I'm freezing cold..need a woman to warm me up...

[ufkacbln]

My favourite personal Ad (may be fictional...)

Minimalist seeks woman

Or two from another site:



Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box06/03

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

 

[postman]

What you need is an old boiler.No ladies not an insult.His central heating has broken down.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Ok...well to Help you in my search Catherine here is my definition of suitable:

1) Must be a nice person and trust worthy
2) Must be able to fix my gas boiler
3) preferably fit & good/cute looking (not glamorous though I hate that)
4) Must love riding bicycles and be up for touring
5) Must love heavy rock music and understand and totally accept the need for unlimited guitars in the house next to the bikes
6) Must be reasonably competent with a map
7) Must have a real hatred of cars
8) Would like the open road, sunset, beaches, wind in your hair type life
9) Must be willing to learn how to fully service and maintain a professional guitar amp and effects rack rig
10) be ok with kids and dogs etc but understand that they are not a replacement for a long haired hunky cyclist type

Hair colour is not important...large shoe and handbag collections are huge NO NO's ...as is smoking or any kind of drug use.

Right now it's looking like a fit female cyclist who works as a gas engineer would be about right!

So you see I am not all that fussy really..

 

[oxbob]

Here she is

 

[Dayvo]

Here she is

I had a pair of leggings like that; it REALLY annoyed me!

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

.....erm..eh up...can...t...she fix...t...gas boiler lad?

 

[oxbob]

Ermm, you never mentioned gas.She's an old fashioned coal fired boiler!!

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Parabolic rollers are what you need.

 

[oxbob]

BTW, i'll up the bid to a chicken noodle with crouton's!!!

 

[Mr Phoebus]

I'm freezing cold..need a woman to warm me up...

What if you have to lie in the damp patch, afterwards?

 

[Cathryn]

Ok...well to Help you in my search Catherine here is my definition of suitable:

1) Must be a nice person and trust worthy
2) Must be able to fix my gas boiler
3) preferably fit & good/cute looking (not glamorous though I hate that)
4) Must love riding bicycles and be up for touring
5) Must love heavy rock music and understand and totally accept the need for unlimited guitars in the house next to the bikes
6) Must be reasonably competent with a map
7) Must have a real hatred of cars
8) Would like the open road, sunset, beaches, wind in your hair type life
9) Must be willing to learn how to fully service and maintain a professional guitar amp and effects rack rig
10) be ok with kids and dogs etc but understand that they are not a replacement for a long haired hunky cyclist type

Hair colour is not important...large shoe and handbag collections are huge NO NO's ...as is smoking or any kind of drug use.

Right now it's looking like a fit female cyclist who works as a gas engineer would be about right!

So you see I am not all that fussy really..

Can you prioritise?

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Can you prioritise?

...yes.
4,1,3,8,5,9..the others are all negotiable....BTW i fixed the boiler myself just now so I am no longer interested in Gas fitters

 

[Crackle]

Is this gonna take as long as choosing your Bianchi?

 

[ComedyPilot]

I'm freezing cold..need a woman to warm me up...


You should have stayed on that beach in France...

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

Is this gonna take as long as choosing your Bianchi?

...depends on how well she fits.

You should have stayed on that beach in France...

...oh I'm sure it's raining there now as well