God had leant a bit more of a hand with the plastering....

The upside is, you'll have a nice new office after they've gone, and I've been able to learn loads helping you, which I can put to use on our new bedroom. At least with that part of the family being so far away, you can decide how much to embrace them, without them turning up for tea unannounced whenever they fancy. And email is a nice flexible method of communication that you can reply to in your own time. My Dad's sister was a bit of a recluse, and hadn't got a phone at home, so she rang us a few times a year from a payphone, which we had to then phone back. She always managed to ring just before our evening meal, and we couldn't just say "call back later", so dinner had to wait while we all had slightly awkward conversations with her.

I think it's very rare that family breakups are completely open and understood by all involved. Everyone has their side to a story, which may be exactly how they see it truthfully, simply because the other side haven't said anything until it comes to a crunch. Even amicable breakups must usually involve some misery, or they wouldn't end as breakups. Tiny differences in opinion can become magnified by generations, people can take unwarranted offence on behalf of others, truth becomes mixed up with opinion.

As they say, at least you can choose your friends, although if you have friends who fall out, you're back in the same quagmire!

 

[classic33]

So, @Mad Doug Biker One year on.
How did things turn out?

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

They had a vague idea of our existence, but they also seemed distant, so I just left it for the moment.

I'll need to get back to them again with the proper family tree this time!