Making your own porn film

[papercorn2000]

I'm not sure that the story line is that important.

A story line is essential. A poor plot would render the film unwatchable!

 

[domtyler]

Give dom 50 lashes, Patrick? For free? What sort of charity do you think I am...

Hang about, I've got cash on me somewhere... Ah here we go, will a fiver do it?

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Hang about, I've got cash on me somewhere... Ah here we go, will a fiver do it?

A fiver? Arch won't even open the cat o' nine tails cupboard for that.

 

[Cathryn]

Direct rather than star in it yourself. My brother's mate's father went AWOL during a period of mid-life crisis and returned home after nine months gave his mother a STD and then confessed to having starred in a number of low budget porn films.

With my innocent mind, how do you give your MOTHER an std?????

 

[Arch]

Hang about, I've got cash on me somewhere... Ah here we go, will a fiver do it?

10p a lash? Is that the going rate round your way?

 

[KitsuneAndy]

With my innocent mind, how do you give your MOTHER an std?????

His dad gave his mum an std, not the son.

 

[Cathryn]

Oh thank goodness!!!

 

[ufkacbln]

Cue discussion on cadence and "gear inches"

From a personal point of view - I find that a 108" at a slow cadence is more popular than a 20" at a faster cadence!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Cue discussion on cadence and "gear inches"

From a personal point of view - I find that a 108" at a slow cadence is more popular than a 20" at a faster cadence!

That's beginners' preference. Experienced practioners prefer quite the reverse.

 

[Johnny Thin]

Making a porn film, Patrick? PM me and I'll be happy to send you some of my webcam sessions. The RSPCA have got nothing on me as the pig has since been made into bacon.

 

[mr_hippo]

with bonj the village idiot

Not practical. The people at V.I.M.T.O. (Village Idiots, Munchkins and Trolls Organisation) will never sanction an unqualified idiot to take part in such a film. However when he pays for and completes the last two lessons, he will become a J.E.R.K. (Just Enough Real Knowledge). On passing his first exam, he will be able to use the title (legally) of Ass.H.O.L.E. (Assistant Half baked Off the wall Loco Eejit.
However we have sanctioned his walk-on appearance in "Everything I Know about the Randomness of Bicycles"

 

[stephec]

10p a lash? Is that the going rate round your way?

That's excellent value, I'd expect to pay a lot more than that round Kings Cross.

Is you're diary full at the moment, or are you taking advance bookings?

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Making a porn film, Patrick? PM me and I'll be happy to send you some of my webcam sessions. The RSPCA have got nothing on me as the pig has since been made into bacon.

And I bet no one in Brierley Hill High Street was worried about why it was so cheap.

 

[andy_wrx]

Presumably thought there was just a bit too much apple sauce...?

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Presumably thought there was just a bit too much apple sauce...?

This prompted me to think of something really disgusting, but I realised that it would probably put forummers of their lunch.