1 Feb. It just keeps raining.....
I listened to the rain all night. I knew it was cold out there too when the cat jumped onto the bed and settled on my chest, purring loudly. This morning I have severe lockdown lassitude and no energy for anything. It has rained for days now. The lawn has a layer of water on it and there are muddy streams of soil lying across it from the fields that slope down to the house.
I look at the bike, that is currently allowed to live indoors. It looks back at me, inscrutable, impassive. I have no idea what it is trying to say. Go out? Stay in? Don't care?
There is mist hanging around the trees and I can't see the field edges from the window. Skeins of thin, cold rain process across the garden.
'Sighing won't help'. Sage words from my wife. 'Go out, you make me feel nervous just staring out the window'.
It is not as cold as I thought it would be once I get moving. I really like my new bike although I worry about getting it muddy and wet. We hiss through the standing water on the lanes, rumble over the gravel deposited at every field gate, skitter over the larger stones and make our mucky progress along empty roads. I can feel my head getting colder as the rain penetrates and the wind cuts grooves in my skull. I change my mind about being warm. I am getting colder.
No matter. I am out and pedalling and that is enough. The lassitude has gone. There is no plan today. Just left or right and down some new lanes, hoping I end up somewhere I know.
Soft shell jackets are great but this one is getting wetter, heavier and colder as the ride goes on. Water is no longer beading on the arms and I can also feel my shoes filling. Some of the puddles are deeper than I thought.
The day is grey above and grey below. Even the hedgerows have been dulled and lost their colour. A patch of snowdrops and some blades of green that will be daffodils eventually do cheer me, a flash of colour in a monochrome world. A final hill, steep broken tarmac, a forgotten lane. It is steep. I haven't been up this one before and I can feel why. Chest exploding, nauseous but at least a bit warmer at the top although my jacket continues to hang lugubriously off my shoulders with all the water it has absorbed.
Nothing has changed when I get home. Everything is still wet. The lawn continues to squelch, sending ripples of water as I walk across it. The bike is less dirty than I expected. The rain has washed it clean(ish) as we have gone along. I drip in the hall, removing layers. The cat watches, unimpressed. He isn't going outside today but I am glad that I did.
The weather forecast has a sun symbol for tomorrow. It is so long since I have seen one I had look it up.
Here comes the rain again......