Things you should never say to a cyclist.

[Rickshaw Phil]

100 miles? How many days will that take?

100 miles? Is it for charity?

 

[roubaixtuesday]

You *are* brave!

 

[Levo-Lon]

Do you get the bike serviced at Halfords

 

[tom73]

How many miles ? you must be mad

 

[swee'pea99]

What gives you the right to hold up traffic?

Why are you wearing shorts in this weather?

Why aren’t you using the cycle lane over there?

Why do you cycle that wide from the kerb?

Do you ever clean your bike?

Why do you have a black mark on your calf?

Why do you need a car as well?

Why are your cheeks red?

Why are you fiddling with it again?

Wouldn’t it be safer to pay someone to change the brakes for you?

Why is your saddle so high it looks silly?

Do you have other uses for your Balaclava on the weekends?

It’s not fair, why can’t I be as thin as you?

Why are you wearing tap dancing shoes?

No one has ever said any of these to me, apart from Why are you fiddling with it again?

 

[tom73]

Do you normal dress to that side

 

[Specialeyes]

BITD it was always, for reasons I never really understood, either "get off and milk it" or "oi mate, yer back wheel's going round!" - that's what passed for witty repartee in 1980s West Somerset!

 

[tom73]

We don't sell cake

 

[Archie_tect]

One for the stokers out there...

"She's not pedalling you know."

 

[roley poley]

"you looking at another bike? you have 3 in the house and only one ar*e" ..note to self, don't mention her shoes.... DO NOT MENTION HER SHOES

 

[The Bystander]

for reasons I never really understood... "get off and milk it"

Harking back to the sponsorship of The Tour of Britain / Milk Race (?)

"oi mate, yer back wheel's going round!"

Still passing for witty repartee in 2020s Northamptonshire
I understand proper etiquette demands the reply "So's your wife"

 

[Drago]

"Nice arse!"

I have had this shouted at me by a MILF in a BMW convertible, and while I'm sure she was being complimentary I actually found it a little disturbing.

 

[flake99please]

From a child in the passenger seat one time. ‘Hey Mister, my Dad says your doing 32mph’.

My reply... ‘Tell your Dad he’s speeding’.

 

[flake99please]

On the trike.

That looks comfy...
Are you disabled?
Why do you ride that when you’re not disabled?
How much?
My car only cost X amount.

and most often... can I get a shot?

 

[Gunk]

"Nice arse!"

I have had this shouted at me by a MILF in a BMW convertible, and while I'm sure she was being complimentary I actually found it a little disturbing.

the age I am now, I’d have gladly accepted the compliment