Things you'd like to say, but can't

[perplexed]

Reckon that you should say that, or at least not do that person's job and let them flounder. I might just be a cow though.

Aye, but sadly its one of those situations where they don't directly work for the same 'firm' as me, but as a 'partnership' organisation. The problem being that they've got a way, way bigger stick than me, and in any dispute the fact that I'm right simply won't come into it.

 

[classic33]

Message left for me to call a member of staff, having been forewarned that he's been signed off for a fortnight by his doctor 'due to work-related stress'. I suspect that this 'stress' was brought on by the introduction of our new workflow monitoring system which showed that he does barely a third of the amount of our most able person, and less than half of the average.

"XXXX, you suggesting that you're overworked is the funniest thing I've heard for years!! You are the laziest fecker I've ever met, the only parts of you that words hard are your vocal chords with your insidious whining about reasons why you can't work due to your health conditions. Has the penny not dropped that the only reason that you have knee, ankle and back problems is that your BMI is in the low 120s, and you're so short and round that if you tripped up you'd roll for miles? And by the way, your weight is not a genetic condition, you eat at least 2 chocolate bars and 2 packets of crisps every day, and that’s before you go to the pub at lunch for your pie and chips!! You wouldn’t know exercise, a piece of fruit or a green vegetable if it kicked you in your arse!! And speaking of your arse, it causes a solar eclipse every time you pass the floor to ceiling windows at the front of the office. Feck off and never darken our door again"

Having been told by our HR Manager what I could say, I actually said:

"Sorry to hear that you're unwell. I hope you feel better soon and once you're recovered please let me know if there's any reasonable adjustments that we can make to help you at work"

GRRRRRRRRRR. Now my blood pressure's stratospheric!

I'd go with the first version.

 

[pplpilot]

Please don't turn up at my house quoting for work and giving me sob stories about how there's no money in the building trade, I was upstairs and saw you get out the best part of a hundred grand car you parked about 10 doors down and I too like fine watches and i'd wager you didn't get much change from eight grand for the IWC you are sporting on your wrist. By all means send in your quote and ill promptly file it in the bin.

 

[TVC]

You know when you go in to a pub and there is a group of people sat around a table talking and getting on with each other. You don't just grab a chair, push your way in, then start talking over them and saying inappropriate things.
So why do you think you can do it on the internet?

 

[kevin_cambs_uk]

I have just won millions of pounds on the lottery

 

[classic33]

You know when you go in to a pub and there is a group of people sat around a table talking and getting on with each other. You don't just grab a chair, push your way in, then start talking over them and saying inappropriate things.
So why do you think you can do it on the internet?

Why do people think that anonimity allows them to slag others off?
Especially when it comes to service reviews.

 

[gbb]

Id like to say..
'F#@k off, we are NOT working every other weekend..no discussion'
BUT....the reality is, cover IS needed and it will only be for a month hopefully. We take the money and have a good job where we're left alone, have steady hours and respect for what we do...sometimes you have to MTFU and give a bit . Mind, my weekday hours ARE going to go down, you're not having your cake AND eating it.

 

[Saluki]

Yes I said that I would look after your dogs for a weekend while you visit friends in York. A weekend is Saturday and Sunday. Today is Thursday and you are not back until the small hours of next flaming Wednesday. You are taking the pi$$!
Your frikkin dogs are here, they have bloody fleas and you haven't brushed the sodding things in a month. They are moulting EVERYWHERE and my flat looks like a bomb has hit it. Yes, I am a dog groomer. A very good dog groomer and I suppose I will have to give them a good brush out and use a furminator on them. To stop my flat looking like a grooming room requires a couple of hours of hard work on my part but I will just have to to that. Your text of 'any chance you can bath them for me?' is a bloody cheek. Yes I can. No I won't. You bought huskies, you look after them.

Hubster got your text saying that we could stay at yours and take ours too so our flat doesn't get fluffy. Cool idea! Yup, we've popped around looking for the dog food you neglected to drop off with them and I know that I have popped round and done a quick tidy for your weekend return in the past, and you have possibly come to expect that we will run a hoover around in your absence, but I don't have an industrial vacuum, I don't have a flame thrower, I am not even going in that kitchen as the mouldy plates might have legs by now and as for the overflowing bins Hubster looked in the bedroom (he still has a view to stay at yours to stop our flat looking like your flat) and backed out double quick, looking a bit pale. Neither of us dare look in the bathroom.

Your brother rang and said "I see you got lumbered with the dogs" Turned out that friend tried the 'weekend' thing on him a couple of months ago and was gone for 10 days. He also said "You know that he is expecting you to have a wee tidy up to make it nice for his homecoming again". I asked if he'd seen the flat and he said "why do you think that I turned the dogs away"

I am going for a little lay down now. Possibly a cry.

Oh, I am taking no responsibility if they batter the top gate down and escape again. No riding for me today as I can't get out of the front door without your bloody dogs battering the gate and rushing the front door. I've caught them once today. They can stay in until Hubster comes home from dialysis.

And breathe

*Reminder to self* Stop being nice and start telling people to poke off when they ask 'favours'

 

[Ganymede]

*Reminder to self* Stop being nice and start telling people to poke off when they ask 'favours'

Jeez Saluki, what utter feckers!!!! You should book the dogs into a kennel and charge the barstewards for it when they get back! Evil, evil people! "Poke off" is the LEAST you should say!

 

[Saluki]

Jeez Saluki, what utter feckers!!!! You should book the dogs into a kennel and charge the barstewards for it when they get back! Evil, evil people! "Poke off" is the LEAST you should say!

It's another reason that I am looking to move away.
He's a very old friend (or at least I have known him for 30+ years anyway), his brother used to date my best friend. The chap has had a couple of breakdowns, has Aspergers and suffers with depression. I am pretty sure though, that he must be aware that he's taking the mick

 

[Scoosh]

.....

*Reminder to self* Stop being nice and start telling people to poke off when they ask 'favours'

YAY !!!

GO SALUKI ! ....


... then

 

[Ganymede]

Actually, @Saluki, if they are customers of yours, you might have their credit card details that you could give to the kennels...

 

[Ganymede]

It's another reason that I am looking to move away.
He's a very old friend (or at least I have known him for 30+ years anyway), his brother used to date my best friend. The chap has had a couple of breakdowns, has Aspergers and suffers with depression. I am pretty sure though, that he must be aware that he's taking the mick

Oh I posted about the credit card before seeing this. If he has Aspergers he may need to have it spelled out a little more clearly! I mean, if he's done this before he may feel he has "learned" that it's ok...

 

[Arch]

"Jeez, could you walk any slower? Was your mother a sloth?"

To the skip driver who came to collect our plastic skip today. We couldn't get in to unload our vehicle until he'd finished, but everytime he had to walk round the lorry to hook or unhook the chains, he ambled so slowly I thought he must have been taking the micky.

 

[matth411]

Here we go again, you know more about bikes than I do. Despite being mid 40s, who hasn't exercised in about 20 years, and is overweight. Do me a HUGE favour and shut the f**k up.