Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

Not proud of myself. I am waiting at work for an important parcel, the system here is shockingly bad, the guys on intake are just so slapdash, so much stuff goes missing, if it does arrive they often don't tell you, if you ask their attitude is mediocre...failure of management, it' been going on a year and no-one has sorted something out. This has clouded my attitude a bit.
I'm asking Tadiusz (sp) if it' arrived, he hadn't seen it he replied, I continued with....
'When it arrives...can you......' and before I finished.....he just turned and walked off.


'Tadiusz ....i was talking to you' ' somewhat annoyed

He stopped dead, turned and listened...i finished my sentence.

Ferkin rude, then I let myself down by doing the same to a degree.

Ah well....

 

[gbb]

The headline in our local paper reads along the lines of...'Everyones favourite, Krispy Kreme donuts are coming to the city centre'
I turned to my wife...
'Well, I can' say I'm over excited, load of old cobblers. Have you ever tried them ?'
'Yes..i don't know what all the fuss is about, I prefer Tescos ones, they're much nicer'

 

[gbb]

A lorry loading bay door has self destructed and is stuck up. Once the lorry leaves there will be a trailer sized hole in the wall, obviously unsafe. Last time this happened we couldn't fix it and called the suppliers in.
The warehouse guys asked.
'Can we close the door ?'
'No, it might fall or do more damage, wait until we've had a look or more likely we have to call the engineers in again'
'What's going to happen when the lorry goes ?'
'You'll have to stick some pallets there to fill the hole'

I start to walk back to the workshop to make some enquiries....within 2 minutes I'm called back, there are now the compliance /QC team there as well, now a total of 5 people looking at a broken door, she says...
'We need to close this door '
'You can't yet it might not be safe'
'But there'll be a big gap'
'I know, put some pallets in front of it'
'How long will it take to get the people out to fix it'
'Maybe today if we're lucky, probably tomorrow'
'I'll have to get H&S here, we can't leave it like that, someone might fall out'
'She'll tell you the same as me...put some pallets in front of it'
'But all those boxes are in the way at the side of the door'
'So get them moved'
'Can we just not close the door'
'No it might be unsafe'
'Can we leave the lorry on the dock so there's no gap'
'I'd be happy to but I don't suppose the driver would be too happy to wait until tomorrow'
She started to interject once more....before she finished i looked at all 5 of them....
'Is no-one listening...Just put some pallets in front of the door...it's so simple, you're making a crisis out of a drama'

Flappers.

 

[ColinJ]

I went for a blood test today. As usual, I was asked for my date of birth ...

ColinJ: Is this a subtle way of checking to see if patients are developing dementia - i.e. can they remember their own d.o.b.?

Nurse: No, it's a subtle way of making sure that they have brought the right paperwork in! The machine scans a barcode on the form and if you bring the wrong form, the results would be linked to the wrong patient. We have had sisters accidentally bring in each other's forms and have their medication messed up until the error was noticed. They had the same Initial and Surname and lived at the same address ...

ColinJ: What about identical twins with the same initial and living at the same address?

Nurse: That could be a problem!

 

[gbb]

On my ride this evening, there seem to be a lot of relaxed peds around, folk seem in a world of their own which makes for some care and watchfulness from me.
I'm riding down a shared underpass, on the cycling side and i'm now approaching 3 ladies, each with pushchairs and 2 maybe 6 YO's running around...and they've filled all the path and cyclepath and are oblivious to me or anyone else. I back off, beginning to prepare myself to let them know i'm approaching from behind.
One of the ladies is straggling, senses me coming, turns round, looks surprised...and helpfully, excitedly but concernedly shouts something in possibly Romanian at her friends....who shriek with surprise at her shouting. Laughter erupts and chatter between them as they leapt aside...not that they needed to, i'd nearly stopped by that time.
'Sorry' one lady says.
'No problem, thank you ladies '
I ride past and as I disappear they're still laughing and gabbling.

Its all about mindset. Ive got vexed at that kind of situation in the past, its too easy to read it as ignorant (peds in general in a world of their own)
Relax, smile, they're just folk out enjoying a walk with the kids.

 

[gbb]

Yesterday I walked past the stairs to see my 22 month old granddaughter climbing under the stairgate in an attempt to get upstairs to her mum and dad. The gap is very small but she managed it....
'And what are you doing you little monkey'
To be met with...


'Downstairs....now
And out she thrust her arms to be picked up

 

[mustang1]

I over heard one guy say to another
"it gets longer every time I see you"
So I done what any mature adult would do and started laughing but I think both guys already knew that something awkward was said.

 

[MontyVeda]

"I'm not flirting in triangles... it's a two way thing or I'll find someone else to flirt with!"

 

[gbb]

As I came in from work, my wife greeted me as usual and then said...
'I've been talking to Eileen (My sister) and we've done something, I don't know what you'll think'
'Whassat then ?'
'We've gone halves and paid to have a name plaque for your dad on XH558 , I think it'll go on the wings, it's a fundraising thing they'e doing'

An instant lump grew in my throat....and I welled up like a baby.

He may have even worked on it when it was operational.
'Oh god, I wished I hadn't told you yet then, one day we're ll going to go and see it, have a day out'...she said.

'I'll probably cry like a baby when I see it...fantastic idea...brilliant'
Vulcans were almost entirely all dads RAF life...and therefore ours.

 

[Lullabelle]

A colleague Paul is openly gay, he was going on today about having to put his fan on because he was really hot

Me: it's your age love
Paul: do you think so? I am almost 50. Some men go a bit weird don't they, fast cars and dolly birds.
Me: let's be honest, you won't be going for any dolly birds will you?
Paul: well, you never know, strange things can happen
Me: true, just think, you might become straight ?
Paul: .
Me:

 

[gbb]

We'd seen a kiddies bouncy castle in Aldi last week, I saw my wife look and we agreed it'd be great for the toddler grandkids...its only 2 x 2 Mtrs so would fit our garden....but we moved on and the moment was gone.
Sunday morning , I'm just getting my cycling gear on for a ride before grandkids and their mum n dad arrive for dinner. My wife suddenly says....
'I wish I had that £70 on me, I'd get that bouncy castle'
'You still thinking about it ?'
'Yeah but I havnt got the cash'
'Ahhh c'mon, if you want it just say so and I'll go get it. Stop pussy footing around and say yes if you really want it'
'Shall we ?'
'I'll go get this cycling gear off, I'll have a ride this evening....be back soon'

They loved it.
Typical of my wife, asks something without actually asking

 

[Lullabelle]

My colleague: well, that is another day done

Me: another day closer to retirement, it may take another 20 years but I am getting there 1 day at a time.

My colleague: do you know what? Ithink you will retire before your time because you can afford it

Me: in my dreams....

 

[Saluki]

Suit came to our office today. We were all working away, most of us wearing headphones. Proper ones, not earbuds.
Suit: why are they wearing those
Chap with him: helps them concentrate in such a noisy office
Suit to me: ARE THEY NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES?
Me: No. it’s Pink Floyd
Suit:

 

[Threevok]

Boss : have the Carpenters finished yet ?

Me : They've only just begun......

 

[gbb]

A heater assembly off a machine has been reported as having one element of four not working. You have 2 wires passing to each element and a separate thermocouple. TBF the fault on the screen looks like it's thermocouple related...but I can see the heater wires themselves have been badly damaged. No problem, I will investigate it in the workshop.
Packhouse supervisor shortly after...before I've had chance to look at it.
'But which heater is it, the second on the right...ot on the left
I don't know...but i know which heater it's likely to be '
A long drawn out conversation followed about which it was likely to be and my answer each time was...
'We'll soon know when I get it stripped'
He tried again, waxing on about which it was likely to be...
My answer...again...
'I don't know but we will soon find out, the wire damage is probably the biggest hint
'Yebbut, it looks like a thermocouple problem'
'I know...but there's damage to the heater so lets' start there...maybe I'll find the thermocouple damaged as well...maybe I won t, let me strip it and see
'I don't think it' the heater...' he carried on....and on....and on

'That's it, I've had enough of this' ...and i got up and walked off.
'Colin, where are you going ?' he asked ?
'I can't spend all day theorising about which end it is or if it's the heater or thermocouple...or both... I'm off to actually look at it...then we'll know won't we ?'

That was condensed ...jesus,