Three bits of tarmac walk into a pub...

[JamesAC]

A girl goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So he gives her one.

 

[TVC]

A piece of string walks in to a bar.
"Are you a piece of string?" asks the barman "We don't serve string in here"
"No" replies the sting " I'm a frayed knot"

 

[User482]

A man walks into a bar.

Ouch.

 

[Fnaar]

It's also the punchline to #12.

I'm on the ball, me!

 

[philipbh]

A <insert animal of choice*> walks in to a bar and says <insert phrase of choice>

Barman says "Oh look! a talking ...."

* except a horse - in which case its at least Four Faults (copyright David Vine) - IGMJ

 

[Archie_tect]

Horse walks into a bar, the barman asks, "Why the long face?"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a pint, to which the barman says

'I don't think we have ever had a talking horse in here before, and you name is on that bottle'

gesturing to a bottle of White Horse Whisky.

to which the horse says

'Wha? Shuggy?'




I'll get me coat.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Shakespeare walks into a bar, the barman says "you're bard"

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

A bunch of Penguins walk in a bar and the barman asks them

'Do you need help ppppppp picking up your pints up?'

 

[Fnaar]

A[font="'Trebuchet MS"] cyclist walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve cyclists in this bar" The cyclist says:
But I came on a long Trek to get here.[/font]
[font="'Trebuchet MS"][/font][font="'Trebuchet MS"]
[/font]
[font="'Trebuchet MS"][/font]
[font="'Trebuchet MS"]A pony walks into a bar and whispers to the bartender, “Can I have a beer?” The bartender replies, “Sure, but why are you whispering?” The pony answers, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little hoarse.”[/font]
[font="'Trebuchet MS"]
[/font]
[font="'Trebuchet MS"]A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.[/font]

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Man walks into a bar and tells the landlord he looks like a sheep so he baahd him.

 

[Red Light]

A mushroom walks into a bar and orders drinks all round. A girl at the bar turns to her friend and says ......... "He looks like a fungi to be with"

Ba doom ching! I thank you, I thank you.

 

[Archie_tect]

A man walked into a Glasgow bar as a woman was leaving, and ordered a pint instead of his usual. The barman asked if he wanted a Chaser but he couldn't be bothered.

 

[Fnaar]

Joke formula:
A does B
X responds with Y
Z is the result

 

[subaqua]

Joke formula:
A does B
X responds with Y
Z is the result

nah.