I think that there is also an art in giving directions, I have loss count of the times when I have asked a passer by for directions and I end up listening to their entire life story.
Me...Excuse me please, could you tell me how to get to the nearest café.
Them....are you from around here
Me...No
Them...Okay, go back the way you came and you will come to a little white house that's owned by my friend Doris, then take a left and keep going until you come to a set of lights, be careful at those lights because they change quick and there have been a number of accidents there, my son had a nasty crash there, he called me one night and said, mum, you'll never guess what happened to me, oh my, I thought he's only gone and had another crash, mind you I blame his wife, she is always on at him, I said that they shouldn't of got married but would he listen..........yap yap yap, drone drone, drone.....white noise.