Uncle Drago's agony column
- Thread starter Drago
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear Ted,
You could probably drink 10 pints of Castrol GTX and still be sober
That said, you might not want to drive far from the outhouse.
You could probably drink 10 pints of Castrol GTX and still be sober
That said, you might not want to drive far from the outhouse.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Dear Mr Drago
I seem to have a load of crap Trainers left on my hands and, at the moment they are sat on top of a load of old document boxes in one of my very large and tastefully blinged toilets.
I seem to be having a temporary cash flow problem, can you help (I could throw in a golf course or two if it would help).
Tango Man
I seem to have a load of crap Trainers left on my hands and, at the moment they are sat on top of a load of old document boxes in one of my very large and tastefully blinged toilets.
I seem to be having a temporary cash flow problem, can you help (I could throw in a golf course or two if it would help).
Tango Man
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear God,
No advice shall be forthcoming until you provide me with Stormy Daniels' phone number.
Dear Jennifer,
You think you got problems. I hurt myself today to see if I could feel.
But I've got the cocaine blues too!
And my Cadillac is made of odd bits and pieces that robbed from the factory over the years.
Last edited:
classic33
Leg End Member
Stormys' number is 01-253-581-2172.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear Sue...
Yellow Fang
Legendary Member
- Location
- Reading
I'd have thought the more salient question was how many drinks you'd need before scaling up one of those chimneys. I think I'd need about eight.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Dear Uncle Drago
Whilst nowadays I work down our chip shop, I'm all shook up.
Now, I'm normally one for a little less conversation, but the thing is Drags, I'm from a family of suspicious minds, and I need to be sure that you're not the devil in disguise.
So, talk to me Draggy boy, don't be cruel, and whatever you do, don't step on me Blue suede shoes.
By the way, do you want salt and vinegar?
Sivle the King
Whilst nowadays I work down our chip shop, I'm all shook up.
Now, I'm normally one for a little less conversation, but the thing is Drags, I'm from a family of suspicious minds, and I need to be sure that you're not the devil in disguise.
So, talk to me Draggy boy, don't be cruel, and whatever you do, don't step on me Blue suede shoes.
By the way, do you want salt and vinegar?
Sivle the King
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear Queenie,
I can only give you one for the money because I have a suspicious mind. You're lonesome tonight, so a short stay at heartbreak Hotel having a little less conversation and more time cleaning your blue suede shoes should soon give you a mountain. Come on man, it's now or never.
Regards,
Drago, uh huh.
I can only give you one for the money because I have a suspicious mind. You're lonesome tonight, so a short stay at heartbreak Hotel having a little less conversation and more time cleaning your blue suede shoes should soon give you a mountain. Come on man, it's now or never.
Regards,
Drago, uh huh.
Toshiba Boy
N+1er
- Location
- By the beach, West Zummerzet
Sorry Uncle Drago
Didn't catch all that, I was talking to the big white telephone in my blinged out bathroom.
Anyway, Draggy, are you lonesome tonight, come on, it's now or never.
....and I'll throw in a sausage in batter.
Queenie Elvis
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear Walrus,
Come on, you're not a living doll. Go and spend some time in the country with a devil woman.
Love,
Plastic Elvis.
Dear Drago,
I'm working the 9 to 5 shift but I don't feel the boss man respects me.
For my service and devotion, I think I deserve a fair promotion but I sometimes think the boss is out to get me. I never get credit, it's enough to drive me crazy. All I do is work to put money in my wallet.
But I've got dreams that he'll never take away. How do I make my dreams a reality?
Yours faithfully,
Ms. D. Parton.
I'm working the 9 to 5 shift but I don't feel the boss man respects me.
For my service and devotion, I think I deserve a fair promotion but I sometimes think the boss is out to get me. I never get credit, it's enough to drive me crazy. All I do is work to put money in my wallet.
But I've got dreams that he'll never take away. How do I make my dreams a reality?
Yours faithfully,
Ms. D. Parton.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dear Holly,
It's not fair, that Jolene getting the pay rise and you getting nothing. You're like an island in the stream, all the opportunities passing you by just because you're a woman.
It's not fair, that Jolene getting the pay rise and you getting nothing. You're like an island in the stream, all the opportunities passing you by just because you're a woman.
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