While I was waiting in a side room at A&E, I told my sister everything I knew about clotting, DVTs, Pulmonary Embolism, Vitamin K (the body uses it as part of the clotting mechanism) and so on. I told her that I had been supposed to get a thrombophilia screen done to see if I had a genetic mutation which makes clotting more likely, and how anticoagulant drugs interfere with that test so the blood sample needed to be taken before my treatment started ...
Anyway, the hours passed and I was getting tired. It had been a stressful day and I needed sleep. A nurse appeared with a syringe in a plastic tray and announced that he was going to inject an anticoagulant into my belly fat. Yeah, yeah, been there, had that done, felt really squeamish ... I looked away, he lifted my tee-shirt, wiped the skin with that alcohol stuff they use, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the syringe getting closer ...
Suddenly, my sister shouted "
STOP!!!!!!"
The nurse leapt back in fright and I jumped up so quickly that I almost ended up impaled on the syringe anyway!
"
You forgot to get your thrombophilia screen done!"
Oh, flipping heck, yes! We told the nurse and he wandered off to get a doctor to sign the test request.
I was going a bit loopy from fatigue and stress and started a very animated monologue in which I illustrated rather too realistically the kind of noises that I might have made if my condition had become critical. A sound of strangled gasping reverberated down the empty corridor. My sister was sitting by the open curtain to our side room and she saw a nurse sprinting full-speed along the corridor towards us ...
"
No, no, it's okay - it is only my moron brother playing the fool!"
The nurse glared at her and went back to her duties.
Sis turned to me and barked "
Don't - you - ever - do - that - again!!"
Oops!