Lyrics that make you cringe

[Beebo]

Shakespeare's Sister?

They confused me, because there were two of them.
A bit like the Thompson Twins with 3 members.

 

[Profpointy]

The whole of "I've never been to me" by Charlene is a train crash as far as I am concerned, but the worst verse went thus:

Sometimes I've been to crying
For unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life I never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring
The subtle whoring
That costs too much to be free

That seems to be a deeply felt loss expressed in poetry, so a bit of a heartless and shallow dismissal.

I'd never heard of the lady but found that moving and tragic

 

[Accy cyclist]

Billy Joel - Piano Man.

I remember now, it was on the radio, not on a CD.

 

[Yellow Fang]

That seems to be a deeply felt loss expressed in poetry, so a bit of a heartless and shallow dismissal.

I'd never heard of the lady but found that moving and tragic

I heard a radio DJ criticise this song, several decades after it was televised on Top of the Pops. There was a lyric that went something like, "I've seen things a woman is not supposed to see." The DJ said what would that be, a complete series of Red Dwarf. When the song played on TOTP, the boys at school made a few critical comments about it the next day.

 

[Animo]

Each time I see a little girl
Of five, or six, or seven
I can't resist the joyous urge
To smile and say
Thank Heaven for little girls
For little girls
Get bigger everyday
Thank Heaven for little girls
They grow up
In the most delightful way
Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
One day will flash
And send you crashing through the ceiling
Thank Heaven for little girls
Thank Heaven for them all
No matter where
No matter who
Without them what would little boys do?
Thank Heaven
Thank Heaven
Thank Heaven
For little girls

 

[Pblakeney]

This belongs in the WTF! section.

I've been waiting every night after school
For five long years
I'll keep waiting for you five nights a week
Cuz i'm no good
Ooo- rockin' and a rollin'
Reelin' 'til the juke box breaks
Ooo- reelin' and a rockin'
Rollin' 'til the juke box breaks down
I'm thirty but i feel like sixteeen
I might even be your daddy
I'm dirty but my body is clean
I might even be you daddy
Ooo- rockin' and a rollin'
Reelin' 'til the juke box breaks
Ooo- reelin' and a rockin'
Rollin' 'til the juke box breaks
I like you -you like me? yes?
Sorry that i had to gag you
You look better completely undressed
Sorry but i had to have you
I like you -you like me? yes?
Sorry that i had to gag you
You look better completely undressed
Sorry but i had to have you
I'm thirty but i feel like sixteeen
I might even be your daddy
I'm thinking more than a kiss
Whip me, spank me, grab me

 

[Yellow Fang]

Prince Buster - The Ten Commandments.
(this was still being played in a DJ set in 2022)

The Ten Commandments from man given to woman
Through the inspiration of I, Prince Buster

One, thou shall have no other man but me

Two, thou shall not encourage no man to make love to you
Neither kiss nor caress you
For I am your man, a very jealous man
And is ready to lay low any other man that may intrude in our love

Three, remember to kiss and caress me
Honor and obey me, in my every whim and fancy
Seven days a week and twice on Sundays
Because at no time will I ever be tired of I-T, it

Four, Honor my name so that every other woman may honor it also

Five, thou shall not provoke me to anger
Or my wrath will descend upon you heavily

Commandment Six, thou shall not search my pockets at night
Or annoy me with your hearsays

Commandment Seven, thou shall not shout my name in the streets
If I'm walking with another woman
But wait intelligently until I come home
Then we both can have it out decently
For I am your man, a funny man
And detest a scandal in public places

Commandment Eight, thou shall not drink, nor smoke
Nor use profane language
For those bad habits I will not stand for

Nine, thou shall not commit adultery
For the world will not hold me guilty if I commit murder

Ten, thou shall not covet thy neighbor's dress
Nor her shoes, nor her bureau, nor her bed, nor her hat
Nor anything that's hers
Neither shall thou call my attention to anything that may be for sale
In any stores, for I will not give thee anything but what
You actually need for your purpose

Those are the Ten Commandments given from man to woman
By me, Prince Buster

I was thinking Prince Buster. The stuff that bloke sang!

 

[Homers Double]

Fairytale in New York. An absolute crock of dhi7e if I ever heard one.

 

[Beebo]

I was thinking Prince Buster. The stuff that bloke sang!

He sounds like a nice guy.
At least he’s warned any woman who is mad enough to go near him.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Some of ABBA's lyrics were a bit off. For instance:
Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen.
Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine.

I suppose 17 is old enough, although not in all states, as Prince Andrew found to his cost. However, tambourine - I always felt that was one of the lamest instruments you could play. It the sort of instrument you would give the backing singers to give them something to do when they weren't singing, or to the dancers to make him or her look like he/she was contributing to the music. The only instrument that was lamer was the triangle, or maybe the spoons, or a comb with a bit of greaseproof paper over it.

"I was sick and tired of everything, when I called you last night from Glasgow."
Glasgow, what on earth was he doing in Glasgow? Welding a frigate, slashing a rival football fan with a razor blade, attending a conference on glue sniffing. Maybe Glasgow sounds exotic to Swedes, but I might have gone for Oslo or Malmo.

 

[Seevio]

Glasgow, what on earth was he doing in Glasgow?

As quoted, the lyrics suggest that whatever it was, they were sick and tired of it. Not having visited the place, I can't say if this a normal state when in the city.

 

[lazybloke]

As quoted, the lyrics suggest that whatever it was, they were sick and tired of it. Not having visited the place, I can't say if this a normal state when in the city.

Could have sung about Leatherhead then. Thankfully Bjorn had standards.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Could have sung about Leatherhead then. Thankfully Bjorn had standards.

Don't be silly, it wouldn't scan. Dorking would though. And you could fit Leatherhead in elsewhere.

"I was sick and tired of Leatherhead
When I called you last night from Dorking "

See. Lyrics fixed.

 

[lazybloke]

Don't be silly, it wouldn't scan. Dorking would though. And you could fit Leatherhead in elsewhere.

"I was sick and tired of Leatherhead
When I called you last night from Dorking "

See. Lyrics fixed.

Shhh, you're giving away the 45th anniversary surprise rewrite and rerelease!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Some of ABBA's lyrics were a bit off. For instance:
Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen.
Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine.

I suppose 17 is old enough, although not in all states, as Prince Andrew found to his cost. However, tambourine - I always felt that was one of the lamest instruments you could play. It the sort of instrument you would give the backing singers to give them something to do when they weren't singing, or to the dancers to make him or her look like he/she was contributing to the music. The only instrument that was lamer was the triangle, or maybe the spoons, or a comb with a bit of greaseproof paper over it.

I believe the naff lyrics in Abba songs was because they wanted to accommodate speakers of different languages, or at least, make it easier for people to understand/sing along to, hence why a lot of it was very simple, repetitive, rhyming and poetic, phonetic even maybe and just a little bit daft at times.
I mean, if you were, say, a kid who didn't really understand English, if at all, then, well, you could still sing along or at least learn to imitate it easily. That's beautiful and something they didn't have to do.

Had they just sung in Swedish, they would not have had the success they had, so they did the opposite.

So, yes, it was meant to be accessible to all and when set to good music, it's not difficult to see why they are still popular, even now. 😎

I presume that a number of other songs will be in a similar vein, especially with international artists.

"I was sick and tired of everything, when I called you last night from Glasgow."
Glasgow, what on earth was he doing in Glasgow? Welding a frigate, slashing a rival football fan with a razor blade, attending a conference on glue sniffing. Maybe Glasgow sounds exotic to Swedes, but I might have gone for Oslo or Malmo.

Oi, less of the glue ya dobber! 🤣

As for Glasgow, not sure, but maybe because it was easy to say (see above)? 🤷‍♂️

As quoted, the lyrics suggest that whatever it was, they were sick and tired of it. Not having visited the place, I can't say if this a normal state when in the city.

I used to love the place and yes, the centre is nice... During the day... In nice weather... But then I grew up and now it depresses even me, especially after experiencing the homeless element at night.
It was horrible and I wasn't even homeless myself. Those poor poor sods! It is a situation I hope never to be in, especially during the winter.

London is another city I used to love, but...