Lyrics that make you cringe

[Red17]

While its hard to imagine Otway, the man who wrote "Beware of the Flowers" could write something awfull "Bunsen Burner" comes close

I′m an Alchemist baby
I can turn heavy metal ... into gold
I can make unstable compounds of mercury explode
I can make you glow
I can make you phosphoresce
I can burst your bubble
I can make you effervesce
Science tells you love
Is just a chemical reaction in the brain
Let me be your bunsen burner baby
Let me be your naked flame
You're going to turn bright red
When I do my litmus test on you
Acid it was, acid it is
And what acid was true
Check out what′s in the test tube baby
You're my little pipette
The favourite piece of apparatus
In my chemistry set
Science tells you love
Is just a chemical reaction in the brain
Let me be your bunsen burner baby
Let me be your naked flame
You're the kind of carbon I can date
You′re the element that makes me passionate
There′s a chemistry experiment
I want to try in my brain
So come close to the Bunsen Burner
Feel the Heat of the naked flame

 

[matticus]

I believe the naff lyrics in Abba songs was because they wanted to accommodate speakers of different languages, or at least, make it easier for people to understand/sing along to, hence why a lot of it was very simple, repetitive, rhyming and poetic, phonetic even maybe and just a little bit daft at times.
I mean, if you were, say, a kid who didn't really understand English, if at all, then, well, you could still sing along or at least learn to imitate it easily. That's beautiful and something they didn't have to do.

Exactly - well put!

(although the Glasgow thing is just abominable - I'm only excusing that because of their huge body of other perfectly OK lyrics. Even in the same song.)

 

[Dogtrousers]

While its hard to imagine Otway, the man who wrote "Beware of the Flowers" could write something awfull "Bunsen Burner" comes close

I′m an Alchemist baby
I can turn heavy metal ... into gold
I can make unstable compounds of mercury explode
I can make you glow
I can make you phosphoresce
I can burst your bubble
I can make you effervesce
Science tells you love
Is just a chemical reaction in the brain
Let me be your bunsen burner baby
Let me be your naked flame
You're going to turn bright red
When I do my litmus test on you
Acid it was, acid it is
And what acid was true
Check out what′s in the test tube baby
You're my little pipette
The favourite piece of apparatus
In my chemistry set
Science tells you love
Is just a chemical reaction in the brain
Let me be your bunsen burner baby
Let me be your naked flame
You're the kind of carbon I can date
You′re the element that makes me passionate
There′s a chemistry experiment
I want to try in my brain
So come close to the Bunsen Burner
Feel the Heat of the naked flame

I bought goodness knows how many copies of that as part of the (successful) operation to boost it in the charts and get him a second hit.

According to Wild Willy Barrett, Otway's worst song was a spy related song inspired by Elton John's Nikita. It was called Natasha.

Natasha, you're a smasher
But you're working for Russia

Ooops I seem to have wandered off topic into the subject of lyrics of sheer genius.

 

[Red17]

I bought goodness knows how many copies of that as part of the (successful) operation to boost it in the charts and get him a second hit

As he always says, putting the s on the correct side of hit

 

[glasgowcyclist]

What’s the problem with using Glasgow as a rhyme for “last show”?
I don’t understand the reaction.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by Middle of the Road:

Last night I heard my mother singing this song
Oo wee, chirpy chirpy cheep cheep
Woke up this morning and my mama was gone
Oo wee, chirpy chirpy cheep cheep
Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep chirpy

Could they understand how traumatising these lyrics are to a four-year-old?

 

[DRM]

We would all be on the highway to hell if those lyrics were acceptable.

They actually make perfect sense, it's about the Canning Highway, from Perth to Fremantle, with most of Bon Scott's favourite watering holes on it, including the Raffles Hotel, and apparrently there are no stop signs or speed limits, nothing at all to do with Beelzebub, as the American Satanic Panic Brigade would have you believe