Pointless things

[Notafettler]

Oh come on - they're great for helping you find your dog when you've been ignoring it for 20 minutes.

A whistle works if you trained your dog....unless she has found something to eat.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Most of the Cr*p I seem to have been hauling about in my bike panniers this week.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Anything I've hoarded for 25 years, right until the day after I've thrown it out

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

I've just picked up a hire car, and I'd like to add those... things... I don't even know what to call them. You need to keep it on your person and it automatically unlocks the car when you get close, and locks it when you walk away.

Why? What was wrong with a key?

Then they tell me not to leave it in the car... yet it's a small credit card sized plastic thing and there's a special place to put it - in the central console of the bloody car! Are they trying to catch me out or what?

And don't get me started on the lack of a flipping handbrake.

 

[Drago]

I've just picked up a hire car, and I'd like to add those... things... I don't even know what to call them. You need to keep it on your person and it automatically unlocks the car when you get close, and locks it when you walk away.

Why? What was wrong with a key?

Then they tell me not to leave it in the car... yet it's a small credit card sized plastic thing and there's a special place to put it - in the central console of the bloody car! Are they trying to catch me out or what?

And don't get me started on the lack of a flipping handbrake.

Ooh, that's a good one. And if you try the door handle just to check that its locked properly, the bloody car will sense the fob and unlock it. No one, anywhere, ever asked for this to be invented.

 

[NorthernDave]

Ooh, that's a good one. And if you try the door handle just to check that its locked properly, the bloody car will sense the fob and unlock it. No one, anywhere, ever asked for this to be invented.

Except car thieves...

 

[mistyoptic]

Ooh, that's a good one. And if you try the door handle just to check that its locked properly, the bloody car will sense the fob and unlock it. No one, anywhere, ever asked for this to be invented.

Try washing the bloody thing with the gadget in your pocket 🤬

lock - unlock- lock... grrr!

 

[Alex H]

Ooh, that's a good one. And if you try the door handle just to check that its locked properly, the bloody car will sense the fob and unlock it. No one, anywhere, ever asked for this to be invented.

And if your wife leaves her's in her bag in the car, while you have yours in your hand, you can't lock the car

 

[classic33]

Ah, but technology...

Copied from Robert H. Goddard's work though.

When Von Braun was questioned about his expertise, he said he learnt from the expert on the subject. Even using some of his designs.

 

[classic33]

It was supposed to be a 'terror weapon' arriving as it did with no warning noise to let people take cover, luckily the Nazis couldn't make that many of them due to their imminent defeat.
It was also the prototype for the rocket designed to carry their atomic bomb but again luckily they hadn't time to develop that either, thank God the Russians and their weather defeated them in Hitlers attempts to secure the Oilfields. But for his incompetence they could have won.

And mosquito attacks!

 

[Captain Sensible]

Rylan thingee on Radio 2 on Saturday afternoon going on about his mom

 

[Captain Sensible]

Football pundits talking gibberish, they either won or lost, simple

 

[VelvetUnderpants]

Birmingham City FC - An utterly pointless tin pot club that has and always will live in Aston Villa's shadow, better to put the poor buggers who support Small Heath out of their misery and convert St Andrews into a Peaky Blinders theme park, therefore allowing them to move over from the dark side and see the light

 

[stephec]

I've just picked up a hire car, and I'd like to add those... things... I don't even know what to call them. You need to keep it on your person and it automatically unlocks the car when you get close, and locks it when you walk away.

Why? What was wrong with a key?

Then they tell me not to leave it in the car... yet it's a small credit card sized plastic thing and there's a special place to put it - in the central console of the bloody car! Are they trying to catch me out or what?

And don't get me started on the lack of a flipping handbrake.

I had a company car with a key card and I liked it, it had a button on it so that I could make sure that it was locked as I walked away, but I always left it in my pocket when I got into the car and just pressed the start button.

One day I walked out of a factory in Glasgow and opened my car boot, I put my tools in and drove off. Halfway down the M74 I could sense the card wasn't in my pocket so I rang the factory and asked them to check around where I'd been parked.

They couldn't find it, so I now didn't dare stop the car as I might not get it started again, but I had a four hour journey home.

I pulled into Gretna services as I knew I'd need a break and got out of the car to stretch my legs (leaving the engine running) and for some reason decided to check in the boot, there on the boot floor was my key card.

What followed was similar to the scene in Fawlty Towers Gourmet Night when Basil abuses his Mini with a tree branch. 😂

That car also had an electronic handbrake, so no more going on Tesco's car park in the snow and pulling handbrake turns.

 

[raleighnut]

Scunthorpe and Grimsby, terrible names.
On the other hand Enderby and sub villages Bag Enderby and Mavis Enderby. Top names and lots of Enderbys still live there!

I'm from Enderby, in Leicestershire.