Your inanimate objects you love to hate and even 'assault'

[lazybloke]

Alexa being weird when i ask how long before a timer/alarm/reminder is due.


Lazybloke: "Alexa, set a 30 minute reminder, check the pie"
Alexa: "okay, setting a 30 minute reminder"
...
Lazybloke: "alexa, tell me about my reminders"
Alexa: "Lazybloke, there are no reminders scheduled. Do you want to hear about reminders for other people?"
Lazybloke: "Yes"
Alexa: "Lazybloke, here is your upcoming reminder, for Lazybloke, Check the Pie at 8:47"
Lazybloke: "<groan>"



There was a thud from upstairs on SAturday. Went to investigate, my son had throw his "Echo Dot/Alexa" on the floor. Probably for similar nonsense.

 

[Drago]

I once assaulted a dial gauge sat on a magnetic stand....
If been overlooked for a pay rise and in my mind, it was entirely unjust, simply based on an off the cuff comment I made 6 months earlier. I was furious.
So I strutted off to smoulder in a quiet corner, I'm not doing anything, ferk em. As I walked past a bench, the dial gauge popped out to me, I had a spanner in my hand and smacked it as i passed.
It fell to the floor and smashed..

Oh now I felt guilty..and a sense of 'serves them right' all at the same time.

I didnt do any work for the rest if the week...

I know a guy worked for BOAC in the 60's.

His manager had foxtrotted him off good and soo after had a series of accidents.

First they "forgot" he was in the aircraft while doing some kind of pressure test and gave him the bends.

Then someone whipped the stairs away as he was leaving another aircraft and he broke both legs.

Then someone simply chinned him and he finally got the message.

 

[grldtnr]

Oh yes! Me and my two brooms have a malfiecient relationship.
And I once beat the living daylights out of an electronic widget that I was issued for online banking, then kicked it around my gaff, lobbed up the garden , retrieved ,then despatched with a 14 lb club hammer i had to hand, it spewed its electronic guts after that , and surprisingly failed to work, but then that's why I launched an assult on it!

I was pleasantly pleased and relieved after I 'killed' it, I may have overeacted

 

[grldtnr]

Oh yes! Me and my two brooms have a malfiecient relationship.
And I once beat the living daylights out of an electronic widget that I was issued for online banking, then kicked it around my gaff, lobbed up the garden , retrieved ,then despatched with a 14 lb club hammer i had to hand, it spewed its electronic guts after that , and surprisingly failed to work, but then that's why I launched an assult on it!

I was pleasantly pleased and relieved after I 'killed' it, I may have overeacted

We , it seems are not alone !
Should we set up an' 'Unreasonable violence against inanimate objects club'
This thread might run, well untill someone blows a fuse and uses a shovel on it

 

[MontyVeda]

One could argue that i abuse my guitars when i try to play them.

 

[gbb]

Same place I smashed the dial guage, Joe a very very well built colleague was irked badly by something (can't remember what..this was 30 years ago) another colleague walked out of the plant room to find Joe furiously smashing a small stack of pallets to smithereens with a sledge hammer.

Best leave him to it ...ooer

Once he'd had enough, Joe looked up smiled and said...yeah, that feels better

 

[AndyRM]

View: https://youtu.be/5KOXs-UBOWM?si=z1b-1daN3NoLl9pW

 

[grldtnr]

Lightweight! He didn't go full send on the phone. I would perused my selection of dogging tools, I have a pickaxe with a lovely smooth Ash handle on it, that would have done very well, although bi thinks the desk might have suffered collateral damage.

 

[Reynard]

Maybe the engine start stuff would have helped @Mike Ayling , but I'm 4ft 11 and 8 and a half stone wet through, and just didn't quite have a big enough wing span to give the pull start the ooomph it needed...

 

[presta]

I get to the point of effin' and blindin', but not throwing things, I don't see the point, you only end up paying for the damage. I remember working on the bike in the garage once, and the weather was so hot my spex kept slipping off my sweaty face. When it got to the point where I was yelling so the neighbours heard, I went and made myself a Croakie out of a bit of old inner tube, then carried on with the job.

 

[DRM]

My “state of the art” Dyson pet vacuum.
Rubbish suction and staying power even on permanent charge.
Better with a pan and brush!
😬

We have one of those, it clogs within seconds of using it, we have spare filters, that get washed out, still clogs, took it to work and blew out top part where all the pipes curl round and down inside with a high pressure air line, the amount of dust that came out was phenomenal, it’s worked properly ever since, I’ll do it again when it starts playing up again

 

[Mike Ayling]

Maybe the engine start stuff would have helped @Mike Ayling , but I'm 4ft 11 and 8 and a half stone wet through, and just didn't quite have a big enough wing span to give the pull start the ooomph it needed...

Yes, my mower only fires right at the end of the pull start using the product so I see you would have difficulty. When hot it usually fires about a third through the pull.
Meanwhile my new brush cutter/strimmer is a Stihl and a great bit of kit.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Try this with authority in your voice

Lazybloke: "Alexa, set a 30 minute reminder, check the pie"

ALEXA, timer 30 minutes!

Lazybloke: "alexa, tell me about my reminders"

ALEXA, how long is left in my timer??

My Alexas are very obedient

 

[Reynard]

Yes, my mower only fires right at the end of the pull start using the product so I see you would have difficulty. When hot it usually fires about a third through the pull.
Meanwhile my new brush cutter/strimmer is a Stihl and a great bit of kit.

Stihl tools are the mutt's nuts.

 

[Drago]

Lightweight! He didn't go full send on the phone. I would perused my selection of dogging tools, I have a pickaxe with a lovely smooth Ash handle on it, that would have done very well, although bi thinks the desk might have suffered collateral damage.

You take a pickaxe handle when you go dogging? The women up your way mist be really scary!