True Facts About Chris Rea

[DRM]

Chris Rea's ongoing feud with Richard Madeley goes on apace, after finding out Richard Madeley has purchased a dairy farm, complete with a bottling plant, a herd of cows and a milk float, Chris Rea has been sneaking in at night to feed the cows garlic bread & rogan josh curry sauce in order to make the milk taste "funny" unfortunately the Garlic & Curry flavoured milk is selling in huge amounts, as a specialist dairy product, with a price premium too, Chris Rea can't believe Richard Madeley's luck, and having tried the milk, can't believe it's not butter either!

 

[Drago]

The source of the fued between Chris Rea and Richard Madeley goes back to 1992.

Rea had been at a house party to which Madeley was also invited. As Rea left the Auberge Drive of the TURDIS melted and deformed a Mars Bar that Madeley habitually carried in case he bumped into Marianne Faithfull and fancied his chances.

Madeley discovered the deformed treat and passed it off as his own, putting it into production and making millions from the confection.

Just to add insult to financial injury, Madeley decided to name the new sweetie after Rea's unruly beard, and thus the Curly Wurly was the source of a decades old feud that has cost millions of pounds and several lives.

 

[blackrat]

Am I the only one who hasn't a clue who this bloke is?

 

[craigwend]

Am I the only one who hasn't a clue who this bloke is?

Are you that person who... ' Sure plays a mean pinball..."

 

[craigwend]

In a bid to keep up with world economic trends, CR (c) has devised his own economic strategy...
ChrisReantilism is a nationalist economic policy that is designed to maximize the exports and minimize the imports of an economy. In other words, it seeks to maximize the accumulation of resources within the country and use those resources for one-sided trade.
The concept aims to reduce a possible current account deficit or reach a current account surplus, and it includes measures aimed at accumulating monetary reserves by a positive balance of trade, especially of finished goods. Historically, such policies may have contributed to war and motivated record sales.

 

[Drago]

The ongoing game of Truth or Dare between Chris Rea and Donald Trump has escalated alarmingly this week.

 

[blackrat]

Are you that person who... ' Sure plays a mean pinball..."

Is there the slightest chance you could use standard English?

 

[First Aspect]

Chris Rea and Chuck Norris became friends when they both attended the same evening calligraphy class.

Chris wanted to write beautiful music and Chuck had always wanted to write his own memes.

 

[DRM]

Chris Rea has been appearing via the Turdis, to Pete Hegseth's house, and after a slipping mickey finn's in all of Pete's booze, has been applying gang tattoos to him whilst he is utterly paralytic drunk, he plans to message Donald Trump & ICE to inform them that Pete Hegseth is a member of both Tren De Aragua & MS13 Gangs, with a view to getting him deported to an El Salvador jail complete with a free haircut, Chris Rea has also signed Pete Hegseth up as a lifetime member of Combat 18 as well, for good measure.

 

[PaulB]

Chris Rea rode a tank, held a general's rank when the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank, apparently.

 

[Drago]

Chris Rea was due to replace Dickie Davies presenting world of sport, but the plan was scuppered when Davies refused to hand over the moustache.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea was due to replace Dickie Davies presenting world of sport, but the plan was scuppered when Davies refused to hand over the moustache.

His attempts to get his hands on Frank Bough's cocaine-stained pullover were equally unsuccessful. Big Frank just whispered "don't even think about it"

 

[PaulB]

While we're on about Dickie Davies..well, you've got to, haven't you?
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCvs2w_Mjeg

 

[Drago]

David Icke didn't really go mad.

In reality he lost a bet with Chris Rea, who bet with Icke that he couldn't balance an anvil on his, ie, Icke's, left testicle.

The penalty was for the rest of his life to wear a purple shell suit and talk gibberish. Icke, a gentleman to the last, never welches on a bet and stoically sticks the the letter of the wager.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Chris Rea wears corduroy underwear