Sherwen (in stilted tones): "and this is the chateau de fromage, built in 1843 by the Comte of <mispronounced name> for his mistress and his illegitimate children. He later got his knob chopped off in a battle..."
Uncle Phil (completely too excitedly): "And it was near here that Lance Armstrong did something one year, I can't remember what it was but it was something. And there's some rider in a white top, I think it might be Mark Cavendish of Team Sky in his national champions colours...no, no, it's actually a field of sheep...anyway, Lance was some rider, eh?"