Living with someone from another culture

[Drago]

And ironic @Drago that in a thread about cross cultural relationships and stereotypes you go there.

Ah, I've hit a raw nerve. Don't worry me old mucker, not only do I respect your diversity choices, but your secret is safe with me

 

[HobbesOnTour]

Ah, I've hit a raw nerve. Don't worry me old mucker, your secret is safe with me

No. You're being humorous about something I don't find funny at all. And doubling down on it.

 

[Blue Hills]

Have a good look in the mirror
I describe a situation as genuinely frightening and you want details?

Well of course Mr Hobbes.
All human life is on cyclechat.
Who needs soaps?
Up to you of course if you tell the tale - I guess you won't.
All the best.
Maybe I should start a bad dates thread - a certain other female lead place used to have a very good one - by turns funny/horrifying.

 

[Blue Hills]

No. You're being humorous about something I don't find funny at all. And doubling down on it.

Chill Mr Hobbes, there's no I'll will or malice here.
And no one is going to snitch, 1 as they are nice people, 2 as they know nowt.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I am not sure if we are overcomplicating things. Someone from another culture is not an alien. The concept of union whether by formal marriage or just a relationship is the same across cultures.

How often have we heard stories of couples within the same community and culture parting ways because of incompatibility, lack of communication, supposed personality change to other challenges. Or the love just fizzled out.

Some of the difficulties mentioned in this thread applies to partners within the same community. If you and the other person are really in a relationship, don't worry what others think. Just go for it. If it does not work, it is not the end of the World. If both of you are rational individuals you will know to move on from it. At least you tried.

 

[yello]

The concept of union whether by formal marriage or just a relationship is the same across cultures.

I guess that depends how you define 'union'. I think you'd need a pretty broad definition if it was genuinely going to include all cultures, and forget notions of equality in some cases. And then perhaps forget notions of recognition if we start talking about gay union.

But, yes, it's true to say that people form unions of some sort in varying cultures.

Shall we start addressing in poligamy now

 

[All uphill]

Just remembered an English friend who met and fell in love with someone who had English as a second language.

As they got to know each other it was clear the attraction was strong; they moved to the physical side of their burgeoning relationship.

At the critical moment the non-English speaker shrieked "I'm going, I'm going!"

My friend's laughter put a bit of a strain on the love affair.

 

[yello]

At the critical moment the non-English speaker shrieked "I'm going, I'm going!"
My friend's laughter put a bit of a strain on the love affair.

I thought it was one of those unwritten rules that one never commented on ones lover's petit mort - in any language or culture

 

[Pat "5mph"]

To my way of thinking there's only one way to find out - jump in there and give it our best shot.

Yes, most of us did this in our younger years.
Would we jump in there again, though?

When I see something like "I could never have a relationship with a X", I feel a little sad.

Well, at a certain time of life, unless one is self deceiving, we know what we like, what we won't compromise on, what is toxic for us.
I am confident, at 58 years of age, to say "I could never have a relationship with a X" because I am self aware enough to know it wouldn't make me happy.

The concept of union whether by formal marriage or just a relationship is the same across cultures.

I strongly disagree
In my experience, of course.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I guess that depends how you define 'union'. I think you'd need a pretty broad definition if it was genuinely going to include all cultures, and forget notions of equality in some cases. And then perhaps forget notions of recognition if we start talking about gay union.

But, yes, it's true to say that people form unions of some sort in varying cultures.

Shall we start addressing in poligamy now

We might have to start another thread for polygamy as it is making a comeback.

I guess I am a romantic bloke and I do find people getting together a wonderful thing even if does not work in the end.

UK is considered by the Commonwealth as the place to go for quality tertiary education. So for generations it has led to cross cultural relationships. I still have university classmates after all these years going strong. I also have the classmates who regretted listening to their parents.

 

[rockyroller]

about a decade ago I tried my best to execute a switch, but my efforts went down in flames in spectacular fashion. so I remain with my partner with pretty much my exact same upbringing, background, culture & social stature. am I better off? I would say yes

 

[Once a Wheeler]

I would have thought that living with someone from the same culture would be a somewhat monotonous experience.

 

[HobbesOnTour]

Yes, most of us did this in our younger years.
Would we jump in there again, though?

Hmmmmm.
I suppose it could be argued that it's better to jump in there when we're older, more settled in our ways (therefore more needing a dose of something a bit different) and most likely to be more confident than in our youth.

A best of both worlds approach, perhaps?

Of course, it entirely depends on the personalities involved.

Well, at a certain time of life, unless one is self deceiving, we know what we like, what we won't compromise on, what is toxic for us.

Are you suggesting that I'm self deceiving? You wouldn't be the first!

At no stage am I advocating that we should have relationships with people we don't like or know we can't get along with. And certainly not toxic ones.

I stuck my oar in at the suggestion that a poster could never have any kind of a relationship with a far right Christian - a stereotype.
To me, that conjured up an image of a label being attached instantly to someone based on something they said or did. Or perhaps even where they come from.
Like I suggested earlier I'd hate to be labelled a cyclist in a lot of places in the world simply because someone saw me on my bike.
Of course they have a right to do it, though.

Behaviour, certainly, is reason enough not to go there. But a label? I'm not so sure.

The world seems to be becoming quicker and quicker at applying labels.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Are you suggesting that I'm self deceiving? You wouldn't be the first!

Not at all, lol, I didn't mean you in particular. Sorry if it came across this way

I stuck my oar in at the suggestion that a poster could never have any kind of a relationship with a far right Christian - a stereotype.
To me, that conjured up an image of a label being attached instantly to someone based on something they said or did. Or perhaps even where they come from.

I wouldn't go as far as labelling someone based on where they come from, even though I have experienced that most people of a certain age that come from certain countries behave in a certain way.
But, if it' something they said or did, make no mistake, this is who they are.
All the love in the world is not going to change a person's personality, imo.
One can self deceive in thinking love will conquer all, imo, but after 30 one should know better
On the by, you are a cyclist

 

[HobbesOnTour]

Not at all, lol, I didn't mean you in particular. Sorry if it came across this way

Don't be worrying yourself

On the by, you are a cyclist

Now it's war!!!!