Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Nigel-YZ1]

You've tried four computers.
You've tried two domain accounts.
We've had the software authors stand over your shoulder.
The software is slow and won't get better - they won't change it as long as people are paying thousands for it.
If you press buttons twice it crashes.

Stop whining, Stop pressing buttons twice, Stop talking to me like shoot.

 

[Lullabelle]

A simple yes or no would suffice, why do you have to keep going over the same thing time and again, a 10 minute lecture wastes my time which is already in short supply, just answer with 1 word.

 

[alicat]

Please don't volunteer me to be your neighbour's computer expert - I don't have time to be theirs as well as yours and it makes me look bad when his breaks in the middle of me working out why the monitor is mute.

 

[TheDoctor]

I'm not coming in. Ever, ever again.
I'm going to cycle round the world instead.
(but I can't say that or I'd starve...)

 

[TVC]

Here, you sort out all this crap, I really don't want to know any more.

 

[i hate hills]

Your arse is big in that dear.....

 

[king dick]

Yep you do look like your mother.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Yes, I accidentally cut down your beloved Berberis yesterday, and what's more, I don't really care, it was overgrown and like a small tree anyway!

 

[Hill Wimp]

Yes you are fat and can't fit into just one seat on this train. You need to do some exercise so you bum can squeeze in between the arm rests and you can pull down the table in front of you for your cup of tea rather than to put your stomach on it.

 

[Speicher]

You are a complete nincompoop. How am I supposed to sort out this mess now????????

Sort it out yourself next week!

 

[colly]

You've tried four computers.
You've tried two domain accounts.
We've had the software authors stand over your shoulder.
The software is slow and won't get better - they won't change it as long as people are paying thousands for it.
If you press buttons twice it crashes.

Stop whining, Stop pressing buttons twice, Stop talking to me like s***.

Time you left mate ! Tell him to shove it and get a job where you like working.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'm sure it is a kind of style, but your hair looks like some sort of hat, and not in a good way!

 

[Hill Wimp]

If you get any closer to that cyclist patiently waiting at the red light like the rest of us in our cars you will kiss his a**e.
Oh look you t**t mystic meg here behind you was right.

 

[matthat]

Up yours H""""y's Blinds we won!! Two fingers!!!

 

[fimm]

You appear to have taken the time to add a lot of individuals to the email you just sent out, rather than using the group. So, given that the email was about an item of lost property found in the Ladies toilets, why did you include all the men?