Signs you are doing well financially.

[Electric_Andy]

A very tricky subject to comment on. I know very wealthy people who do not show it at all and are very humble. I also know people with huge debts and finance outstanding who will tell you about their "stuff" all day. And vice versa. If you are content with your wealth (whether high or low) then there should be no desire to advertise it to others. But I will admit I've been guilty of boasting about a new purchase to others who I know could not afford it. Probably not with intent to belittle anyone, but more to reinforce the fact that I work hard and save for the things I want. If analysed enough, it probably boils down to me feeling undervalued in life in general (including in my career) so on occasion I have popped up to say "they paid me enough to buy this...and I'm worth it".

Some people like to reassure others that they have made it in life; enough to get by comfortably anyway. Often because they lack confidence in themselves i.e. "I'm not smart or pretty so the only thing I can bring to the table is the fact that I have money"

 

[BoldonLad]

All of this is true of course but....
I tend to think many people are wired a specific way, you will either be profligate or careful (for want of a better word) It comes from within and in the beginning, im not even sure its a conscience decision, its just what feels right.

Every bit applies to me in a way...

I've always tried (and usually succeeded) to live within my income potential.
I've always tried to limit, or control what debt we have.
I've always saved when I could.
It's never really bothered me having a modest car or house.
I don't really care what anyone else thinks of my status.

Trouble is , I really do think it's hard wired, I'm not sure if someone is generally profligate or needy, you / they can change it ...or that they even want to. (Generally speaking of course, there will always be those in the middle ground that can take something from the advice.

I remember discussing this with my late brother who was always stretched financially. We went through his finances and I told him he could ( if he had told me all his outgoings correctly) save £200 a month.

No firkin way he proclaimed.

You can. I replued...but life will be a bit more boring.

Some people don't want boring or constrained, some people want to live as bigger life as they can.

At 75yo, I have reached a similar conclusion, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with intelligence, just, a different perception.

 

[BoldonLad]

You never used to see this, but nowadays it's a common site, I don't know what it says about the owners, if anything.

It simply means you can get. a lot of car for £300/month on PCP.

If I go for an early morning cycle ride, before people have set off for work, I often cycle through streets with 100s of thousands of cars parked on the drives, and, that is is in a very "ordinary" section of one of the most deprived areas in the UK. It doesn't mean that all of those cars are actually paid for, or, that the "owners" could realise the capital in them, if they so wished.

But, it is their choice, and, long may it be so.

 

[BoldonLad]

Sadly, I read somewhere that over half the UK population don't even have 1 month of 'cover'.

I was in that place myself a long time ago when mortgage rates hit 15-16%.

It was a pretty scarey moment tbh.

Ditto. Especially scary when my then employer announced redundancies!, but, fortunately, I wasn't one of them made redundant. Phew!

 

[Moodyman]

I’m glad there are people who buy lease shiny new cars. It helps ensure there is a steady supply of nearly new cars for us 2nd, 3rd or even 4th owners.

 

[BoldonLad]

My neighbour, who has a BMW, a 4 x 4 and a SAAB drop top has told me - an hour ago - that she is ‘a better class‘ than me because she has more money than me and can run 3 cars, has a 70” TV (that sounds massive to me), a massive hi-fi, brand new furniture and kitchen (landlord has just done an upgrade to hers) and 5 dogs. She said much more but most of it was profanity and name calling and I can’t remember the order of it.
Unlike her, I work and have done all my life, since leaving school in 1980. Yes I have been to college and University too but worked then too. I have one 09 reg car, which is paid for. A few bikes, also paid for. Everything I own has been saved for to be bought.

I am not sure what ’class’ the 29 year old, next to me is. She has never worked, ever. She had her first child at 16 and has had 2 more since. She likes to tell me that she is ‘better’ than me because she has all this money thrown at her by ‘scrubbers like me, money grubbing to pay her bills’. I certainly think that I have better manners. She has just told me that I am a failure as I don’t have life trappings. Maybe, I don’t have an IVA or an ASBO either. Neither, in my opinion, are desirable in life.

I don’t think that I am going to try for her ‘status’.
Actually, I have seen many people trying to keep up with the Jones’, as my parents use to call it. I have seen people financially broken by it too. Now I work for a bank, in the debt department and see the horrors, I think that the status game is a losing one. I have watched a few videos from the YouTube lady, she speaks a lot of sense.

Never a borrower or a lender be, is what I was told, growing up. Don’t buy things on the ‘never never’ and you’ll be fine. I always have been too. I have a spreadsheet and I am not afraid to use it.

Your neighbour sounds absolutely charming

I daresay you are a much nicer person

 

[BoldonLad]

A rather sad little story, if I may....

A friend of mine, who also happened to be my boss for several years of my working life, worked hard, and, lived a reasonable but not extravagant life.

He had a wife, and family, and, was reasonably well off, with no debts, approaching the era of thinking of retirement (mid 50's), with children grown-up and independent.

Disaster struck, he was diagnosed with an incurable cancer, although, his demise was not instant, he had approximately 10 more years, before the end came.

Among the friends and acquaintances, there were the predictable mutterings of 'well, his money can help him now".

Personally, I think there were wrong, he had ten more years, the fact that he had some accumulated money meant that while he was able he could enjoy holidays etc with his wife and children, indulge his hobbies (football fan and owner of fast cars).

If he had been "poor" the illness would still have struck, and, the consequences would have been just as dire, but, in addition, his remaining life would have been much less comfortable.

My friend is dead now, been gone for almost ten years, but, he went out with a bit of style, AND, he left his family provided for. Well done him I say.

 

[Badger_Boom]

Except in the abstract, why are people so concerned with how others choose to spend their money?

Regardless of how careful we may be, I'm sure we all own or do something that would cause a casual observer to raise an eyebrow and muter things about 'more money than sense'.

 

[BoldonLad]

Except in the abstract, why are people so concerned with how others choose to spend their money?

Regardless of how careful we may be, I'm sure we all own or do something that would cause a casual observer to raise an eyebrow and muter things about 'more money than sense'.

Very true... I use that exact phrase about personalised number plates

 

[gzoom]

My friend is dead now, been gone for almost ten years, but, he went out with a bit of style, AND, he left his family provided for. Well done him I say.

We all die, its just a matter of when. Having money let's you do things that you simply cannot do without money, that's the reality of how the world work.

I've lived and experienced what it's like not to have the freedom/luxury money can/does buy you, and I have no nostalgia about living without as much disposable income as I have now.

 

[lazybloke]

Except in the abstract, why are people so concerned with how others choose to spend their money?

Because millions are struggling in a cost of living crisis, and we MUST impart our collective wisdom to the infinitesimally small fraction of that number that will read the thread!

 

[All uphill]

Except in the abstract, why are people so concerned with how others choose to spend their money?

Regardless of how careful we may be, I'm sure we all own or do something that would cause a casual observer to raise an eyebrow and muter things about 'more money than sense'.

Because we all have to make decisions about how we deal with money, and it's interesting to chat about it?

 

[Slick]

A rather sad little story, if I may....


My friend is dead now, been gone for almost ten years, but, he went out with a bit of style, AND, he left his family provided for. Well done him I say.

I'm always wary about being accused of sexism when I make comments like this, but I believe that is essentially what we (males) were put on this earth to do.

 

[gzoom]

I'm always wary about being accused of sexism when I make comments like this, but I believe that is essentially what we (males) were put on this earth to do.

My other half would have something to say about that, Prof in Cardiology, awared multiple 6 figure grants for clinical research, can poke wires in your heart without killing you, and if she really wanted to could easily earn ££££££ in private practice, all before 40.

I've just finished a week as the most senior clinican in one of the largest acute care NHS organisation around, when things were hitting the fan earlier this week, it wasn't other men that I turned to for advice and guidance.

The saying our 7 year old daughter has learnt from me this week 'Do what others don't want to today, so tomorrow you can do things others cannot'.

Gender has nothing to with attainment, ambition, or ability. None at all. Men are more risk averse, and depending how lucky you are. Speculative risk some times gets you the moon shot, but often lands you failure if you don't have mitigations in place.

 

[I like Skol]

People have to spend their money on something!

Which is fine when they are spending their money. The trouble is that far too many people spend other peoples money on somethings......