Large
Duty idiot
- Location
- Leighton Buzzard
Pick what you like out of this lot (as posted by me on a rugby message board quite recently:
People who don't say "please" or "thank you"
Rugby snobs
BMW drivers
Condescending radio presenters - as exemplified by those two clowns on Five Live Drive a
People who say "slow up" "different to" and "fill out a form" when they should say "slow down" "different from" and "fill in a form"
Audi drivers
People who say "less" when they mean "fewer"
George Osborne
The usual and regular misuse of "there" "their" and "they're"
The usual and regular misuse of "your" and "you're"
White cars (Except the Fiat 500 and Honda CRZ which happen to look good in that colour, all the others are plain naff)
ITV (except ITV4 when it shows rugby, cycling or The Sweeney)
Reality television
Twickenham Stadium
Security staff at regional airports
The inevitable mentioning by the BBC of the battle of Bannockburn prior to every Calcutta Cup match at Murrayfield
Simply Red
People who use the phrase "I'm not being funny...." No, you're not. You are, however, usually being incredibly rude.
Chancers who sit in first class compartments on trains knowing full well they don't have a ticket entitling them to do so
People on twitter who use the hashtag #(insert club name here) family: It's not a family, it's a sports club, you morons.
Retail staff who never look you in the eye and who never smile.
Nothampton Saints stewards
Teenagers. Hated them even when I was one myself.
Rugby club tours. I can save several hundred quid staying at home and drinking 'til I'm sick, thanks.
The tiny windows on Pendolino trains
The Harlequins stadium announcer
Snooty shoppers in Waitrose who look down their noses at you
Pizza Hut
The M25 in rush hour
7-a-side rugby
Radio stations who get me interested by saying they'll play something by Motorhead, only for it to be Ace of Spades. Again.
All request Friday on Radio 2 as it is really "Same requests as last week, Friday"
Kate bloody Thornton
The smell of cigarettes, particularly on peoples' clothes
Hangovers
People who pronounce "secretary" secker-terry
People who press the "close door" button in lifts before checking that anyone is following them in. I get this all the time at work from....
The hordes of contract IT programmers in the office who walk very slowly in packs and get in everybody's way
Bling
People who use the word bling
Pre-packed sandwiches that omit their ingredients from their packaging. Many a time I have bitten into one containing tomato/cucumber/mustard, all of which I despise, after they were not mentioned on the label.
Celery
Stupid, square-toed, tan loafers; especially when worn with chalk stripe business suits
Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of snooker on tv
Belts that don't match shoes
Meaningless words that try to make things sound better than they really are such as "gourmet" "designer" "luxury" e.g. I'll sit in the designer kitchen of my luxury studio apartment eating a gourmet strawberry yogurt
My car not having Bluetooth
Roadside shrines to people who have died nearby. There is a place for all those flowers and other peripheral stuff: it's called a cemetery. Controversial, maybe, but it really grates.
All the aforementioned peripheral stuff: soft toys, football shirts, Ikea lanterns. Ugh.
My thoracotomy scars
My sciatica
Grey change kits for rugby teams
Radio 1
Drivers who don't know how to use box junctions
Boxing - the "noble art" has become a joke
Golf and Tennis in the Olympics. We see them every week of the year and those who compete really don't give a crap. Showcase some other sports and give them the exposure they deserve.
Drivers who pay extra for convertibles and leave the hood up on warm, sunny days
The pasty tax
Mushrooms
People who won't fork out a tenner a month for ESPN but will, without hesitation, spend money on the three pints a month they need to sacrifice to cover the cost
People who can't spell the names of their own sports clubs' players
The words "sachet" and "garnish"
Queuing to get into a pub
Hen parties
Thick people
Chavs
People who shove pushchairs into the road to stop traffic
The cheap ballpoint pens in the work stationery cupboard that don't write on the standard-issue notepads
Restaurants who put the top half of your burger bun or sandwich on the plate, taking up most of the room that should be occupied by the chips and onion rings
Anyone who thinks it's compulsory to drink real ale at a rugby match
The concept of a Harlequins change shirt
Manchester
Taffs who are militantly Welsh, but can't speak a word of the language
Shops and bars who refuse to accept £50 notes
Ray Winstone
Ryanair
Orvis stopping selling Rhinohide trousers
Blokes in leather trousers
3 for 2 offers when there are only two left on the shelf
People who take one can from a four pack whose contents cannot be sold separately. What do they do with them?
Running out of milk
Forgetting to take my medicines
Instant coffee
Anyone who has a track suit "for best"
Renewing marriage vows
Americans wearing evening wear to weddings when they should be in morning dress
Unfathomable instruction manuals
Sports commentators who rattle off stats for 90 minutes when they should be describing the match. ITV Football is the worst for this
Ladies who look surprised at cash desks when they are asked for payment and who then take ages to get their card/cash out of their purse. It's not as if it has come as a surprise, girls!
Those folks on aircraft who get up as soon as the fasten seat-belt sign is switched off in order to alight, when the cabin doors are not open for another 10 minutes and they just stand there, looking the eejits they really are.
People in supermarkets who let their kids eat food before they pay for it
The width restriction where I park my car that has damaged both sills and three wheels
Blunt razor blades
Axl Rose
Fishing. Why?
Wimbledon fortnight
Rock-hard pears
That horrible feeling you get when you first put wet hands under the hot air hand dryer
Depression
When, no matter how many times you shake your lad after you've taken a P, you still get damp pants
Blisters
Biting into a green sweet thinking it's lime flavour, only for it to be apple
Wondering why some fools pay money to watch snooker
Missing the last train home
Having an itch in a place you can't quite reach
Sneezing fits
Bar staff who need a calculator to add up the price of two pints
People who demand respect without earning it or even knowing the meaning of the word
Scrum halves who take a quick tap, knowing that it has been awarded to the other side, to prevent the opposition gaining any advantage. Give them all yellow cards.
Those who choose to spend their money on drugs and tattoos instead of dentistry and hygiene. Or their own kids.
Following through
Message board posters who call rugby grounds "soulless" without being able to explain what "soul" actually means
Being the last person in a long queue which nobody else joins until you've had your turn
Finding out the Beastie Boys are white, middle-class, four feet tall and skinny
Shows and films that went on for too many series or sequels; think Bread, Only Fools and Horses, Terminator, Police Academy. Actually, Police Academy never should have seen the light of day.
People who refuse to believe Elvis is dead
Socks worn with sandals
Motorway middle lane hoggers
Wasabi
Bacon that is two-thirds water
Gardening
Speed cameras
The Severn Bridge toll not accepting cards
How unbelievably rubbish is Metallica's "Death Magnetic"
They way Mrs L points at me when watching Family Guy, every time Peter does something stupid; as if to say "that's you, that is"
On You've Been Framed, those people whose dentures have fallen out putting them back in without cleaning or rinsing them
Aubergines
Camping
My bad right knee
When my binoculars go out of focus during my rugby commentaries
Sports coaches who claim they didn't see something their own player did, but who can describe in minute detail what an opposition player did
Athletes and journalists who think "medal" is a verb
The Bullingdon Club
Those who think the word "mushy" rhymes with "pushy"
Parents (plural) who struggle, or refuse to control their offspring in supermarkets when the obvious solution is for one of them to do the shopping, and the other to stay at home with the kids
Not being able to stop biting my fingernails
Weak tea
Flip flops
People without blue badges parking in designated parking bays for the disabled
Pasta salad. The biggest culinary con since....
Polenta
People who put an "e" between the "k" and "y" in Scotch Whisky.
Having to hang around the office until after 5 on a Friday waiting for one, last document to come in from a supplier
Having to remove my glasses to read the screen on my mobile phone
Turning grey
Lance Armstrong's deceit
Oxymoronic language like "fresh frozen" "virtually spotless"
You know, sports people, y'know, usually, y'know, footballers who, y'know, say "y'know" every y'know, third word y'know when being y'know interviewed
Service stations that have half a dozen pumps with the expensive "super" fuel which costs 7p a litre more than the standard, for which there are just two pumps
People who pay for Special Brew, Skol Super, Tennents Super and such like with folding money. Bloody show-offs.
Five Live's The Monday Night Club broadcast on a Wednesday
The Monday Night Club
Knowing my licence fee goes towards paying for the Monday Night club. I want a refund.
Smokers who light up instantly once they are out of a no-smoking zone. You don't see me opening a tinny every time I get out of the car or off the train.
Silly ring tones.
Old gits who didn't want declimalisation because it was "too complicated" when compared with old money
Those who quote maximum temperatures in Fahrenheit and minimum temperatures in Celsius, just for effect.
People who call "Celsius" "Centigrade"
The Range Rover Evoque - it's a 4WD petticoat
The people around Leighton Buzzard who take the trouble to put their dog's mess in a plastic bag, and then tie them to fences. Disgusting.
Voxpops with Welsh people on radio and TV. Their voices make me cringe.
Anything written by or starring Ricky Gervais.
People who think soap operas are real life
Paper plates at buffets that are so flimsy you need to use two just to support one mini sausage roll
Curry that has no heat to it
The BT ad campaign featuring those three students - aka the twats in the flat
Going to sea in anything smaller than the Isle of Wight
Ambulance chasers
Rip-off prices at motorway services
"Mickey Mouse" degree courses
Graduates of "Mickey Mouse" degree courses wondering why it's so hard for them to find a job
The over-use of the word "legend" in sport. It seems the qualification criterion for "legend" status is coming on once as a sub in a mid-week reserves fixture.
Weather forecasts that always start with telling everyone how the weather has been. As if we didn't know. Or care. Just tell us what it's going to do
Being over or under dressed at a function
"Smart casual" Just say "tie-less" instead
Hiatus hernias
Local sports hacks who just peddle the same line as the clubs on which they report, bordering on the sycophantic
Panic buying of any kind
The trendy fixed-wheel cycle brigade
The Sex Pistols' "God Save the Queen" not reaching number one due to a chart compilers' fix for Rod Stewart
British Middle-class sitcom clones - Bless this House; Terry and June; My Family; 2 point 4 Children (aaarrggh!)
News updates on the hour on network telly that talk about "celebrity" news and nothing else
The new Routemaster bus. Ugly, expensive, pointless.
A minute's Applause for dead people. It should be silence. The reason football brought it in was because some of idiot minority there can't keep quiet.
The use of mobile phones whilst driving
Clothes manufacturers who can't grasp the concept that fatties like me are not all 5ft tall and need trousers in lengths longer that a 29" leg
Vajazzle - who apart from your partner and closest friends (after half a dozen Lambrinis) will see it?
Lambrini
People who use joined-up writing fonts for their names on email signatures
Monopoly - has there ever been a game of Monopoly that has ended in a way other than by someone throwing the board and its contents across the room, or in a fight?
Breakfast News when Susanna Reid isn't on
People who think Welford Road (Leicester Tigers stadium) is the centre of the universe. It is not. Huddersfield is the centre of the universe.
Citroen ceasing production of the C6
Citroen not putting the DS9 into production as its replacement
People who think - very wrongly - that having clinical depression somehow removes your ability for rational thought
Real ale snobs who sneer if I want to drink lager
Carol Vorderman
TV commercials not having jingles any more. I can think of only Calgon that still has one
Payday loan companies who prey on the most vulnerable
Ambulance chasers who are the most vulnerable's only route to getting the money to pay off the aforementioned payday loan companies
Those who try to claim through the ambulance chasers and who put up my car insurance premiums as a result
Celtic Frost splitting up. I know it was in 2008, but I'm still miffed about it
Brian Coleman (Google him if you live outside London)
People who voted for Brian Coleman
Peter Allen on Five Live. Contrary, condescending old git.
Word 2007 and upwards - can't find any features I could locate easily on Word 2003 and before
Mitt Romney
Paul Ryan
Fox News
Soundalike sports commentators. Take out Alan Green, John Murray, Eddie Butler and Andrew Cotter and they all meld into one.
Endless debate about the England soccer captaincy. It's not that important.
Living 150 miles away form the Trans-Pennine pub crawl route
Having my Gore Tex jacket stolen
Punctures on my bike
Not being able to find a pub in Leighton Buzzard I could call my local. They're either full of kids and noise, or racist, Sun-reading white trash.
Stand-up comedy. I must be getting too old for it. I find even Al Murray - of whom I was a big fan - irritating nowadays.
People on Facebook who use the Causes app for xenophobia and religious intolerance; and who can neither spell nor punctuate!
The contestants on Only Connect. I love the show but the spods who compete are the last people in the world with whom I'd go for a pint
TV Quiz shows that take several minutes' air time over a single question.
The Rugby League World Cup - why not just let GB, Oz and NZ play one another twice and be done with it.
Not knowing any of the bands in Kerrang! magazine any more
Bering hired for one job and having another forced upon you
Having to use a BlackBerry for work. It's like going back to tin cans and string compared to my iPhone
Retail staff who call me "mate" instead of "sir"
and finally, the single most abhorrent misuse of English
people who say and use "should of" when it is "should have" or "should've"
People who don't say "please" or "thank you"
Rugby snobs
BMW drivers
Condescending radio presenters - as exemplified by those two clowns on Five Live Drive a
People who say "slow up" "different to" and "fill out a form" when they should say "slow down" "different from" and "fill in a form"
Audi drivers
People who say "less" when they mean "fewer"
George Osborne
The usual and regular misuse of "there" "their" and "they're"
The usual and regular misuse of "your" and "you're"
White cars (Except the Fiat 500 and Honda CRZ which happen to look good in that colour, all the others are plain naff)
ITV (except ITV4 when it shows rugby, cycling or The Sweeney)
Reality television
Twickenham Stadium
Security staff at regional airports
The inevitable mentioning by the BBC of the battle of Bannockburn prior to every Calcutta Cup match at Murrayfield
Simply Red
People who use the phrase "I'm not being funny...." No, you're not. You are, however, usually being incredibly rude.
Chancers who sit in first class compartments on trains knowing full well they don't have a ticket entitling them to do so
People on twitter who use the hashtag #(insert club name here) family: It's not a family, it's a sports club, you morons.
Retail staff who never look you in the eye and who never smile.
Nothampton Saints stewards
Teenagers. Hated them even when I was one myself.
Rugby club tours. I can save several hundred quid staying at home and drinking 'til I'm sick, thanks.
The tiny windows on Pendolino trains
The Harlequins stadium announcer
Snooty shoppers in Waitrose who look down their noses at you
Pizza Hut
The M25 in rush hour
7-a-side rugby
Radio stations who get me interested by saying they'll play something by Motorhead, only for it to be Ace of Spades. Again.
All request Friday on Radio 2 as it is really "Same requests as last week, Friday"
Kate bloody Thornton
The smell of cigarettes, particularly on peoples' clothes
Hangovers
People who pronounce "secretary" secker-terry
People who press the "close door" button in lifts before checking that anyone is following them in. I get this all the time at work from....
The hordes of contract IT programmers in the office who walk very slowly in packs and get in everybody's way
Bling
People who use the word bling
Pre-packed sandwiches that omit their ingredients from their packaging. Many a time I have bitten into one containing tomato/cucumber/mustard, all of which I despise, after they were not mentioned on the label.
Celery
Stupid, square-toed, tan loafers; especially when worn with chalk stripe business suits
Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of snooker on tv
Belts that don't match shoes
Meaningless words that try to make things sound better than they really are such as "gourmet" "designer" "luxury" e.g. I'll sit in the designer kitchen of my luxury studio apartment eating a gourmet strawberry yogurt
My car not having Bluetooth
Roadside shrines to people who have died nearby. There is a place for all those flowers and other peripheral stuff: it's called a cemetery. Controversial, maybe, but it really grates.
All the aforementioned peripheral stuff: soft toys, football shirts, Ikea lanterns. Ugh.
My thoracotomy scars
My sciatica
Grey change kits for rugby teams
Radio 1
Drivers who don't know how to use box junctions
Boxing - the "noble art" has become a joke
Golf and Tennis in the Olympics. We see them every week of the year and those who compete really don't give a crap. Showcase some other sports and give them the exposure they deserve.
Drivers who pay extra for convertibles and leave the hood up on warm, sunny days
The pasty tax
Mushrooms
People who won't fork out a tenner a month for ESPN but will, without hesitation, spend money on the three pints a month they need to sacrifice to cover the cost
People who can't spell the names of their own sports clubs' players
The words "sachet" and "garnish"
Queuing to get into a pub
Hen parties
Thick people
Chavs
People who shove pushchairs into the road to stop traffic
The cheap ballpoint pens in the work stationery cupboard that don't write on the standard-issue notepads
Restaurants who put the top half of your burger bun or sandwich on the plate, taking up most of the room that should be occupied by the chips and onion rings
Anyone who thinks it's compulsory to drink real ale at a rugby match
The concept of a Harlequins change shirt
Manchester
Taffs who are militantly Welsh, but can't speak a word of the language
Shops and bars who refuse to accept £50 notes
Ray Winstone
Ryanair
Orvis stopping selling Rhinohide trousers
Blokes in leather trousers
3 for 2 offers when there are only two left on the shelf
People who take one can from a four pack whose contents cannot be sold separately. What do they do with them?
Running out of milk
Forgetting to take my medicines
Instant coffee
Anyone who has a track suit "for best"
Renewing marriage vows
Americans wearing evening wear to weddings when they should be in morning dress
Unfathomable instruction manuals
Sports commentators who rattle off stats for 90 minutes when they should be describing the match. ITV Football is the worst for this
Ladies who look surprised at cash desks when they are asked for payment and who then take ages to get their card/cash out of their purse. It's not as if it has come as a surprise, girls!
Those folks on aircraft who get up as soon as the fasten seat-belt sign is switched off in order to alight, when the cabin doors are not open for another 10 minutes and they just stand there, looking the eejits they really are.
People in supermarkets who let their kids eat food before they pay for it
The width restriction where I park my car that has damaged both sills and three wheels
Blunt razor blades
Axl Rose
Fishing. Why?
Wimbledon fortnight
Rock-hard pears
That horrible feeling you get when you first put wet hands under the hot air hand dryer
Depression
When, no matter how many times you shake your lad after you've taken a P, you still get damp pants
Blisters
Biting into a green sweet thinking it's lime flavour, only for it to be apple
Wondering why some fools pay money to watch snooker
Missing the last train home
Having an itch in a place you can't quite reach
Sneezing fits
Bar staff who need a calculator to add up the price of two pints
People who demand respect without earning it or even knowing the meaning of the word
Scrum halves who take a quick tap, knowing that it has been awarded to the other side, to prevent the opposition gaining any advantage. Give them all yellow cards.
Those who choose to spend their money on drugs and tattoos instead of dentistry and hygiene. Or their own kids.
Following through
Message board posters who call rugby grounds "soulless" without being able to explain what "soul" actually means
Being the last person in a long queue which nobody else joins until you've had your turn
Finding out the Beastie Boys are white, middle-class, four feet tall and skinny
Shows and films that went on for too many series or sequels; think Bread, Only Fools and Horses, Terminator, Police Academy. Actually, Police Academy never should have seen the light of day.
People who refuse to believe Elvis is dead
Socks worn with sandals
Motorway middle lane hoggers
Wasabi
Bacon that is two-thirds water
Gardening
Speed cameras
The Severn Bridge toll not accepting cards
How unbelievably rubbish is Metallica's "Death Magnetic"
They way Mrs L points at me when watching Family Guy, every time Peter does something stupid; as if to say "that's you, that is"
On You've Been Framed, those people whose dentures have fallen out putting them back in without cleaning or rinsing them
Aubergines
Camping
My bad right knee
When my binoculars go out of focus during my rugby commentaries
Sports coaches who claim they didn't see something their own player did, but who can describe in minute detail what an opposition player did
Athletes and journalists who think "medal" is a verb
The Bullingdon Club
Those who think the word "mushy" rhymes with "pushy"
Parents (plural) who struggle, or refuse to control their offspring in supermarkets when the obvious solution is for one of them to do the shopping, and the other to stay at home with the kids
Not being able to stop biting my fingernails
Weak tea
Flip flops
People without blue badges parking in designated parking bays for the disabled
Pasta salad. The biggest culinary con since....
Polenta
People who put an "e" between the "k" and "y" in Scotch Whisky.
Having to hang around the office until after 5 on a Friday waiting for one, last document to come in from a supplier
Having to remove my glasses to read the screen on my mobile phone
Turning grey
Lance Armstrong's deceit
Oxymoronic language like "fresh frozen" "virtually spotless"
You know, sports people, y'know, usually, y'know, footballers who, y'know, say "y'know" every y'know, third word y'know when being y'know interviewed
Service stations that have half a dozen pumps with the expensive "super" fuel which costs 7p a litre more than the standard, for which there are just two pumps
People who pay for Special Brew, Skol Super, Tennents Super and such like with folding money. Bloody show-offs.
Five Live's The Monday Night Club broadcast on a Wednesday
The Monday Night Club
Knowing my licence fee goes towards paying for the Monday Night club. I want a refund.
Smokers who light up instantly once they are out of a no-smoking zone. You don't see me opening a tinny every time I get out of the car or off the train.
Silly ring tones.
Old gits who didn't want declimalisation because it was "too complicated" when compared with old money
Those who quote maximum temperatures in Fahrenheit and minimum temperatures in Celsius, just for effect.
People who call "Celsius" "Centigrade"
The Range Rover Evoque - it's a 4WD petticoat
The people around Leighton Buzzard who take the trouble to put their dog's mess in a plastic bag, and then tie them to fences. Disgusting.
Voxpops with Welsh people on radio and TV. Their voices make me cringe.
Anything written by or starring Ricky Gervais.
People who think soap operas are real life
Paper plates at buffets that are so flimsy you need to use two just to support one mini sausage roll
Curry that has no heat to it
The BT ad campaign featuring those three students - aka the twats in the flat
Going to sea in anything smaller than the Isle of Wight
Ambulance chasers
Rip-off prices at motorway services
"Mickey Mouse" degree courses
Graduates of "Mickey Mouse" degree courses wondering why it's so hard for them to find a job
The over-use of the word "legend" in sport. It seems the qualification criterion for "legend" status is coming on once as a sub in a mid-week reserves fixture.
Weather forecasts that always start with telling everyone how the weather has been. As if we didn't know. Or care. Just tell us what it's going to do
Being over or under dressed at a function
"Smart casual" Just say "tie-less" instead
Hiatus hernias
Local sports hacks who just peddle the same line as the clubs on which they report, bordering on the sycophantic
Panic buying of any kind
The trendy fixed-wheel cycle brigade
The Sex Pistols' "God Save the Queen" not reaching number one due to a chart compilers' fix for Rod Stewart
British Middle-class sitcom clones - Bless this House; Terry and June; My Family; 2 point 4 Children (aaarrggh!)
News updates on the hour on network telly that talk about "celebrity" news and nothing else
The new Routemaster bus. Ugly, expensive, pointless.
A minute's Applause for dead people. It should be silence. The reason football brought it in was because some of idiot minority there can't keep quiet.
The use of mobile phones whilst driving
Clothes manufacturers who can't grasp the concept that fatties like me are not all 5ft tall and need trousers in lengths longer that a 29" leg
Vajazzle - who apart from your partner and closest friends (after half a dozen Lambrinis) will see it?
Lambrini
People who use joined-up writing fonts for their names on email signatures
Monopoly - has there ever been a game of Monopoly that has ended in a way other than by someone throwing the board and its contents across the room, or in a fight?
Breakfast News when Susanna Reid isn't on
People who think Welford Road (Leicester Tigers stadium) is the centre of the universe. It is not. Huddersfield is the centre of the universe.
Citroen ceasing production of the C6
Citroen not putting the DS9 into production as its replacement
People who think - very wrongly - that having clinical depression somehow removes your ability for rational thought
Real ale snobs who sneer if I want to drink lager
Carol Vorderman
TV commercials not having jingles any more. I can think of only Calgon that still has one
Payday loan companies who prey on the most vulnerable
Ambulance chasers who are the most vulnerable's only route to getting the money to pay off the aforementioned payday loan companies
Those who try to claim through the ambulance chasers and who put up my car insurance premiums as a result
Celtic Frost splitting up. I know it was in 2008, but I'm still miffed about it
Brian Coleman (Google him if you live outside London)
People who voted for Brian Coleman
Peter Allen on Five Live. Contrary, condescending old git.
Word 2007 and upwards - can't find any features I could locate easily on Word 2003 and before
Mitt Romney
Paul Ryan
Fox News
Soundalike sports commentators. Take out Alan Green, John Murray, Eddie Butler and Andrew Cotter and they all meld into one.
Endless debate about the England soccer captaincy. It's not that important.
Living 150 miles away form the Trans-Pennine pub crawl route
Having my Gore Tex jacket stolen
Punctures on my bike
Not being able to find a pub in Leighton Buzzard I could call my local. They're either full of kids and noise, or racist, Sun-reading white trash.
Stand-up comedy. I must be getting too old for it. I find even Al Murray - of whom I was a big fan - irritating nowadays.
People on Facebook who use the Causes app for xenophobia and religious intolerance; and who can neither spell nor punctuate!
The contestants on Only Connect. I love the show but the spods who compete are the last people in the world with whom I'd go for a pint
TV Quiz shows that take several minutes' air time over a single question.
The Rugby League World Cup - why not just let GB, Oz and NZ play one another twice and be done with it.
Not knowing any of the bands in Kerrang! magazine any more
Bering hired for one job and having another forced upon you
Having to use a BlackBerry for work. It's like going back to tin cans and string compared to my iPhone
Retail staff who call me "mate" instead of "sir"
and finally, the single most abhorrent misuse of English
people who say and use "should of" when it is "should have" or "should've"
