Stress has caught up with me.
- Thread starter steveindenmark
- Start date
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velovoice
Veteran
- Location
- Between the City and the Sea
Full sympathies, Steve.
I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago due to feeling overwhelmed from attempting to juggle so many things in so little time -- with my final law exam looming in three months' -- and struggling with feelings of anger and frustration (and guilt for those feelings!)
The main point that came out of my first few sessions in relation to my work stress was the need to identify what are your responsibilities, and what are others' responsibilities? Are you taking on stuff that really isn't your 'problem'? (whether voluntarily or by not successfully resisting when others push it onto you)
If (a) you weren't hired to do it, (b) you're not being paid (extra) to do it, and/or (c) you've not been promoted (so that it is now your responsibility when before it wasn't, with commensurate payrise let's not forget!) --- then....
.... it's not your problem. If there's too much work, that's your employers' responsibility to sort out e.g. hire and train more people, the right people.
This was never a situation of your making. You did your best, but it was not your responsibility to become the solution to what are essentially your employers' staffing and management failures.
Enjoy your break!
I started seeing a psychologist a few weeks ago due to feeling overwhelmed from attempting to juggle so many things in so little time -- with my final law exam looming in three months' -- and struggling with feelings of anger and frustration (and guilt for those feelings!)
The main point that came out of my first few sessions in relation to my work stress was the need to identify what are your responsibilities, and what are others' responsibilities? Are you taking on stuff that really isn't your 'problem'? (whether voluntarily or by not successfully resisting when others push it onto you)
If (a) you weren't hired to do it, (b) you're not being paid (extra) to do it, and/or (c) you've not been promoted (so that it is now your responsibility when before it wasn't, with commensurate payrise let's not forget!) --- then....
.... it's not your problem. If there's too much work, that's your employers' responsibility to sort out e.g. hire and train more people, the right people.
This was never a situation of your making. You did your best, but it was not your responsibility to become the solution to what are essentially your employers' staffing and management failures.
Enjoy your break!
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
SO your employers want you back asap, so you can do the wOrk of three people for one persons wage , well of course they want you back,.... but this just proves they dont give a sh!t about you , only about themselves, look after number one , and thats YOU.
Kajjal
Guru
- Location
- Wheely World
I have a very stressful challenging job and you have to look after yourself. It is easier said than done at times with challenges from outside work as well. Eventually i just came to the conclusion do the job well but with the minimum of effort. If you can't do everything given to you that is your managers problem not yours. To often people take pressures and responsibilities that are not theirs through wanting to do an impossible job properly.
martint235
Dog on a bike
- Location
- Welling
Similar to my motto of "Not my circus, not my monkeys"
velovoice
Veteran
- Location
- Between the City and the Sea
Exactly! The difficulty often lies in identifying which things are not your problem. Once you do, it can feel like a load dropping off your shoulders.
Fab Foodie
hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
- Location
- Kirton, Devon.
@steveindenmark ypu're in good company and many of us are in the same boat. It's good to talk. That you've been signed off for 4 weeks is a good sign, in the UK, you're lucky to get 4 days.
martint235
Dog on a bike
- Location
- Welling
Do you require explanation??
D
Deleted member 1258
Guest
My sympathies Steve, take the full four weeks and if you need it take more, spend some quality time with your other half, ride your bike, catch up with the odd jobs, or anything else you want to do, don't go back till you feel right, if you go back and things are still the same walk away and go find something that better suits you, life's too short to be working yourself into the deck.
sidevalve
Über Member
It's a sad tale. I am [still] dealing with my wife's spine injury and how it has changed our lives and taken away our dreams [and changed her - a lot]. Our plans to tour on tandem and by m/cycle are now gone. Even long distance car travel and daily living is difficult. Beware the shaking hands and loss of will to carry on living. One piece of advice I can offer which may help in your case is a thought a work colleague once told me - work is a straight exchange, time for money At the end of the day you have another life - a real life. Focus on the real.
Best
Best
Mrs M
Guru
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
Best wishes to you.
Sorry to hear your employer is being so selfish and unsupportive to someone who has given them loyal service and worked hard. Must be very disappointing for you (to say the least).
Hope you take the time off, de stress and get back on track.
Occupational health advisers at work can be very helpful if your company has that facility?
This can happen to any of us, it's not nice but you have taken steps to make things better
.
Take care
Sorry to hear your employer is being so selfish and unsupportive to someone who has given them loyal service and worked hard. Must be very disappointing for you (to say the least).
Hope you take the time off, de stress and get back on track.
Occupational health advisers at work can be very helpful if your company has that facility?
This can happen to any of us, it's not nice but you have taken steps to make things better
.Take care
Andrew_P
In between here and there
My advice is a little contradictory to most on of the other advice on here. I Would take the 4 weeks but have a face to face meeting with managers/owner and have an agreed plan for your return and your workload. The longer you are away from work the harder and more stressful it could be going back, or the thought of going back causing more anxiety/stress.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
That is a prerequisite of a return to work but it may better be accomplished by a third party such as the Occupational Health folks
OP
OP
steveindenmark
Legendary Member
Jannie has told me this so many times. My problem in this respect is that I have pride in my work ethic and have battled and battled, not to let it get on top of me. Just letting it slide would have proved to be just as difficult for me.
I am now changing my view on that.
