Give me some dialogue from your day

[gbb]

We're struggling, wife had proper flu this last week and I've got this never ending cough and tiredness, we're both at a low ebb.
Wife says..
'Right, I'm off for a good long soak'
'I don't blame you, relax and enjoy it'
And I gave a couple seconds pause and added....
'But don't be too long doing it'

My wife cast a look back

 

[Lullabelle]

Materials manager: we have had a delivery from **** and as per usual the delivery note doesn't have a number just a date.. 19 February 2017

Me: typical

 

[gbb]

Wife to me as she's on hold while speaking to the holiday company...
'I've just booked window seats '
'What's the seating plan ?'
'3, 3 and 3'
'Nooooo, we want centre aisle seats'
'Why?, I always have a window seat' she asked.
'10 hour flight, you dont want to asking someone to move several times over every time you want to get up'...'centre aisle seats, you will have far more freedom to move'

The operator came back on...my wife immediately asked...
'Sorry, can I change those seats..'

 

[pplpilot]

We're struggling, wife had proper flu this last week and I've got this never ending cough and tiredness, we're both at a low ebb.
Wife says..
'Right, I'm off for a good long soak'
'I don't blame you, relax and enjoy it'
And I gave a couple seconds pause and added....
'But don't be too long doing it'

My wife cast a look back

Trust me, and I know, IF your good lady had 'proper' flu she wouldn't have the strength to crawl to the bath let alone get in it.

 

[gbb]

Trust me, and I know, IF your good lady had 'proper' flu she wouldn't have the strength to crawl to the bath let alone get in it.

Nah, the flu was a few days ago, she said at the time even all her teeth ached, down to the bones. As close to flu as you can be without a full diagnosis. 2 days off work and the weekend after she didn't go out the house, she still feels dog rough now.
I hate it at work, someone moans...I've got flu..

Bog off mate, the very fact you're stood here means you haven't got flu.

 

[PaulSecteur]

"My fingers smell funny" said the chap that sits near me, to no one in particular.

 

[Katherine]

[QUOTE 4646459, member: 45"]On our answerphone this evening, from my "in his seventies" dad:

"Ok Google........... OK Google.......................... OK Google.............. OK Google........... "[/QUOTE]
Aw, bless.

 

[gbb]

At my 86 YO mums, her answerphone isn't working, my wife is setting it up, she's sat next to mums base unit with her mobile and while talking, the base unit is whistling and whoo'ing.
'What's wrong with it'..uttered my wife
'You're probably sat too close with your mobile' I replied.
'No its not that '.....said my wife.

It's whoo'ing and whistling away, she stretches her arm out so the mobile is further away....and the interference stops.

...'I told her mum, but she doesn't listen ' I said in mock derision.
...'Shut it you'
Mum...

 

[Scoosh]

Last week, in shoe shop.

Customer (man) to assistant: I brought a pair of sandals in last week, as there was a manufacturing fault in them.
Asst: Ok, I'll go and check

Manager comes out: How long have you had them?
C: Not too sure, a few years
M: Well, you don't have any receipt but we know that they are 17 years old.
C: Oh, really that old? ... so how much are you going to give me back for the defect?
M: Given their age, we are unable to offer you any refund.
C: But it was a manufacturing defect!
M: Here is the number of the Customer Services at Head Office. You can call them, if you wish.
C: Yes, right, thank you …

Me: (thinks) What a tosser/ chancer ! I hope you get short shrift from Head Office … 17 year old sandals !!

 

[TVC]

At Currys today trying to buy a laptop, I identified the one I wanted and attracted the attention of a loitering assistant:

Me: Hi, I would like one of these please.
Assistant #1: Certainly, what colour would you like?
Me: Silver or white, which ever you have.

Assistant #1 walks off and chats to his colleague, they both walk back to me.

Assistant #2: Someone will be with you in a couple of minutes.

Assistant #1 stands next to me, silent, no communication for the next while until someone else turns up.

Assistant #3: Hello Sir, how can I help.
Me: I'd like one of these please
Assistant #: What colour would you like?
Me: White or silver, what ever you have got.

Assustant #3 wanders off and starts typing at a terminal before returning

Assistant #3: We have it in red
Me: That will be fine
Assistant #3: I will go and get it for you.

Five minutes later he returns bearing a box.

Assistant #3: The only ones we have are in Teal, so I brought one down, is that OK?
Me: <shrugs> Fine.
Assistant #3: We need to go to the tills, I will put it behind the desk, if you would like to join the queue.
Me: Fair enough.

I stand in the queue and eventually reach the counter, I point at the box

Me: Thats my laptop.

Assistant #4 retrieves the box and looks at it quizically.

Assistant #4: I can't sell laptops
Me UH?????

He slopes off and talks to Assistsnt #5 before returning and scanning the box through the till.

Me: Are you not going to try to sell me an extended warrenty
Assistant #4: Um?

 

[stargazer]

Bike Channel - Tour Down Under - 90 Km to go:

Phil Liggett: We've had three days of non-events at the sprint points because the small bonuses and points on offer have not really helped the riders in the breakaway. It's all very, very technical.

Unidentified background voice in the commentary box: I've said that you daft tosser!

 

[ColinJ]

(There have been several road closures in this part of town recently but I could not see anybody digging up the roads. I have been trying to work out what has been going on. I walked the long way to the shops today and saw a young worker feeding a long length of narrow gauge plastic pipe down into a drain in the centre of the road. Aha ... I worked it out!)

ColinJ: Excuse me - are you going to be putting fibre optics down those pipes?

Worker: Yeah mate - it is for the local fibre broadband network. It has been a b*st*rd job getting the pipes down the drains, but we are getting there now!

ColinJ: Hooray - cheers!

Most of the time my current 15 Mb/s link is adequate but I did a 10 GB download a couple of weeks ago and that took a painfully long time so having more than double that speed will be handy. More significantly, uploads on fibre broadband will be much quicker.

 

[jhawk]

Visiting a friend. Her son is playing nearby in the living room. All of a sudden...

*Son burps*

"Ex-squeeze me, ex-squeeze me!"

It's the cutest little thing and I can't even words. And I hate children.

 

[ufkacbln]

I have had a sh!t couple of weeks

I had booked a holiday in Iceland that was cancelled, so booked a week in Norway which was also cancelled

So booked another company that despite promises could not fulfil the dates

So went independent and booked 5 days in Longyearbyen

Had a phone call this evening as the Hotel I am staying at has closed so again could not fill the hotel I had booked!

So could I accept a suite at the Radisson Blu (Polar) instead of my single room....

I could be forced, now awaiting confirmation...


What I am looking forward to most is (weather permitting) is the most northerly bike ride in the world!!!!!!

 

[Profpointy]

Sort of in reply to the laptop purchase post I recall buying something in Richer sounds a couple of years back and the chap started to talk about an extended warranty and I may have accidentally snorted out loud despite intending to politely decline. Fair play to him he just said "I don't blame you mate" and generally they only do a token effort in selling warranties. He also helped me carry the TV back to my flat a couple of hundred yards up the road. Good service I thought