Things you should never say to a cyclist.

[Slick]

Please ignore the fact that as a driver I speed in almost every situation but certainly in 20mph zones where it's most important to protect everyone else but hang that cyclist for refusing to stay tucked in beside a left turning article and goes through the red light whilst it was clear as they think the law doesn't apply to them.

 

[Drago]

the age I am now, I’d have gladly accepted the compliment

Thing is, if i'd shouted it at a female it would have been considered lecherous, pervy, bad form.

 

[jayonabike]

From a child in the passenger seat one time. ‘Hey Mister, my Dad says your doing 32mph’.

My reply... ‘Tell your Dad he’s speeding’.

So were you.

 

[flake99please]

Thing is, if i'd shouted it at a female it would have been considered lecherous, pervy, bad form.

Carol Vorderman, nekked, covered in marmite, with a pint of Guinness balanced in her cleavage and a rolled up copy of Bass Player magazine perched in her bum crack.

 

[flake99please]

So were you.

Speeding...? On a bike?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I could buy a car for the price of that.

It funny isn’t it, I reckon the cost of running a car, you could easily buy two decent bikes a year for the same.

 

[jayonabike]

Speeding...? On a bike?

If your going 32 in a 30 then yeah

 

[flake99please]

If your going 32 in a 30 then yeah

Applies to motorised vehicles only.

 

[Drago]

Yeah, but I don't shout at her arse in public. Well, not since the magistrate told me to stop.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Yeah, but I don't shout at her arse in public. Well, not since the magistrate told me to stop.

In your case isn’t it Carol Pwoarderman?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

You cycled 5 miles? You must be really fit!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Why do you ride so slowly?

 

[Drago]

Why do you ride so slowly?

Er, to avoid tearing the fabric of space-time. Duh!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Er, to avoid tearing the fabric of space-time. Duh!

Ah but as a black hole you are sucking the life out of the Universe.

 

[Accy cyclist]

How about this one, said to me soon after that case where the cyclist with no brakes collided with a woman stepping off the pavement (or summat like that) in London,sadly ending in her dying. 'What about you f..k..g cyclist bastards killing that woman'! So all of us 'cyclist bastards' killed her,according to the knobhead.