Things you'd like to say, but can't

[NorthernDave]

So you didn't feel obliged to reply to our enquiry and when we called in, twenty minutes after your published opening time, you were 'closed' despite all the lights being on and staff clearly being present (and apparently not doing much from what we could see through the window).

We've now booked your competitors up the road who were not only open but were very happy to chat about our requirements. I'm sure they'll enjoy taking our money.

 

[steven1988]

Listen you absolutely moronic idiot as I've already told 3 of your colleagues it is impossible for the account holder to cancel her own account as she has passed away. What is so hard to understand about that. Grrrrrr

 

[ColinJ]

Listen you absolutely moronic idiot as I've already told 3 of your colleagues it is impossible for the account holder to cancel her own account as she has passed away. What is so hard to understand about that. Grrrrrr

Sorry to hear that, Steven. It really IS incredible that these idiots exist, but my sister had exactly the same problem trying to close our late mother's account!

 

[steven1988]

Sorry to hear that, Steven. It really IS incredible that these idiots exist, but my sister had exactly the same problem trying to close our late mother's account!

I think my issue was I was getting a call centre in a far away land somewhere. Guessing they struggled with "passed away".

I genuinely never thought I'd be happy to hear a Scottish accent on a phone ever (no disrespect to any of our north of the border friends)

 

[ColinJ]

I think my issue was I was getting a call centre in a far away land somewhere. Guessing they struggled with "passed away".

I genuinely never thought I'd be happy to hear a Scottish accent on a phone ever (no disrespect to any of our north of the border friends)

Our call centre worker was UK-based so she didn't even have that excuse. It seemed obvious that the fool in question was probably busy on Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat/(Whatever) while reciting the official script but not engaging her very-distracted mind.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I'd like to say "Woohoo f-you PPG. I was the top salesman at my company before I joined you and now I'm the top salesman at the company I joined after 18 months of misery with you"

 

[Speicher]

I do not need to consult the contract that I have with my telecommunications provider. It is obviously substantially different to the contract you have. I am under no obligation whatsoever to answer my telephone when it rings. The ring tone, as I hear it, is an invitation to answer the phone when it is convenient for me to do so. It is not a command that I immediately answer it.

In case you do not understand that concept, there is a sophisticated electronic device called an Answering Machine. You may have heard of them, as they have been around for two decades or so. The technique is very simple. You are an expert in the skills required. Just talk to the machine as if you were talking to someone, and do not allow them to reply.

 

[ColinJ]

Dear YouTube advertiser ...

I don't like being obliged to watch unskippable ads before I get to watch YT videos, but it does mean that the video creator makes some money so I will put up with it as long as you don't take the p*ss. Having said that, did you really think that I would watch a 14.5 minute advert in order to be allowed to see a 12 minute video? SERIOUSLY!!!

Dear YouTube advertiser ... I apologise for saying that your ads are unskippable. It is actually the fault of the YouTube app that I was using! (I still think that a 14.5 minute ad is WAY too long to expect people to stick around and watch though.)

Dear Humax Freesat box developer ... Your damn YouTube app does not display the 'Skip Ad' button, which is a big problem now that advertisers are dumping mega-long ads on us (see above). Oh, and while you are fixing that ... The edges of HD videos are missing on my HD TV. I'm not sure whether the app is clipping them off, or rescaling the video for some reason and pushing them off the screen.

Dear Samsung smart TV developer ... Thank you for creating a YouTube app that DOES show the 'Skip Ad' button, and which correctly displays HD videos on my HD screen. The other thing I would like you to do is to make it possible to see the information posted below each video so I can click on links referred to in videos, oh, and also the ones that pop up now and then in overlays at the end of videos.

Dear Intel team - if you are going to bombard me with Intel news ads telling me about how wonderful your processors are, and how you supply the most amazing development software, how about including at least a passing reference to the Meltdown and Spectre processor vulnerabilities!

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

I understand that you're not getting off at this stop, but an awful lot of people are, and there's only a handful of people on the platform preparing to get on the train. Why don't you step off the train, let people alight, then get back on again instead of standing in the middle of the doors and making people shuffle around you?

 

[subaqua]

Stop being a professional victim and get off your high horse you sour faced permanently offended snowflake .

 

[roadrash]

feck off ....and stay fecked off .......permanantly

 

[Speicher]

That's that then isn't it. A foregone conclusion.

 

[Lullabelle]

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Dear CCTV industry. Your products are too insular, your software is shoot. Thankyou.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Dear Microsoft. Why have I got to the point where, when something doesn't work right, I automatically assume that it will be ok on Windows 7?
Is this some sort of trust issue based on experience of you new all singing and dancing OS? Quite frankly I don't care if you bring our a version that can fart the Star Spangled Banner, as long as it can run the software that has no problems whatsoever on Windows 7. It was supposed to be an improvement, right?