Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Aperitif]

It is so bloody simple woman.... 1 cloth.. 1 shower screen = wipe shower screen after shower.. simple, sooooo bloody simple...and while the cloth is wet, just wipe it over the frame of my Roubaix- make sure there are no threads drifting toward the chain, or other mechanism, and don't get oil on my seat - the blue picks it up so badly.

Fixed! Water Matthau was one of my screen favourites...

 

[ianrauk]

it's not repulsive, it just looks ridiculous and daft, people walking, no.. waddling along with the crotch of their trousers around their knees with their undercrackers showing.Just pull yer trousers up. PMSL.

Why is the fabric of boxer shorts so much more repulsive than other items of clothing? You can't see the actual arse so what's the problem? I don't particularly like seeing fat peoples bellies or ugly peoples faces, but I don't complain

(joke)

 

[gbb]

I actually excercised this right a few weeks ago at work...
Busy busy busy....getting stressed, one of the guys (a bit of a 'Tim, nice but dim') came in and started aimless uninteresting banter which i just couldnt be ar$ed with...i told him....
'Wayne (that says it all)...if you hav'nt got anything interesting to say...f*ck off. i'm busy'

'i'll go then........', and he went. RESULT !!!!

 

[darkstar]

it's not repulsive, it just looks ridiculous and daft, people walking, no.. waddling along with the crotch of their trousers around their knees with their undercrackers showing.Just pull yer trousers up. PMSL.

Crotch is rarely around the knees, I think there are varying degrees of this style though.

 

[ianrauk]

lol I know. It's a kiddie thing which us adult's just don't understand.

Crotch is rarely around the knees, I think there are varying degrees of this style though.

 

[MacB]

if you have to cackle really loudly during a comdey don't you dare ask me what the bits you cackled over were.

 

[Hover Fly]

You great fat pudding stealer. You will not be reporting me to my employer, you will be reporting me to my wife, I am not the gardener. I was stood rock still and you still managed to walk into me, if you managed to get your phone out of your field of view (by the way I saw what was on the screen, it looked suspiciously like a game) you would have seen me, so why should I apologise? And what makes you think that withdrawing your reviews will make the slightest bit of difference to anyone, except you? We all know you're a prime BS-er anyway.
Incidentally, do you want to know why people round here call you Donald? It's because you have a voice like a talking duck.

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

It's unfortunate that we are 4 to a room and in bunks. Bearing that in mind, please wait until I'm sleeping - better still out - before you knock one out.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

If I am in a conversation with you, would you please listen. You can guarantee I will be listening when you speak.

Do not interrupt me, when I am only half way into a sentence.

OH YES!!

When I am speaking to you, don't turn round and start speaking to someone else and totally ignore me as though I have stopped talking.

I know I have hearing problems and you might not quite understand me at times, BUT JUST SAY! I WON'T BE OFFENDED!!

I'd rather KNOW than suddenly being ignored! I mean, here I am, talking to you, and you turn round and speak to someone else instead, WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM DOING EXACTLY??


Ok, thankfully it doesn't happen too often, but it HAS in the past (and as a point, I never spoke to someone else who did it to me ever again after that - I can be just as rude back).

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

lol I know. It's a kiddie thing which us adult's just don't understand.

Teenage thing surly??

If it was a kiddie thing, then the readers of the Daily Mail would have started a campaign to arrest any adult who just happens to look at them as being some sort of peado.

Everyone who isn't blind would be on a big prison boat off the coast of Cornwall by now!
You, me, EVERYONE!!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Look you track-suited, mono-browed little runt, if you really DO have to spit that often you need to see a doctor.

Yes I was on a bus recently and a ned (Chav to you Southernites) sat near to me, and proceeded to spit about every 30 seconds throughout the journey.

I really wish I HAD said something just as I got off at my stop.
I am surprised he wasn't sitting in a pool of the stuff.


Another one that really DOES p**s me off are people on the train who put heir feet on the seats.

I'm sorry, why would I want to sit on a seat after you have had your dogsh*t covered shoes on it??

I mean, do you have some sort of medical problem that means you have to suspend your legs like that? I mean SERIOUSLY??!!

Do you treat the furniture in your house like that??

 

[XmisterIS]

To my beloved who insists on talking to me, and generally being happy every morning, even though she knows I am not a morning person - PLEASE SHUT UP.

XmrsIS has to get up at 7.30 for work every day and she is definitely not a morning person! I am one of those people who can bounce out of bed in the morning and is wide awake within 5 minutes.

The other morning I woke up and glanced at the bedside clock, so I nudged XmrsIS and said, "It's 7:38! You'll be late for work!". So she began to drag herself out of bed. Then I looked back at the clock, "Ah! No. My mistake! It's 6.38. You can go back to sleep now". Of course, she couldn't, although I turned over and went straight back to sleep for another refreshing 52 minutes and bounced out of bed at 7.30 feeling well-slept, refreshed and full of energy. I think she wanted to kill me that day!

 

[gbb]

FFS Mum you dont need to slam the car door like your life depends on it

I cringe every time she gets in the car. Bless her, i've told asked her so many times but it just doesnt make any difference.

 

[hackbike 666]

I just wish my neighbours would get a job.Perhaps some of them wouldn't drink so much or make so much noise/noise at 3am jut before I get up for work.They must know what shifts I do.

 

[Maizie]

Mother;

Stop wondering out loud about how nasty you think your soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law will be to your son (my brother), and whether she will let him have access to the kids, etc. Not only have I spent time with both of them (together) and am convinced that it is all fairly amicable; but perhaps you should consider that not every woman turns in to a vindictive b!tch in a separation who turns the kids against their father.

Oh, and while I'm at it, how do you not notice when your daughter (me) at the age of 17 weighs under 7 stone and falling? Why, when the school phones you up to express some concern about my weight and happiness, is the Big Deal not that I'm slowly and elegantly killing myself (because you're delighted that you have to take in my size 8 clothing, size 6s not being readily available in the early 90s), but 'what on earth must the school think, having to phone me up about my own child, it must look dreadful to them'?

Oh yeah, and how do you not notice 12 neat parallel cuts down each forearm of your 20 year old daughter (me again, a bit later on)?

Ooops, I may have some issues there

(She does keep banging on about my brother's situation though.)