There really ain't a cure for Stupid, is there...I didn't know whether to put this here or in the Any Good Jokes... thread. However, this isn't a joke. The person who told my wife this was absolutely, one hundred per cent serious. I suggested it may have been a wind-up, but my wife says that this is only the latest theory she's heard from this person.
Apparently, the reason for the two national lockdowns is that the government needed to change the batteries in the country's pigeons.
Yes, you read that right. Battery-powered pigeons.
You see, the nation's pigeons are really surveillance drones to spy on the populace, particularly any foreigners (there was no definition of 'foreigner', however having heard of this person's opinions previously it could be anyone they don't like / 'not like us'). This is why there are so many pigeons in Trafalgar Square where spies from the various foreign embassies meet clandestinely. Also, why you see so many pigeons perching on window ledges. The pigeons record the meetings and send them to the government.
The government thought they had recalled all the pigeons for the installation of new batteries in the first lockdown, but they missed a few and there were a few faulty hence the second lockdown.
The good news is that all battery installations were successful so there should be no third lockdown.
'So what about the new tiered system?', my wife asked.
Well, that's to control the people and so the government knows where everyone is.
Presumably, so they can send the pigeons to watch us.
I laughed myself silly when my wife told me.
I didn't know whether to put this here or in the Any Good Jokes... thread. However, this isn't a joke. The person who told my wife this was absolutely, one hundred per cent serious. I suggested it may have been a wind-up, but my wife says that this is only the latest theory she's heard from this person.
Apparently, the reason for the two national lockdowns is that the government needed to change the batteries in the country's pigeons.
Yes, you read that right. Battery-powered pigeons.
You see, the nation's pigeons are really surveillance drones to spy on the populace, particularly any foreigners (there was no definition of 'foreigner', however having heard of this person's opinions previously it could be anyone they don't like / 'not like us'). This is why there are so many pigeons in Trafalgar Square where spies from the various foreign embassies meet clandestinely. Also, why you see so many pigeons perching on window ledges. The pigeons record the meetings and send them to the government.
The government thought they had recalled all the pigeons for the installation of new batteries in the first lockdown, but they missed a few and there were a few faulty hence the second lockdown.
The good news is that all battery installations were successful so there should be no third lockdown.
'So what about the new tiered system?', my wife asked.
Well, that's to control the people and so the government knows where everyone is.
Presumably, so they can send the pigeons to watch us.
I laughed myself silly when my wife told me.
wow what a milestone! congrats!Completely mundane news for everyone except me: my Christmas present to myself this year was to pay off what remained of my mortgage. With interest rates so low it's not worth saving so as of this afternoon the pile of bricks, cement and tiles I call 'home' is all mine.As a result I'll have £500 a month less expenses. Wonder how many bikes I can get?
A radioactive isotope no doubt...
Maybe that's where coovid comes from....
Better than me - just 50 miles this morning. But then I did have to be back home as I'd been asked to listen in to an online presentation ahead of Brexit for the second day running.
What a good idea. Don't mind if I do.
Nothing more than a variation of an old story,I didn't know whether to put this here or in the Any Good Jokes... thread. However, this isn't a joke. The person who told my wife this was absolutely, one hundred per cent serious. I suggested it may have been a wind-up, but my wife says that this is only the latest theory she's heard from this person.
Apparently, the reason for the two national lockdowns is that the government needed to change the batteries in the country's pigeons.
Yes, you read that right. Battery-powered pigeons.
You see, the nation's pigeons are really surveillance drones to spy on the populace, particularly any foreigners (there was no definition of 'foreigner', however having heard of this person's opinions previously it could be anyone they don't like / 'not like us'). This is why there are so many pigeons in Trafalgar Square where spies from the various foreign embassies meet clandestinely. Also, why you see so many pigeons perching on window ledges. The pigeons record the meetings and send them to the government.
The government thought they had recalled all the pigeons for the installation of new batteries in the first lockdown, but they missed a few and there were a few faulty hence the second lockdown.
The good news is that all battery installations were successful so there should be no third lockdown.
'So what about the new tiered system?', my wife asked.
Well, that's to control the people and so the government knows where everyone is.
Presumably, so they can send the pigeons to watch us.
I laughed myself silly when my wife told me.
