Threevok
Growing old disgracefully
- Location
- South Wales
Cliff Richard's real name is Dick Escarpment
Odd factoids
- Thread starter Blue Hills
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Dick was terrible at athletics during his school days. Indeed, henwas such a slow runner that he was nicknamed Escago Escarpment by the chap who handed out the towels in the boys showers.
The humiliation at being such a slowcoach caused Cliff to razz around everywhere on roller skates, as can be seen in the wired for sound video. The skates also meant that he was able to outrun Mr Glitter when he started flicking the boys behinds with wet towels.
The humiliation at being such a slowcoach caused Cliff to razz around everywhere on roller skates, as can be seen in the wired for sound video. The skates also meant that he was able to outrun Mr Glitter when he started flicking the boys behinds with wet towels.
roubaixtuesday
self serving virtue signaller
The word Escargot, literally "cargo carrier" comes from neolithic France, when giant, horse sized snails were used as beasts of burden.
Naturally, they were also a ready source of protein and the cause of the traditional French three hour lunch. Why? Well. Would you be in a hurry to eat when faced with a portion of horse sized gastropod?
Naturally, they were also a ready source of protein and the cause of the traditional French three hour lunch. Why? Well. Would you be in a hurry to eat when faced with a portion of horse sized gastropod?
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
The original gastropods were fearsome creatures that, due to the armour like shell were oblivious to pain, and resulted in the description of tough guys being as hard as snails.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Gastropods were so named because they ate nothing but testicles.
Similarly, Santa Pod was named after one of Father Christmas' testicles.
Similarly, Santa Pod was named after one of Father Christmas' testicles.
roubaixtuesday
self serving virtue signaller
Podcasting was the ritual discarding of testicles into the river Ganges by Indian transsexuals as the first part of their transitioning process. The sound of their agony was audible for miles around.
The concept of being heard far away was then reinvented for the Internet age with the modern podcast.
The concept of being heard far away was then reinvented for the Internet age with the modern podcast.
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
The nearby mountains, and the mistakes made in transitioning the wrong person led to the term oh eck oh eck oh echo.
ClichéGuevara
Legendary Member
- Location
- Kingston upon the River Hull
Way back in time, before industrialisation, sounds would travel much further, and according to ancient texts, it was even possible to hear the sounds in space that we're only just detecting with hi-tech equipment.
Most planets hum at a very low frequency, and our nearest neighbour makes a noise like cattle lowing, hence the Latin name for the moon being Luna, which means bear, and the Brit's having no bears, calling it the Moo. It's the origin of the theory that the moon was made of cheese.
Most planets hum at a very low frequency, and our nearest neighbour makes a noise like cattle lowing, hence the Latin name for the moon being Luna, which means bear, and the Brit's having no bears, calling it the Moo. It's the origin of the theory that the moon was made of cheese.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Sound was invented as a means of avoiding the exhorbitantly priced tv licence. The tv licence was introduced by the BBC's lefty director general, Adolf Hitler, in 1992.
People were jolly upset at paying 400 reichmarks a year, so sound was invented to permit the usage of radio, and thus entertainment without a tv licence.
The sudden loss of income caused serious problems for the Beeb, and with the new right wing primeminister, Josef Stalin, beingnon the verge of abolishing the licence altogether Hitler rebranded the organisation as a cuddly, woke, Guardian reading pastiche of itself.
People were jolly upset at paying 400 reichmarks a year, so sound was invented to permit the usage of radio, and thus entertainment without a tv licence.
The sudden loss of income caused serious problems for the Beeb, and with the new right wing primeminister, Josef Stalin, beingnon the verge of abolishing the licence altogether Hitler rebranded the organisation as a cuddly, woke, Guardian reading pastiche of itself.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The original attempt by the Guarsian to introduce a page 3 almost ended in tears and a prison sentence, when the topless image of Jeremy Corbyn was published.
It was later to transpire that this was not the ill judged wheeze it seemed. Prior to the publication the Guardian had bought shares in the UK's leading alcohol and tranquiliser suppliers, and made a fortune from traumatised readers desperate to unsee that which had been seen.
It was later to transpire that this was not the ill judged wheeze it seemed. Prior to the publication the Guardian had bought shares in the UK's leading alcohol and tranquiliser suppliers, and made a fortune from traumatised readers desperate to unsee that which had been seen.
twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Should've invested in mind bleach
Ming the Merciless
There is no mercy
- Location
- Inside my skull
The sound barrier is a great reef off the coast of India
roubaixtuesday
self serving virtue signaller
The Mackem number is capacity of an average police cell in Sunderland.
