Time for action

[magnatom]

Oh yes good ideas crankarm, but before we start approaching anyone I think we need a basic idea of what we are going to do first.

So any comments on my suggestion. If you think it is rubbish feel free to say so, writing stories for short films is not my day job!

 

[magnatom]

What's happened? Are folk scared of insulting the great Magnatom!

Come on guys we won't get a video if we don't criticise ideas and generate new ones.

7 deaths in London this year so far. Probably a whole lot more outside, and one that I passed shortly after it happened in Glasgow.

There but for the grace of God....

 

[grhm]

Ok. I'm loath to critise your storyboard too much - as I'm not sure I can do any better. And its easy to critise but not so easy to be constructive. But...

It might be a bit too long - people lose interest/tune out if an ad is too long/boring. Maybe it's a good extended variant, but it might need a shorter/snappier variant.

However, I like that it could vaguely parallel that motorbike ad on the TV at the moment - you know the one where driver pulls out of T junction and motorcyclist smashes into the side with a tagline/slogan something like "How close has the bike got to be before you see it?".

The m/bike ad is short, sharp and to the point.

Maybe "How close has a lorry got to get before you decide not to undertake?" could be a slogan for a similar style ad.

 

[magnatom]

Criticism is good.

I agree that as it stands it is probably too long (although the moonwalking bear one is probably quite long. It was just a first stab, so if anyone has any ideas how it could be made punchier, or if we should be taking a different approach, speak up.

I suppose it could be made shorter, by just cutting to pictures of a bike etc under the lorry after we fade away from the POV view.

How about a punch line: Easy to miss, easy to hit...or something like that?

 

[CopperBrompton]

To maximise the number of people watching it, we need to get this to 30 seconds (there's a reason ads aren't generally longer than this, and it's not just cost).

The main problem with the suggested storyboard is that it starts from the truck driver's perspective, and we're mostly aiming this at cyclists.

I'd suggest:

2-sec video clip of cyclist on wide, empty road
Caption: Plenty of room

2-sec video clip of cyclist taking primary in left-hand filter lane, cars in straight-ahead lane to right
Caption: Plenty of room

2-second video clip of cyclist taking primary in straight-ahead lane, cars in left filter-lane to right
Caption: Plenty of room

Still photo of lorry at lights, wide gap to its left, cyclist heading for gap
Caption: Plenty of room?

2-sec video clip of cyclist cycling up the left of the lorry and stopping at the lights

In-cab shot of driver checking wing mirror and looking above the cyclist, no cyclist visible

In-cab shot of driver applying left-hand indicator

In-cab shot of driver pulling away and turning left

In-cab shot of wing mirror, showing lorry centimetres from railings, but still looking above the height of the cyclist

Freeze video

Cut to still of mangled bike beneath wheels
Cut to still of crushed helmet
Cut to still of other debris

Caption: Cyclists: Don't undertake large vehicles
Caption: Lorry drivers: Look again for cyclists

Video of sheet over body under lorry

Fade out

 

[magnatom]

Aha, someone who knows what they are talking about!

I like it. The only thing I would add to that, would be just before we freeze the video, it would be good to have an indication of a little 'bump' within the cab. This would illustrate how little impact the cyclist has on the HGV and provide a reference to the moment the cyclist is killed.

Of course I'm no expert....

 

[Jake]

so Mag' is project manager. We have one day to do this task before the meeting in the boardroom. I suggest someone dances in their pants! sorry could not resist. It is hard to organise on here. Would be so much easier if everyone was in town and could sit around a table brainstorming ideas of hard hiting short and punchy captions, then get to work on a storyboard while other creatives work on the poster.

 

[magnatom]

so Mag' is project manager. We have one day to do this task before the meeting in the boardroom. I suggest someone dances in their pants! sorry could not resist. It is hard to organise on here. Would be so much easier if everyone was in town and could sit around a table brainstorming ideas of hard hiting short and punchy captions, then get to work on a storyboard while other creatives work on the poster.

Ha! I know my limitations. I'll certainly try and keep the wheels rolling. I'm good at ideas and motivation, not so good on details and follow through, although I am keen to see this to the end.

You are certainly right about it being a little more difficult to organise here, that's why I suggested maybe a separate little section in CC if that was possible to help keep it together but in different threads.

Mods would this be possible? It needn't be permanent.

 

[grhm]

I think Ben's idea is good.

Cut to still of mangled bike beneath wheels
Cut to still of crushed helmet
Cut to still of other debris

Not sure how best to do these shots - might be able to use actual shot like those on http://crapwalthamforest.blogspot.co...st-killed.html (shamelessly nicked from JtM's post in Left Turning Lorries - Write to your MP thread)

But we'd need to ensure we shock people into thought and just shock them with bad taste.

 

[scouserinlondon]

To maximise the number of people watching it, we need to get this to 30 seconds (there's a reason ads aren't generally longer than this, and it's not just cost).

The main problem with the suggested storyboard is that it starts from the truck driver's perspective, and we're mostly aiming this at cyclists.

I'd suggest:

2-sec video clip of cyclist on wide, empty road
Caption: Plenty of room

2-sec video clip of cyclist taking primary in left-hand filter lane, cars in straight-ahead lane to right
Caption: Plenty of room

2-second video clip of cyclist taking primary in straight-ahead lane, cars in left filter-lane to right
Caption: Plenty of room

Still photo of lorry at lights, wide gap to its left, cyclist heading for gap
Caption: Plenty of room?

2-sec video clip of cyclist cycling up the left of the lorry and stopping at the lights

In-cab shot of driver checking wing mirror and looking above the cyclist, no cyclist visible

In-cab shot of driver applying left-hand indicator

In-cab shot of driver pulling away and turning left

In-cab shot of wing mirror, showing lorry centimetres from railings, but still looking above the height of the cyclist

Freeze video

Cut to still of mangled bike beneath wheels
Cut to still of crushed helmet
Cut to still of other debris

Caption: Cyclists: Don't undertake large vehicles
Caption: Lorry drivers: Look again for cyclists

Video of sheet over body under lorry

Fade out

completely agree with this, 30 seconds max to get the viral element. we should also have a call to action at the end of the video.

That could be a simple 'share' button so people can post to youtube or tweet a link, or it could be a campaign image that people can turn into their profile picture etc.

 

[goo_mason]

completely agree with this, 30 seconds max to get the viral element. we should also have a call to action at the end of the video.

That could be a simple 'share' button so people can post to youtube or tweet a link, or it could be a campaign image that people can turn into their profile picture etc.

You could continue the 'Plenty of room' theme with the empty hole dug at a grave, or lots of empty & open doors on the body fridge in the mortuary, or something along those lines with 'Plenty of room' as the caption.

 

[Jake]

ooooo spooky and great idea. yes with the question/mark over the grave.

 

[CotterPin]

As I was grumbling elsewhere that we should do some campaigning, I am all for this and willing to help, although all I can do is offer an extra pair of hands.

I actually think there is some mileage in including Bigtwin's idea;

Then you'd be be better off standing at the side of the road and talking to people actually in the situation. That's bang for your buck.

Maybe if we have a launch date for the video we could have enough of us out in locations which we know are notorious for this issue, handing out flyers to cyclists and maybe with posters on lamp posts, etc approaching the area?

 

[ttcycle]

Hey

not had time to read through this properly as hectic at work

got some feedback re stickers on the back of buses from a guy who works closely with bus workers- basically if we go legitimately and contact TfL - for London buses anyway it would most likely be refused- the best port of call in that case is to have a blanket guerilla stick a thon on as many backs of buses as possible and this would only work if it covered a large number of buses (so practically would need large number of willing people to stick onto buses) as if there are too many stickers to remove they may keep them on there -plus at that point it would be more likely and realistic to get TfL backing.

Writing to MP - yes but there is also concerted action we can take aside from this.

I'm finding out costs of stickers dependent on sizing.

Questions to think about:

Target audience - cyclists (all types) and HGV drivers

What do you want to achieve apart from the blindingly obvious of less/no deaths - ie mirrors fitted on all HGV's that show the blind spot, better provision for road design..we need to think about this so that it is more focused; we know what pressure we need to put and in what direction and to what outcome. Once we know what we're working towards we can then plan backwards with solid goals and plans

Plus, in relation to stickers - this is fine for one element of a campaign but it needs some interaction with people - you know the human touch. As for a person to front the campaign - doesn't seem necessary at this stage =- we're not looking for celebrity 5 minutes of fame but to raise awareness and put pressure in the big picture to create change.

Anyway better get back to work!

 

[scouserinlondon]

As well as the editor of a trucking magazine a mate of mine is a PR for TFL, busses specifically, I can have a word.

I'm well connected me