Thanks for asking Katherine.
Being new to stress I find it hard to describe. I never thought I was the sort of person who would have to.
Non of my symptoms are noticeable to other people and I have always thought of people who take time off with stress to be shirkers, but now I am in their position, I know I was wrong.
My union paid for me to talk to a stress councillor and that was interesting. She knew what I was going to say before I said it as she hears the same story over and over again, or a variation of it. In fact a lot of what she said about work is what Jannie has told me for years.
I have a great home life. Nice home, a good pension every month from the UK, plenty of money in the bank, I don't drink or smoke and I ride 40km most days. I have been with Jannie 10 years and we have never had an argument. I can't think of anything I want. I have bikes, motorbikes, cameras. I have everything I want and so the stress is not coming from home.
At work I am often taking things on in my department which other people should be doing because people prefer me to do it. I am always sorting out problems in my department which are not my problems. I work long hours, often evening work. If something needs doing I am always the one management comes to. Nobody is delegated to look after our department and management will not delegate a team leader. If they did it would be me.
It is my work ethic that has landed me in my position. It drives me nuts to see other colleagues wandering around chatting all day while I am grafting my arxe off. This has been going on for years and management just ignore it.......my heat rate has just shot up.......breath........breath. :0)
I am in this position because for years I wanted to be the best I could possibly be at what I do for work and I was always pushing myself to do that until my body decided it was time to stop. It basically decided that overnight.
Those people who wander around chatting all day have actually got it right.
The sleeplessness, chest pains, anxiety and shakes I am experiencing now is my body telling me to back off and slow down for a while and it can take 3 months for my nervous system to reboot itself. My symptoms are normal and are good according to the stress councillor as some people do not react to the symptoms. Apparently, 1700 people die of stress related illnesses in Denmark every year.
My stress councillor asked if I stopped work now what effect would it have over the next year and my reply was it wouldn't have any effect. My pension pays all my living expenses and my salary is pocket money. But the stupid thing is that there is a box in my head that is still telling me to go back to work now and it is very hard to fight.
My biggest challenge is accepting that I am suffering from stress. Once I can do that I can start to move on.
I am looking at renewing my driving licenses and taking a Drivers CPC course in the UK in April and then looking for a little driving job locally. I am also looking at opening a dog walking business, which is unheard of in Denmark.
I am also signed up for 5 acupuncture classes which is to help relieve stress. It is in a great location not far from me.
At the back of all this is my work. The easiest thing is just to resign and take that pressure away but I like making sails on a big scale and am not prepared to try and set up as an independent. I see those crash and burn, year in year out.
If I do leave and I think I will. I will have a tear in my eye if I pass my sails as I am kayaking.
The good thing is that having this time is helping me to sort the files out in my head and to start sorting the pros and cons. It's not often any of us takes time to do that.
My other option is to fly to Gibralter with the bike to visit an old school friend and then ride back and write a book about the journey. My stress councillor likes that idea :0)
I am taking advance orders on the signed book. Yes..books are made of paper.
Sorry for the ramble but some of the points I have mentioned may strike a chord with someone else.
If you are thinking you cannot suffer from stress.....neither could I.
...I cycle, I cook, I walk the dog , I read and do stuff that I never realised I could do...I work on my bikes, I plan tours ...I lie in until I decide to get up and go to bed when I want.
