Stupid Americans

[Globalti]

Talking of raccoon hats.... last week Prince Charles came to make a speech at the Chamber of Commerce in Bury. He turned up wearing a Davy Crockett hat. Nobody said anything until the end when the Chairman was thanking Charlie for having come and made such a nice speech. "But do you mind my asking, Sir, why you are wearing that Davy Crockett hat?"

"Well," replied Charlie, "last night I telephoned my father the Duke of Edinburgh and he asked me what I was planning to do today. I told him I was going to Bury. The line was pretty bad but I'll swear he replied 'Wear the fox hat!'"

 

[Randochap]

Rocky Mountain high

Apparently this a list of some daft questions asked of Canadian Parks Rangers. Some of them may have come from Americans...or not, I`m not sure.

1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?

2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?

3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"

Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
Tourist: "Oh".

etc.

You forgot: (referring to Bow Falls) "Do they turn it off at night?"

Yes, I swear, me and a climbing buddy witnessed that one first hand.

Speaking of the Rockies. Photos of Rocky Mtn. 1200 riders, including a Brit on a folding fixed, accessed from here

 

[cchapman]

Yes there's the classic of showing them three words: tough; through and though. And then asking them to pronounce Loughborough.

Well, thats because you try to be a smart-alec and deceive them by with-holding thought, thorough, drought, and lough.

 

[domtyler]

So how come they did build it near the railway line then?

 

[PaulB]

That was thoroughly thought through. But I did once meet an American who, in all serisouness, asked me if we have beer in England! There were a couple of us Brits on a training course in Flagstaff Arizona for two weeks and we played this guy along saying we could only drink tea. Later in the week, this changed to only drinking tea if the Queen herself gave her permission for you to drink it. The guy bought it totally and was trying to tell all the other Americans on our course. To be fair, none of them bought it but played the poor guy along as well.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I strongly suspect that it would be possible to make a similar list of questions asked by any nationality in the world, including the Brits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

absolutly...what about the hoards of ignorant Brits who invade the Spanish southern cost and claim it as another home county? I think we Brits are probably the most arrogant of peoples anywhere. We have stupid people as well, they are called Chavs and drive white vans and believe that because they have been to Orlando they have conquered America.

 

[cchapman]

I wouldn't restrict myself to chavs (whatever they are)

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Phone rings.
Operator:You've reached 911,how may I help you?
Redneck:My wife just got bit by a warthog.Can you send an ambulance to 121 Eucalyptus?
Operator:Can you spell that for me,sir?

Long pause.

Redneck:Forget that.Just send that ambulance to Oak Lane,and I'll drag her over there.

 

[ColinJ]

Phone rings.
Operator:You've reached 911,how may I help you?
Redneck:My wife just got bit by a warthog.Can you send an ambulance to 121 Eucalyptus?
Operator:Can you spell that for me,sir?

Long pause.

Redneck:Forget that.Just send that ambulance to Oak Lane,and I'll drag her over there.

You've been listening to Funny 911 Calls!

 

[strofiwimple]

Little Britain, and not a hint of irony.

 

[Over The Hill]

Yes there's the classic of showing them three words: tough; through and though. And then asking them to pronounce Loughborough.

Why are they stupid for not knowing the secret code for unlocking how to say the words but we are not stupid for being the ones who made up a language that has nine different ways of pronouncing "ough" ?

Stupid English I say!

Also, this country is full of people who pronounce Gnu incorrectly and who learnt to pronounce it incorrectly by it being included in a silly song that was all about mispronouncing words.




Admit it you read it as “ger-noo”











(It is pronounced “nu” the G is silent like gnome. Americans may not be so stupid?)

 

[Maizie]

I do remember someone who had a colleague ask them why the days got longer in summer...and without missing a beat he explained that it was because it was warmer, you know, some things expand in the warm and get smaller in the cold. Hence days expanded in summer and contracted in winter.

I also remember a wonderful incident in the chemistry labs at uni. Someone was poking around looking for something and the lab assistant asked what they were after. The student replied 'It says in the instructions to wash this with 'copious water'. I can find the distilled water, but not the copious water'. The lab assistant said he'd go and fetch her some...filled up a bottle with distilled water and put a label on it: "Copious water. Use sparingly"

 

[andy_wrx]

4. Are the bears with collars tame?

Last month, in Sequoia National Park in California, we saw a bear fitted with a radio collar.

A bit later on we were in the visitor centre and I saw they had a sign asking visitors to report any bear sightings, so I told a ranger that we'd seen a bear, where it was, what time, etc.

I said it was probably a pet, because it was wearing a collar.

I don't know if it's because Americans don't do irony, or because NP Rangers are asked so many stupid questions, but she gave me a very funny look.



A few weeks earlier we'd been in Yellowstone and been amused at signs saying 'Do not approach the elk' at Mammoth Hot Springs.
There are residents houses surrounded by well-maintained grass lawns and, unsurprisingly, the elk prefer to come and graze on that than wild grasslands.
Because these elk are on the lawns, people assume they are tame...

Have a look at these films of cars being rammed by elk or people being tossed by bison : it's both astonishing and absolutely horrifying how stupid some people are, how close they will approach 1/2 tonne of wild animal...
http://www.nps.gov/yell/photosmultimedia/safetyvideos.htm

 

[Arch]

Factoid: What those American videos call Elk are actually Red Deer in 'English'. An Elk, according to European tradition of nomenclature, is what the Yanks call a moose.

Which is why science sticks to Latin names...

 

[Kirstie]

Also, this country is full of people who pronounce Gnu incorrectly and who learnt to pronounce it incorrectly by it being included in a silly song that was all about mispronouncing words.

(It is pronounced “nu” the G is silent like gnome. Americans may not be so stupid?)

A song which was featured on the muppet show, which was made in which country...? Eh?