Sell me on cats

[fossyant]

Tree Decoration Cat

 

[fossyant]

Our gang have a new friend. A neighbour has a young ginger ninja that's very similar to our Leo. Keeps coming over the fence and sits on the cat run looking for a way to get in. Simba is quite inquisitive and seems to like the cat. It's very friendly.

 

[icowden]

Problem solved, it still visits on its travels but now poops elsewhere. They go for ease and convenience, so a bit like making sure your bike lock is slightly stronger than the bike your parked next to, you just need to ensure your potential toilets are harder to use than neighbouring ones...

Also ease of coverage. Remember they are apex predators so they want to cover their traces so as not to scare off potential prey.

 

[icowden]

So all in all, a cat is the better option. However if it's an outside cat, be prepared for it to decide it prefers one of your neighbours and decides to abandon you forever. 😀

Or even just for a while. My local nextdoor is forever full of posts about "lost" cats.

 

[Profpointy]

They help you with tricky calls when playing poker

Now that said, I think I lost on that occasion so
she might actually be in cahoots with her owner

 

[Gwylan]

They help you with tricky calls when playing poker

View attachment 756124
Now that said, I think I lost on that occasion so
she might actually be in cahoots with her owner

Oh dear me, she's reading your cards. It's a scam.

 

[Mo1959]

Molly has just plonked herself on my lap, purring loudly and looking at me adoringly 😻

 

[lazybloke]

So many questions.
Where is the water?
Why is the cat in the paddling pool?
What the hell is the cat doing in that position?
Why is the paddling pool indoors?

 

[Ridgeway]

Catzilla has returned (and got into big trouble with Mrs R😂)


View: https://youtube.com/shorts/sYUUDrMRs6s?feature=share

 

[EckyH]

Today (!) I saw a post on diaspora* which led to this playlist:
View: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb-PcQmeRVGJ7xfRj0V0Aztayy928qV8z

Just finished episode 6. 🙈
Plot: They sell a Samurai on cats.

Disclaimer: I'm a simple minded person and not a cineast at all. That series is really my cup of tea: Cats, Samurai, some kind of metal music, justice and here and there something good for a laugh.

E.

 

[Sixmile]

When we go on holiday, our neighbour kindly pops round to ours to feed our cat who lives in what would've originally been our back hall. It's now blocked off from the house but has a door to the outside and she jumps in and out of the window and has her own space.

The neighbour in question is a single guy in his late 50s with no kids and hardly any visitors all year round. We go out for a few pints and a game of pool every so often. Last time we did, he confessed that my cat spends a lot of time in his house and he has been feeding her even when we're home - which I don't mind. Our cat will never come into our house because we've a big full size poodle who doesn't understand his size and weight, so it's nice that she provides company for him and vice versa.

Every time we go to the washing machine though, she still gets on like she hasn't been fed in months.

 

[StuAff]

The 'My Cat is an a*****e' page on FB keeps popping on my thread (not that I mind). This got posted there...
"
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL:
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from the floor and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid/plaster to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of whiskey. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire brigade to retrieve the sodding cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little git’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of whiskey. Get spouse to drive you to A&E sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect “mutant cat from hell” and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters."

 

[Alex321]

The 'My Cat is an a*****e' page on FB keeps popping on my thread (not that I mind). This got posted there...
"
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL:
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from the floor and set to one side for gluing later.
View attachment 762005 Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid/plaster to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of whiskey. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire brigade to retrieve the sodding cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little git’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of whiskey. Get spouse to drive you to A&E sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect “mutant cat from hell” and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters."

Far too much of that rings true!

 

[Salad Dodger]

I am biased against cats because I am allergic to them.
Literally allergic. Apparently it's an enzyme in cat saliva that sets off my quite extreme allergic reaction. So if a house has a cat, and the cat has been cleaning itself, leaving traces of this enzyme around, I get a very irritated throat, itchy eyes and start sneezing a lot.....

But I am alright with dogs, and I prefer them anyway. Sorry, cat lovers.....

 

[Gwylan]

I am biased against cats because I am allergic to them.
Literally allergic. Apparently it's an enzyme in cat saliva that sets off my quite extreme allergic reaction. So if a house has a cat, and the cat has been cleaning itself, leaving traces of this enzyme around, I get a very irritated throat, itchy eyes and start sneezing a lot.....

But I am alright with dogs, and I prefer them anyway. Sorry, cat lovers.....

I'm with you

But we are obliged to endure, even love, their pillage of the bird life and their disgusting toilet habits.
As for their night time trysts!

There were 3, 2 ginger - father and son, the Steptoes. Thieving pair of scroats, and Bertie.
The Steptoes got the message. Steptoe senior met something bigger and harder.
Harold went soft and found a new territory.

That left Bertie. A local scrounging, devious, quasi ferral she cat. She would have worn dungarees with Doc Martens and rolled her own.
Eventually she recognised me, my bike, my car. My bike whistle!
She would scowl at me, but retreat. Still have a dump outside my back gate.
Eventually the grim reaper did the decent thing. Bloody local FB page had an in memoriam section.

Right now we have a vacancy in the 'hood. But the fox might just make things too difficult.