Stupid accidents thread.

[ColinJ]

As an adult, sliced the top of my finger off twice (once with a mandolin and once with regular knife).

You can't have tuned it properly - it was obviously very sharp!

 

[Bazzer]

I was once trying to work out which Christmas tree light had blown by poking the wires from a 12 V motor into each socket in turn. My mother found me on the other side of the room, my right arm shaking violently (apparently with a will of its own), and my right hand holding a burned out motor which was smouldering gently...

Another time I decided to investigate thermal expansion and contraction by heating a milk bottle in a garden bonfire for half an hour and then chucking a saucepan of cold water on it. Half a broken bottle shot past my face and clattered against the garden fence behind me...

I spent 40 minutes of the most boring RE/RI lesson ever listening to a very annoying teacher droning on about some ancient dude doing something highly improbable to impress a bunch of people that I'd never heard of. Then the bell rang to signify the end of the lesson... I leapt to my feet and made a dash for the door to beat the rush but tripped and fell towards the door frame. I stretched my right arm out to break my fall and dragged my hand down the edge of the frame, causing a large splinter to go straight under the nail of my middle finger and emerge on the other side. If you have ever wondered about those movie torture scenes where sadists mess with people's nails you can stop now... yes, it actually does hurt 'quite a lot'!

Ooh yes, nails are painful.
Not long after I was married, I was cutting some wood and it broke unexpectedly resulting in my thumb nail catching the tethered section of wood. Weirdly the thumb nail didn't come off, but I developed a rapidly swelling blood blister under it. After 3 or 4 hours the throbbing was awful, so Mrs B took me to A&E at Bury General.
As calm as you like, one of the nurses took me into a cubicle, straightened a paper clip and heated the end. She then jammed my hand under her arm and put the hot end of the paper clip through the nail. Once I had calmed down, the relief from the throbbing was almost immediate, but for a few seconds my head felt like it had exploded.

 

[neil_merseyside]

<SNIP>
As calm as you like, one of the nurses took me into a cubicle, straightened a paper clip and heated the end. She then jammed my hand under her arm and put the hot end of the paper clip through the nail. Once I had calmed down, the relief from the throbbing was almost immediate, but for a few seconds my head felt like it had exploded.

As an apprentice machinist the preferred method was drilling the nail using the pillar drill - usually by a mate as the drill was Right Handed just like injury...

 

[Notafettler]

cycling down a sheepish road, at a decent speed about one o'clock in the morning. Noticed road was all shiny. Stopped pedalling, bike immediately went from under me. Lay there with a very sore shoulder waiting for somebody to come along and help me up. No chance on rural back road. Had to get up on a extremely slippery road get on the grass verge and walk the half a mile home. Struggled to stay upright where there no grass verge. BBC said temperature would be 4 degrees...lieing basxxxds.

 

[Dave7]

Aged 19. Winter. On my motorbike. On the way to work. Going down a steep gravel covered road covered in snow.......why would I do that .
Applied brakes..... slid along gravel on my bum (no leathers).
Ended up in hospital, lying on my front while the nurse picked gravel out of my bum.
Road home with a bandaged bum and a big hole in my trousers.