True Facts About Chris Rea

[Drago]

The undercarriage on a Boeing 747 is closely modelled on Chris Rea's undercarriage.

 

[PaulB]

Chris Rea began in the music industry as a reggae singing 'toaster' in the vein of his hero, U-Roy. As Rea's real first name is Uriah, he thought it only right to model himself on the great Jamaican 'toaster' and make records under the name U-Rea but was aghast to discover this was used to mock him and discredit his huge contributions to white English reggae music of the time.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea invented trance music. He got the idea when his mobile phone started ringing while in his jacket pocket as it went round in the washing machine.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is currently on BBC as the video ref for the Rugby League challenge Cup Quarter Final between arch enemies Hull F.C & Hull K.R, he has brought his cloaking device for himself and the Time Transit so he can get away without being spotted at full time

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was at Waterstones signing copies of his new autobiography, Have Beard, Will Travel, when in walked Richard Madelely.

Rea put his differences aside and dutifuly signed Madeley's copy, to my dear friend Talentless Tw@tface. Unfortunately, Madeley only noticed this when he tried to sell it on Ebay.

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0jznpepyn6o
Police are asking for information regarding a plastic lavatory that mysteriously appeared in a forest in Galloway, South West Scotland, then just as mysteriously disappeared in a shower of smoke, flames & sparks, taking a bearded occupant with it, many locals believe it was an alien visit, but some wild campers report hearing swearing, uttered in a "Northern English Accent"

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea began in the music industry as a reggae singing 'toaster' in the vein of his hero, U-Roy. As Rea's real first name is Uriah, he thought it only right to model himself on the great Jamaican 'toaster' and make records under the name U-Rea but was aghast to discover this was used to mock him and discredit his huge contributions to white English reggae music of the time.

Chris later made reference to his famous contortionist abilities by adopting the name U-bend.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea's beard is more absorbent than a Vileda Supermop.

 

[Drago]

It was a low pass from Chris Rea's TURDIS that parted the Red Sea and which allowed Moses to lead the Jews to the promised land.

Indeed, it is rumoured that the Chinese government have offered Rea a large sun of money to repeat the manoeuvre between mainland China and Taiwan.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea is believed to be fuming that Donald Trump has put tariffs on his penguins on the Heard & McDonald islands, it now means his favourite chocolate biscuits are 25% more to buy in the U.S, in retaliation he has put a 35% Tariff on every MacDonalds takeaway in the Teesside area, which will be used to rebuild the local Parmo Takeaway shop industry

 

[stephec]

Chris Rea swears that the go faster stripes on the side of the turdis really work.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Underneath Chris Rea's garden shed is the entrance to a network of tunnels and chambers extending across the whole of the North East.

 

[Homers Double]

Chris Rea has imposed a 974% tariff on all Spotify streams from China!

 

[DRM]

Underneath Chris Rea's garden shed is the entrance to a network of tunnels and chambers extending across the whole of the North East.

Rumour has it that's how he can access the Metro for free without getting caught

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea went back to London 1962, where he took members of The Tornados for a ride in the Turdis, & was able to show them the actual Telstar Satellite, he even linked the internal telephone in the Turdis to Telstar & called President Kennedy, telling him to stay away from Dallas, and Dealey Plaza, as they came into land The Tornados recorded the auberge field and used it as the sound effects on the single, sadly President Kennedy thought it was a white house Staffer pulling his leg & disregarded Chris Reas advice