You know, guys, I just trimetravelled to the end of the Tour 2013 and (since the title of this thread clearly warns for spoilers) I really wanted to tell you about the amazing outcome of this year's Tour...
GC:
1st place: Wiggins
Who would have thought that when Sky announced (the last day before the Tour-start) that Wiggo would participate that he would be able to accomplish the re-peat (was the knee injury just sand in everyone's eyes)? However, with the Sky-internal pressures being too much for Froome to handle, the positive test from Bertie and due to weather-conditions the cancelling of all mountains steeper than 12% Wiggo all of a sudden had a free track to the victory.
2nd place: Schleck
Who would have believed that Schleck was such a good actor... from the first mountain that they needed to climb Schleck was looking like the old Contador arch-enemy he used to be. If only, he would have been as good a descender as Wiggins, he would have won this year's Tour.
3rd place: De Gendt
After loosing close to 2 hours in the mountain stages nobody believed he could pull off the solo he started in the first kilometer of the last mountain stage. However with a performance that outshined his last year's Giro stage-win, the non-existing form he had shown this year and due to a peloton where no team seemed willing to take the lead of getting the difference down, he managed the incredible feat of taking enough time back to take the 3rd place.
KOM: Di Luca
Contesting his pre-Giro positive result in front of the court and changing to Astana, he managed to get starting rights for the Tour. Motivated to show his good form he attacked almost every stage and took enough point in the KOM ranking to win it in a landslide. Of course, the trial will take some years to get through, so KOM might still go the person who ended in second position.
Green jersey: Matt Goss
Since Greipel and Cavendish had split the points in the pure sprints and Sagan mysteriously had no form at all (people said it was his youth that finally showed), it was the unexpected Goss - who took points in both the medium mountain stages and the flat stages - to win the Green Jersey without actually winning a stage.