Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

Tomorrow should be a normal day at work (pretty much half the workforce won't be in).

Husband: so, how many will call in sick tomorrow?
Me: well,bearing in mind there will probably only be about 15 in tomorrow...

 

[gbb]

Me...an involuntary...'what !!!!! '

We have been toying with a new electric cooker, ours has been sterling, a Cannon Kendal but it's looking a tiny bit tired now.
So this afternoon my wife is bored...
'Let's go to the Hotpoint factory outlet shop' I suggested

So we mosied down, it's only a couple miles away. We looked at a few, chatted with the very helpful staff and kinda liked an Induction cooker (our existing is ceramic)...retail is around £700, ticket price In the Hotpoint shop was iro £460...meh, i could live with that. Almost as we were leaving and deciding whether to get it after Xmas, the lady said...
'Mind, I think the inductions are still on a black friday deal, £299, it'll be the normal price, £460 after today'

Me, my head spun round...'what !!!!' ( which was a but rude but not intentionally)
'Yeah sorry, we took the stickers off yesterday but they're still on the computer at £299'
'We will take it now thanks...that's cheaper than your cheap cookers'


2 hours later, in the house, fitted, ready for Xmas dinner tomorrow. Daughter now has our Cannon, shes happy, the gaskets were going on hers.

Result.

 

[Profpointy]

A colleague of mine went to Iceland (the country, not the purveyor of prawn rings) with his wife, who was convinced they had seen the Northern Lights. But he suspected it was actually the lights of a distant petrol station.

I strongly recommend he keeps schtum about the petrol station, but does make an occasional mention of "the romantic evening we saw the Northern Lights"

 

[colly]

Playing a game where we had to give clues and identify the character, event or animal etc.

8 year old grandaughter was given a clue:

" in a while"

Grandaughter: ^ALLIGATOR"

 

[Rusty Nails]

"It's still bloody raining"

 

[gbb]

"It's still bloody raining"

In a similar vein, I looked out the kitchen window and uttered..
Oh Christ, it's raining again...

 

[Threevok]

Mrs V : "How many times have I told you, don't leave toys on the floor, where people can trip over them !!!"

Evan : "I don't know. It's not as if I was keeping count or anything"

Me - trying not to laugh and undermine her authority

Mrs V : "He's YOUR boy alright"

 

[Rusty Nails]

"It's still bloody raining"

It's still bloody raining!!

 

[Rezillo]

Not really dialog but this was at Felixstowe Lidls today.

I know they bring babies but salad items is a new one on me.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Got a letter from the Employment Agency telling me to contact an organisation I'd been interviewed with before. The interview went really well, but on that occasion they wanted someone for the residential section, and I'm not really experienced for that.

Now they need someone for the wood workshop, which is exactly my training, so I gave them a call:

(phone rings)

Team manager: Hello this is Next Town Rehabilitation Centre
Andy in Germany: Hi, this is Andy in Germany, I did a interview with you a few months back...
TM: Hi Andy, good to hear from you, this is S*******,
AinG: Hi S_________. Um... The Employment Agency sent a letter saying I should contact you.
TM: Yeah, they sent me one as well. Are you interested?
AinG: Very much so. How should I go forward, do you want my CV and everything?
TM: Oh, we don''t need to mess about with all that, I've got it all on file here. I just need an email saying you're interested and we'll take it from there...

Hmm... Maybe this could work out. And it's a traffic free 10k cycle commute as well...

 

[swee'pea99]

Got a letter from the Employment Agency telling me to contact an organisation I'd been interviewed with before. The interview went really well, but on that occasion they wanted someone for the residential section, but now they need someone for the wood workshop, which is exactly my training, so I gave them a call:

(phone rings)

Team manager: Hello this is Next Town Rehabilitation Centre
Andy in Germany: Hi, this is Andy in Germany, I did a interview with you a few months back...
TM: Hi Andy, good to hear from you, this is S*******,
AinG: Hi S_________. Um... The Employment Agency sent a letter saying I should contact you.
TM: Yeah, they sent me one as well. Are you interested?
AinG: Very much so. How should I go forward, do you want my CV and everything?
TM: Oh, we don''t need to mess about with all that, I've got it all on file here. I just need an email saying you're interested and we'll take it from there...

Hmm... Maybe this could work out. And it's a traffic free 10k cycle commute as well...

Excellent! Hope it all works out for you.

 

[postman]

Do you fancy a walk,said Mrs P.Yes it usually means a finish in a nice cafe.As i shoot upstairs to put my proper regatta walking trousers on i shouts back Roundhay Park ok.Changed i come back down.Get your haversack,why well we are going to Sainsbury's,oh not my idea of a walk.But i did get a latte.

 

[Vantage]

Me to Shannon's boyfriend...
"I've seen thicker legs on a chicken".
Shannon: "OMG DAD!"
Shannon's boyfriend: "Yeah but I'm growing vertical whereas you're growing horizontal".
😠

 

[perplexed]

In the supermarket today. A lady was shopping with her elderly mother

Lady: 'Mum, you're trying to eat less meat aren't you?'

Elderly mother: 'Yes'

Lady (goes to a shelf and points): 'Why don't you get into Quorn?'

Elderly mother: 'What's 'Interquorn?'

 

[Donger]

Knew the missus was going to have to get up soon to go into town to meet a friend. She had already turned off the alarm clock and was back in deep hibernation mode. She is not a morning person.

Me: "Alexa, play Def Leppard"
Wifey: "Nooooooo!" (Got her up though).

We agreed I wouldn't do that again.