I have run out of expleatives...

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I am going to get the words..."Stop trying to Kill me!" printed on the back of all my shirts & Jackets.

 

[bof]

Call them "Sonny" when they're your age or older - really puzzles 'em.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

Get one of Padbeat's POLITE vests - and if you manage to locate him tell him I still want one too. They're crackin.

 

[Cab]

Catch up at the traffic lights, calmly say:

"You know your driving license? The one you got out of a Christmas cracker? Its not real you know."

Dunno tho suggested that, but it was over on the old C+ forum.

The other one is point at the guy, then raise your little finger and bend it like a little worm several times.

 

[wafflycat]

Blowing them a kiss when motorist gets all irate can work very well - they don't expect it and they can't cope.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

IIRC Domtyler keeps a saveloy down his bibs and whacks anyone who infringes his rules with it. Give that a try.

 

[mr_hippo]

I am not suggesting this but I knew someone who used to carry a squeezy bottle of hydraulic brake fluid!

 

[walker]

Catch up at the traffic lights, calmly say:

"You know your driving license? The one you got out of a Christmas cracker? Its not real you know."

Dunno tho suggested that, but it was over on the old C+ forum.

The other one is point at the guy, then raise your little finger and bend it like a little worm several times.

Might of been me Cab although I say Happy meal or corn flakes packet

 

[piedwagtail91]

a pair of rocket launchers on the top tube would ensure they didn't mess with you again, such a pity big brother is monitoring emails, hang on theres a knock at the door

 

[John Ponting]

'Shut it fatty' is all a cyclist needs BTFB

U2 could be returned?


although BTFB is working very hard to get rid of the F.

 

[Pete]

What about getting right up close, up against driver's window if it's open, making eye contact and saying nothing? Completely neutral facial expression. I've had this done to me and it can be really unsettling. The driver is sitting there expecting you to burst forth with a stream of expletives, after all he knows he's just behaved like a w***er, and then nothing comes.

OK, then, BTFB me lad, what's happened to set you off today?

 

[Arch]

Listening to Genius on R4 on Monday (great show!) They were inventing new swearwords, made up of syllables of current ones. I can't remember how it got made up now, but 'Crat-hole' was very popular. It sounds nice and offensive, but no one will quite know what it means... I may adopt it on a regular basis...

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I used to retaliate in some of the ways posted above.
These days I just ignore the abuse - let em get all steamed up but why should get aeriated? - it'll shorten my life.
If someone overtakes far too close I will wave my arm at them or indicate (if they ever do look in the mirror) that perhaps they should give me more room. That works a treat for the next 3 cars as they do then give me more space than normal
But no point in getting worked up - it won't change them.

One good retort I did hear tho was "Listen Mate I'm here by right, you're only here by license".

 

[Elmer Fudd]

Langer, = Irish for self-gratification artist.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Blowing them a kiss when motorist gets all irate can work very well - they don't expect it and they can't cope.

Waffly - you can blow me a kiss anytime