The Retirement Thread

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pawl

Legendary Member
I had a phone call about 'the accident you recently had'.
I said 'Which one? There's been so many recently!'
'Was it the one where I'd drunk 10 pints and drove through a crowd of disabled lesbians at a bus stop, or the one where I'd accidentally shot the vicar with my crossbow?'
Long silence, then hung up. :laugh:


Mrs P has just had a call allegedly from Amazon stating that £300 25 had been spent on her account if it was not her press one for more info Recorded message of course
 

pawl

Legendary Member
Re the Dave problem.We had two Dave's in our
Ittle group so we solved the problem by adding the place where they live ie Seacroft Dave.Problem solved.
When I was eleven my sister married a David He was big David me little David Things then got complicated my niece married a David I was promoted to middle David Hope you are keeping up.Big David died so I got promoted to big David My great niece has just had a boy guess what she has named him Yes David
 

classic33

Leg End Member
So, where did you bury your lanky neighbourly rival...? :whistle:
Why do you think he does his neighbours gardening!!
 

oldwheels

Legendary Member
Location
Isle of Mull
Another nice sunny day but not much done with it.
Up the top garden I was astonished to find a pile of roofing material lying on the grass. The guy I have been nagging for weeks to fix my shed roof must have arranged delivery.
They are on his account so he has to get on and finish the job before he gets paid so perhaps it may happen soon. He is a bit of a hippy and while a good workman and always helpful to ancient neighbours he can be just a bit too laid back.
Spent ages at the medics this morning to no real conclusion. I have an "interesting" heartbeat and students are always summoned for a listen.
I am very anaemic apparently which explains some of my symptoms but there is no obvious cause so now I will get run through the system until something is pinpointed. Probably have to go to Paisley for some of them which is a nightmare of a place to get into. There are signs for the hospital but all cunningly hidden behind bushes and street furniture and the back route taken by ambulances is not very obvious.
I had to do a few quick runs with my wife down there but I had a white Transit at that time. Nobody messes with a white tranny in a rush. The old T2 VW was better as it had large battered looking robust steel bumpers which frightened people.:ohmy:
 

PaulSB

Squire
Hmmm, I need to catch up. I don't have any trophies. 😭 I've got some finishing medals. The sort you get after paying £30 to enter a sportive. 😂

Hotel saga. I'm happy. I explained the voucher problem to the owner. She has a dummy booking for tomorrow night. I've handed over the voucher code and she'll say I stayed the night and claim the cash. Result!

Eyes. She's asked to see me again in eight weeks. I think it's the eau de cologne. That or the significant rise in the eye pressure. New drops for eight weeks and if no improvement we have to discuss surgical options. Routine stuff so I'm not fussed.
 

classic33

Leg End Member
Hmmm, I need to catch up. I don't have any trophies. 😭 I've got some finishing medals. The sort you get after paying £30 to enter a sportive. 😂

Hotel saga. I'm happy. I explained the voucher problem to the owner. She has a dummy booking for tomorrow night. I've handed over the voucher code and she'll say I stayed the night and claim the cash. Result!

Eyes. She's asked to see me again in eight weeks. I think it's the eau de cologne. That or the significant rise in the eye pressure. New drops for eight weeks and if no improvement we have to discuss surgical options. Routine stuff so I'm not fussed.
How is her claiming the cash, for a booking she cancelled, a result?
 
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