Life, the universe, and everything

[Drago]

A boring, dull, wet day, as good a time as any to mull over a growing dilemma.

I spent most of my childhood some of my teen years, and a few of my early adult years on Shetland. I still own a house at Voe, and the plan was that when Mini D reached the age to graduate to big school then we'd sell the house in Poshshire and move back up there.

However, the equation is a little more complicated as Mrs D has MS, and her slowly deteriorating health is concerning. So, with one eye on the future I'm not sure that being so remote from the conveniences of modern life and major healthcare centres is a clever idea.

But, quite frankly, I hate people. The noise, dirt, bustle, it all grates on me terribly, so I still want to be out of the way.

In that vein I've been thinking of Skye, with good road links to the mainland. They're a clannish lot, but I'm used to that, and having done time in the northern isles I'll likely be less frowned upon than I might otherwise have been.

Bit what about the Scottish borders? Or Cumbria? Or Northumberland? Probably no further south that that or I'll likely become homicidal as the concentration of other humans increases.

So remote, unlikely to face major development in my lifetime, but with sensible transport links should the need arise for Mrs D to be hospitalised as she occasionally does (ie, no ferries or island hopping flights required).

I'll sen both houses so would have about half a mill cash, but don't want a mansion - 3 beds would be ample, and I can then put the rest into my savings, and what I don't spend is still there to help Mrs D if anything should happen to me.

Whaddya the good folks of CC reckon as a spot to be considering?

 

[welsh dragon]

I would be worried about being in such a remote location with Mrs D's problems.

Plenty of other areas and places where you can be on your own, but still have villages, towns and and neighbours if you want to talk.

I know some people don't like Wales but there are stunning areas, remote (ish) and where people leave you alone to do your own thing and dont bother or hassle you.

Good luck Drago.

 

[CharlesF]

I wouldn’t choose Skye, overrun with tourists. Shetland or Orkney will give you the life you’re seeking. Plus there’s the strong sense of community which will benefit Mrs D. I reckon you’ll find transport links are better than expected.

Don’t write either off until you have looked at both in-depth, I hope you will be pleasantly surprised.

And generally, good luck in finding the best of lives for both of you.

 

[Drago]

I started on Shetland, but a ferry or flight to Scotland every time Mrs D is Ill isn't sustainable. Tourists aren't insignificant in number there either, particularly around Lerwick and the southern half of Mainland.

Orkney has the same problems with local healthcare and transport links and are the worst of all the isles for the way they treat incomers. They really can be terrible. I'd forever be a ferry louper, and if they don't like you they'll only ever speak in Orkneyjar when you're around. I speak English, passable french, a little German, a few phrases of Gaelic, but the patois of Orkneyjar may as well be martian.

Needs to be the mainland, or an island connected by bridge.

Edit - to avoid confusion, "Mainland" is the term the locals use to describe the largest island in any Scottish island group. "THE Mainland" is Scotland itself.

 

[Slioch]

Skye's a long way from the big hospitals in Glasgow & Inverness, about 4 hrs by road, whereas Shetland has (by all accounts) a decent enough hospital in Lerwick. Maybe need to look into that aspect in a bit more depth to help inform the decision making process.

Skye's full of white-settlers (English), so there'll be plenty of people willing to give you the time of day (unless they belong to this Forum of course, in which case they'll give you a wide berth ).

 

[Drago]

Aye, I think some research into hospitals and facilities will be needed. Some parts of Skye are quite observant in the sense nothing opens on a Sunday and the place grinds to a halt until Monday, which is quite appealling.

 

[mudsticks]

Definitely worth researching the quality of MS services in the various areas you are considering

My own families experience has shown that these are in no way consistent countrywide.

I'd imagine your daughters social opportunities as she grows up might have some bearing on this too?? .

My kids got quite good at cycling as a result of living remotely, the bus services round here are thin on the ground, and very expensive.

That's a commonplace enough problem in country areas

 

[flake99please]

Crichton or Humbie... Ive passed through/stopped at both on bike rides in the past.

Nice & remote, yet close enough to ‘civilisation’ for hospital requirements.

 

[NorthernDave]

Northumberland is a fantastic place, almost as wonderful as Yorkshire, but while you'll still going somewhere remote but not cut off, there is a lot of development (relatively speaking) going on along the coast and most of it seems to be holiday homes.

There are small community hospitals that offer some services dotted about, the A&E trauma centre serving the area is in Cramlington just north of Newcastle - that's 40-odd miles from somewhere like Bamburgh, realistically over an hour away at best.

 

[crossfire]

I presume there is a MS sufferers forum? Try there to see how they rate services in the areas you are thinking of, it might be isolated but if the service is top notch... Find the best/better treatment centres and look for property near them. As has been said Wales is not popular, but their government seems to do its own thing regarding health, and parts are semi-isolated. Good luck with your search. My sister lives in Aus where the main hospital is over 90 k away, hour and a half drive on a good day, so I sympathise with the problem

 

[MontyVeda]

Stick yourself in the middle of the Yorkshire Dales or Bowland and you'll be as remote as you want to be yet within a two hour drive of Leeds, Bradford, Preston, Blackburn, Lancaster, Kendal, Harrogate, Darlington, etc...

 

[Domus]

Ribble Valley 👍

 

[tom73]

I totally get what you mean I often feel the same. It's fine balance but can be done with planning.
I don't the areas your looking well enough to give you ones to think about.
But on a practical level only you and Mrs D know what your needs are and what will work best and the level of care she is likely to need.
Start with a list of must haves and nice to have see what balance you can get from the two. Your GP should be able to help you with placers to find out what services are available.

Have a word with the MS society they should be able to put you in touch with a local branch.
Speak to the MS nurse they may well know a nurse in the area your looking at. They often meet others at events, and RCN stuff Mrs 73 got to know plenty that way.
Worth remembering the growing use of tele-health , remote monitoring via smart technology and the greater use of nurse practitioners and ANP ect will help minimise a few things and make it that bit more practical too.

Maybe pick a few placers book a place to stay and spend some of the time going the practical living stuff you don't normally do on holiday. It will only give a snap shot but give you practical idea what's possible.

Little D also needs to go away and think what she will want it all depends how big the social side is for her , having placers to go, stuff to do and. Then she will also have to think about how she feel about having to leave friends behind.
It will mean chargers how ever you do it. Mrs 73 was about the same age she will be when thinking about moving.
It effected her a lot moving away at an age when you're starting to grow life long friendships and starting to find your own way in world.
In some ways it's still effecting her and that was with moving to place with even more family around her.

In the end it will be up to all of you to be happy with your choice of new home. You will all have most haves it's just going to be a case of coming up with a list that you all can live with.

Good luck

 

[Saluki]

Beauly, near Inverness is lovely. Riding is ok. Nice rivers and wildlife. Short drive to Inverness and the Raigmore hospital (free parking). Anywhere on the Black Isle too. Small places, not over populated. I would suggest Struy, near Beauly, but that road past Aigas is a pain in heavy snow.

 

[swansonj]

As a couple of people have alluded to, where does Mini D feature in this? Socially, school-wise, and in terms of extra-curricular activities (opportunities for music, drama, sport)?

Edit, because that because needs more context to avoid seeming critical or loaded.

We brought our children up in the home counties; a relative with similar age children in a rural setting Up North. The trade off was, on the one hand, an upbringing with lots of opportunities for (in our case) orchestras and other music; on the other hand, an upbringing in rural friendliness, relaxation, and beauty. On the one hand, stultifying home counties snobbery, ambition, materialism, and competitiveness; on the other hand, vastly more limited social opportunities.

In my mind the jury is still out on which was the better choice.