Stupid names for everyday things

[swee'pea99]

I'm not sure when delivery companies decided they were in the business of Distribution, but they didn't stay long before deciding they were now all about Delivering Logistical Solutions.

 

[Blue Hills]

And how about the "Police Force" attempts to rebrand themselves as the "Police Service". At the risk of sounding political and being forever exiled to the NACA part of the forum, I read this as them trying to wriggle out of the responsibility of "enforcing the law" to "servicing the diktats of their political masters".

I think it's rather more to do with trying to convince the average bod that they are an accountable public service rather than a "force" intent on seeking interesting opportunities to beat folk up.
Re the old joke from my youth: "help the police - beat yourself up".

 

[classic33]

Clearly written by simeone with a mountain leaders qualification,

Summer or Winter?

 

[mudsticks]

Bike packing. It derives from back packing, but you carry gear on the bike instead of your back. It was always about doing it whilst being on tracks in the mountains away from the roads. So why do people now apply it when riding in the road? No, your not bike packing, you're just touring with different luggage.

Quite unbeknownst to me, I morphed from being a cyclist tourist, who carries their camping gear, and goes off road to wild camp a bit, into a 'bike-packer' midway through a trip.

The first I knew of this rather startling transformation, was when a passing bike-shop guy appraised my luggage-laden bike, leant against a wall, and then opined

"I like your rig"

I even felt a bit 'gnarly' for all of five minutes, before realising i was still 'not so very butch' liddle ol me..

 

[mudsticks]

Swede - it's a turnip.

Tisn't so,

Quite horticulturally, and culinarily different

 

[Brains]

I always sign off my title as 'Cybernetic Entomologist' when reporting software bugs I find to our Developers

 

[Archie_tect]

Saw Communications Architect the other day..... he sells phone systems.

 

[Nigeyy]

Looking at colleges.... I was somewhat surprized to see the proliferation of bloody "wellness centres". They were "gyms" in my day, and you still got change out of ha'penny for purchasing an Austin Allegro as well.

 

[Shut Up Legs]

You know, quite often motivate by dpolitical correctness, people with the management skills of David Brent, or even the simply mischievous. We knew where we were in the old days when a spade was called a spade, but these days it's often quite difficult to figure what the hell they're on about.

Two examples to start you off. When I were a lad - a long time ago, I know - schools were called schools. Now locally we seem not to have schools any more, one being called a Learning Centre and another being called a Learning Village. And since when did they stop employing head teachers? You knew who the head was, but what on earth is a principal? It's the sort of evasive bullpois you'd expect to find in a dodgy used car advert, not a seat of learning.

So what other examples of daft names for every day things can you think of?

When I was in primary and high school in the 70s and 80s, the head of the school was termed the "principal". It's certainly not a new term in Australia.

 

[EltonFrog]

Pre-Order. What’s wrong with just ordering something when it’s not yet in stock?

Buffoons.

 

[Drago]

Oh yeah, pre owned or pre loved.

What's wrong with second hand? Used I could tolerate.

 

[Moodyman]

'Comfort women' as per the Japanese during WW2.

 

[mudsticks]

"Neologism irrascibility"


When what they really mean is that some folks just happen to have an innate aversion, to newly coined phrases

 

[Blue Hills]

Oh yeah, pre owned or pre loved.

What's wrong with second hand? Used I could tolerate.

Agree about pre-loved.
And despite their best efforts maybe not as positive as its users imagine.
Visions of something the previous owners have had up their rectum or covered in slobber.

 

[Poacher]

Those little pieces of batter in fish'n'chip shops being called "scraps".
They're really "scrumps", as any fule kno.