Is getting jokes a man thing

[Bill Gates]

An old Billy Connolly joke I told my wife this morning:

The circus comes to Glasgow and one of the attractions is a Russian wrestler from the Steppes. A £1000 challenge to anyone who can last one round with Ivan the Terrible. Now Ivan has a fearsome reputation with mangled bodies strewn across Europe from previous challenges. He has two deadly holds the half prexel and the full prexel.

A Glaswegian jumps up, I'll do it he says and gets into the ring to the roar of the crowd. A cage is wheeled into the ring and in the cage is this horrible grunting monstrosity jumble of muscle veins and hair. With this Jimmy has 2nd thoughts but the crowd roar and the fight begins. Jimmy is doing OK and then there is a deadly hush as the half prexel is applied, and then oh no the full prexel. The crowd go silent and suddenly there is a mighty yell , Ivan goes flying into the air and falls unconscious into a heap.

The ringmaster gives him the money and says, you looked in trouble there for a minute. Yeah I know he said when he did that prexel thing I could feel the life draining out of me then suddenly there it was in front of me....... a big willy.........and I sunk my teeth right into it. You know it's amazing the strength you get when you bite our own willy.

Cue much laughter from me........A few seconds go by.... So the russian bit his own willy?


Let me explain....Oh never mind.

 

[Arch]

I got it.

So on the basis of one example, you've decided women don't get jokes? It might just be that your wife's not very quick. Or she might not have been paying attention fully. It's hardly the funniest gag I've ever heard.

 

[Noodley]

Maybe you're just really crap at telling jokes?

 

[Bill Gates]

I got it.

So on the basis of one example, you've decided women don't get jokes? It might just be that your wife's not very quick. Or she might not have been paying attention fully. It's hardly the funniest gag I've ever heard.

Cor what's your problem? This is supposed to be a lighthearted jibe. Hardly an excuse to get on your high horse.

This thread is supposed to be a bit of fun. Lighten up woman.

Not funny. I accept that whether or not a joke is funny is subjective. When I heard Billy Connolly tell it I can tell you it brought the house down.,

OK so you don't think it's funny. Why don't you tell us the funniest joke you've ever heard then? Come on give us a laugh!

 

[byegad]

Same circus and another Billy Connolly Joke.

Marvo the Lion tamer comes into the ring. After the usual and boring cracking of whips etc. the lion stands on a big table, lies down, rolls over....yawn..yawn.

Then Marvo puts his head in the lions mouth, the crowd applaud half heartedly so Marvo whips out his willy and lobs that in the lions mouth. The crowd start clapping a lot louder. Then, amid cries of 'No!' and. 'Don't do it!' he attempts to force the lion's mouth closed, still with his willy in its mouth.

The crowd goes wild and when the cheers and applause dies down the ring master offers £1000 for anyone in the crowd willing to do the same.

The same Gaswegian fortified by more than one can of 'Heavy' comes down to accept the challenge. The ring master concious of potential bad publicity if things go wrong attempts to talk the guy out of this.
'Are you sure you can do this?' he asks,
'A' have a wee reservation. says the drunk, '
'What's that?' asks the ring master.
'Well', says the drunk. 'A'm no sure I can open my mouth as wide as the lion's.'

 

[Arch]

Cor what's your problem? This is supposed to be a lighthearted jibe. Hardly an excuse to get on your high horse.

This thread is supposed to be a bit of fun. Lighten up woman.

Not funny. I accept that whether or not a joke is funny is subjective. When I heard Billy Connolly tell it I can tell you it brought the house down.,

OK so you don't think it's funny. Why don't you tell us the funniest joke you've ever heard then? Come on give us a laugh!

There's a huge difference between the atmosphere of a live Billy Connelly show, which will be definition be packed with people who find him funny (I do too, most of the time), and you sitting at the breakfast table or wherever...

I'm rubbish at jokes, something I'm happy to admit. Maybe you just are too? Perhaps your inflexion led her to believe there was a line still to come. Perhaps she just didn't get it. So why not just say "My wife doesn't get jokes!" instead of pulling out the tired old men/women divide? (and along the way, implying that men are therefore better than women).

Purely on the basis of typography, Byegad's example was told better than yours...

 

[Bill Gates]

There's a huge difference between the atmosphere of a live Billy Connelly show, which will be definition be packed with people who find him funny (I do too, most of the time), and you sitting at the breakfast table or wherever...

I'm rubbish at jokes, something I'm happy to admit. Maybe you just are too? Perhaps your inflexion led her to believe there was a line still to come. Perhaps she just didn't get it. So why not just say "My wife doesn't get jokes!" instead of pulling out the tired old men/women divide? (and along the way, implying that men are therefore better than women).

Purely on the basis of typography, Byegad's example was told better than yours...

Ah, now we have the crux of it.

Actually I'm quite good at telling jokes. I had a standing ovation at my daughters wedding when I did my speech. I could tell you some of the jokes, but you might not get them.

 

[Ben M]

It's because women are all either blonde or maltesers.

 

[ChrisKH]

I'm showing my age now; what's a Malteser? Am I going to wish I hadn't asked?

 

[e-rider]

perhaps the man is a joke

 

[Shaun]

See if she gets this one:

The area which I grew up in was really tough. When I was a kid, people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and stick cherries on my head .... yep, life was very tough in the gateau!!

Cheers,
Shaun

 

[Speicher]

I'm showing my age now; what's a Malteser? Am I going to wish I hadn't asked?

Let me guess - brunette on the outside but still blonde on the inside?

 

[Arch]

I'm showing my age now; what's a Malteser? Am I going to wish I hadn't asked?

No, I don't know that one either....

Probably means I am one...

 

[Arch]

Let me guess - brunette on the outside but still blonde on the inside?

Ah, I see.

Isn't it wonderful, men can just be thick, without it having to relate to their hair colour....

 

[hackbike 666]

Ah, I see.

Isn't it wonderful, men can just be thick, without it having to relate to their hair colour....

I didn't get it....

What hair colour?