The Retirement Thread

[GM]

Morning all... I was helping the boy out yesterday to finish a job he's doing by hanging a couple of doors. Got all set up and the boooooomb, my 40 year old Elu planer died on me, so a cheap replacement and try again today.

This came up on my FB this morning, made me chuckle....

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with some of the other old blokes.
So I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her. I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You are over 83 and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said. "I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went dead...
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun...Life can still be fun as an elderly man

Have a good day folks!

 

[Exlaser2]

I spoke to soon 😂😂😂

 

[rustybolts]

Can I send you the pair you left here ? They are taking up a whole wardrobe.

Is the smoke still coming off them ?

 

[rustybolts]

Morning all... I was helping the boy out yesterday to finish a job he's doing by hanging a couple of doors. Got all set up and the boooooomb, my 40 year old Elu planer died on me, so a cheap replacement and try again today.

This came up on my FB this morning, made me chuckle....

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested that I go down to the Senior Centre and hang out with some of the other old blokes.
So I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her. I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You are over 83 and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said. "I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went dead...
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun...Life can still be fun as an elderly man

Have a good day folks!

Gave me the best laugh for a month ! brilliant !

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Your getting up too early. I didn’t get up until 8.30 and there is no sign of any snow here in binley 😂😀😀

Wifes carer is due between seven and half seven so I don't get a choice, I was up even earlier the other morning, my Good Lady phoned me about quarter past six because she needed me downstairs to help with the commode. it would be nice to sleep in sometimes.

 

[classic33]

I'm going to share my dream with you........last night I was holed up in a house in a small village with my family. The house had a clear view of the road entering the village.

We were living through a pandemic and had to keep a 24 hour watch for people approaching on the road. We shot anyone who appeared in case they were infected.

Stay away from Chorley.........,,,🔫

You shot the people bringing you the antidote. You're doomed, doomed do you hear.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

According to CNN

Scientists have discovered X-rays coming from Uranus


let the jokes commence

link if anyone wants the space story rather than just making cheap mucky jokes
https://edition.cnn.com/2021/04/01/world/uranus-xrays-detected-scli-scn-intl

 

[welsh dragon]

It's snowing here..

 

[PaulSB]

It's beautiful here. Bright, bright sunshine. Chilly but warm in the sun. Excellent ride with my friend, great to see her after two years. We dropped off the group and diverted for coffee and chat.

Got to dash to the sports club now to help with the clean up day. Then we have No 3 son and granddaughter coming for tea.

 

[Archie_tect]

No.1 daughter's partner presented me with a Lidl cycle maintenance stand on Friday- he'd heard there was a sale on and called in to their local store and got one- unprompted... he's clearly a keeper!

 

[classic33]

According to CNN

Scientists have discovered X-rays coming from Uranus


let the jokes commence

link if anyone wants the space story rather than just making cheap mucky jokes
https://edition.cnn.com/2021/04/01/world/uranus-xrays-detected-scli-scn-intl

Did you note the date of that piece?

 

[classic33]

No.1 daughter's partner presented me with a Lidl cycle maintenance stand on Friday- he'd heard there was a sale on and called in to their local store and got one- unprompted... he's clearly a keeper!

He's after one or more of your bikes.

 

[pawl]

Hells teeth it’s started snowing and the bird feeders need refilling They will have to wait g

 

[pawl]

Good morning folks, the weather is bonkers, its snowing, but its snowing heavier out the front than it is out the back.

Front further north than the back

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Did you note the date of that piece?

Damn
they really should take those down after the date!!