Odd factoids

[raleighnut]

He'd now bottle that and sell it as Duchy Originals fertiliser for £250 a poop

FTFY

 

[raleighnut]

It is technically illegal in the UK to 'state' your date of birth, as you are not in a position to provide first hand evidence. Generally, the information on that date is provided by people that have been proven to have lied about many other things, such as santa claus and the tooth fairy.

Is that why I was always taller than anyone in my class.

 

[Drago]

The Nanny State gets its name from when Benito Mussolini's nanny became Primeminister in 1994.

 

[PeteXXX]

The 'Date of Birth' is not considered accurate enough for some government departments.
A more definite time is necessitated by the midwife noting the time that the babies head pops out.

 

[Drago]

In the old days babies heads used to pop out of the midwife. Sadly, this left them with a short career before they got too worn out, so in 1949 the rules were changed so the baby popped out of the mothers instead.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

"Call the midwife" was a childrens game in the 1930s.

Children had to shout the worst expletives they could at the local midwife, and the first one to get caught and belted lost.

 

[Profpointy]

In all the history of cafés and restaurants, no one has ever ordered an alligator sandwich and told the waiter to make it snappy..

There was a restaurant who claimed to stock every kind of meat. A skeptical customer asked for an elephant ear sandwich. The waiter conceded that he couldn't oblige. "Ha!" said the customer, "I knew you'd not have elephant ears". "Oh, we have elephant ears but we've run out of the giant buns"

 

[Tribansman]

Giant buns' doughy, bouncy consistency is due to the addition of silicone just before baking. The recipe was pioneered by Hugh Hefner, who accompanied his first batch with phwoar gras

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The first World War is widely, and falsely believed to be caused by the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.

It was actually due to a magnetic sexual attraction and failure of communication between George V and Kaiser Bill.

On meeting the Kaiser, and compelled by his irresistible moustache, George said to his batman in a state of sexual excitement, "It's Phwoar!". Alas, the Kaiser overheard but misheard as "It's War", and the rest is history.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Kaiser Bill is a dreaded disease of ducks. No cure I'm afraid

 

[roubaixtuesday]

No cure I'm afraid

Not even from a quack?

 

[ClichéGuevara]

The first World War is widely, and falsely believed to be caused by the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.

It was actually due to a magnetic sexual attraction and failure of communication between George V and Kaiser Bill.

On meeting the Kaiser, and compelled by his irresistible moustache, George said to his batman in a state of sexual excitement, "It's Phwoar!". Alas, the Kaiser overheard but misheard as "It's War", and the rest is history.

There was much debate about naming the various wars, as the sequel wasn't as grand as the first one, so calling it the 'not so Great War, or 'the fairly average War' were seen as sub-optimal, hence World War One and World War Two were chosen, even though much of the World wasn't involved.

 

[Tribansman]

Ducks and frogs have collaborated to create a white, powdery drug from lillies. Quack Croakaine has a particularly toxic effect on Teal, putting them in a fowl mood and creating billinquency. As for waddle they do toe eradicate the problem, community Eiders have discussed putting a bill before parliament

 

[ClichéGuevara]

Whilst many ducks are born from an egg incubated by the parents on a nest, Somateria, such as the Eider are actually incubated in podiform serpentine-hosted paramagmatic iron oxide-chromite deposits.

It's an eider ore situation.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

There was a subculture of drug abuse amongst railway workers in the early 20th century many of whom would "mainline" Quack Croakaine.

Numerous names on the system were changed to celebrate this, notably "High" Wycombe Station, and, notoriously, the "Mallard", breaker of the "World Speed record" when over 100 people were simulaneously off their tits on amphetamines and Quack Croakaine.