Levo-Lon
Guru
The bad weather is officially here
It certainly is ,its been pouring down for ages and the easterly wind is freezing cold .
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It certainly is ,its been pouring down for ages and the easterly wind is freezing cold .
Levo-Lon
Guru
extruded to the point of taking the pee
Further to my previous:
My wife left a couple of bits of marzipan lying around "accidentally". A dollop in the mixer, and a ball on the worktop. Naturally, despite being caught and punished earlier, I ate them. But that isn't the end of the story...........
...............it turns out they were decoys. They were left out to throw me off the scent. I was supposed to think that that was the sum total of the spare marzipan. Well, I've been years at this game, and I'm not going to fall for that ruse. I quietly (my wife was in the adjacent room) turned the kitchen upside down, and found nothing, but lo and behold, when I took a similar methodical approach to the utility room, there it was!! Wrapped up in foil alongside the shoe polish and bird nuts in the upper cupboard!! How much could I get away with eating (it was bigger than a cricket ball)?
Sod it. I ate half, and moulded the rest into a smaller ball. I won't get away with it.
My wife left a couple of bits of marzipan lying around "accidentally". A dollop in the mixer, and a ball on the worktop. Naturally, despite being caught and punished earlier, I ate them. But that isn't the end of the story...........
...............it turns out they were decoys. They were left out to throw me off the scent. I was supposed to think that that was the sum total of the spare marzipan. Well, I've been years at this game, and I'm not going to fall for that ruse. I quietly (my wife was in the adjacent room) turned the kitchen upside down, and found nothing, but lo and behold, when I took a similar methodical approach to the utility room, there it was!! Wrapped up in foil alongside the shoe polish and bird nuts in the upper cupboard!! How much could I get away with eating (it was bigger than a cricket ball)?
Sod it. I ate half, and moulded the rest into a smaller ball. I won't get away with it.
........Ffs love people will think the air bag has gone off!!!
This is what you thought of saying, but didn't, right? Not out loud. I mean, you'd be on a ventilator otherwise.
deptfordmarmoset
Full time tea drinker
- Location
- Armonmy Way
I'm having a night in with a night tin nigh. As it's a 2 US pint tin and 9% it should do the business.
classic33
Leg End Member
Now what you do, is get an old thermocouple, a small battery and a LED. Insert all into whats left, using the marzipan to hide the button battery.
Then you risk life and limb to safely defuse and dispose of the remainder. Emerging the hero in all this.
You might even have some more bought for your bravery.
deptfordmarmoset
Full time tea drinker
- Location
- Armonmy Way
Don't you think he's in enough trouble already?
classic33
Leg End Member
He enters the room it's in, balloon in pocket. Inflates the balloon before bursting it.
Resulting "controlled explosion" has left no traces behind. He's had the rest.
Banned item on commercial flights
https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowT...Marzipan_and_airport_security-Air_Travel.html
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roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
deptfordmarmoset
Full time tea drinker
- Location
- Armonmy Way
Remember, not stolen, Stollen....
roadrash
cycle chatterer
- Location
- sitting on the edge of wigan pier
I meant after hes been found out, obviously admit nothing until he has no other choice, I mean it could have been the great Suffolk marzipan burglars or summat like that
LeetleGreyCells
Un rouleur infatigable
- Location
- Whitehaven Mansions
“It wasn’t me, it was the one-armed man!”