Give me some dialogue from your day

[yello]

I'm going to buy three. Do we need three? Is three enough?

 

[gbb]

My presence is requested at a packing line checkweigher, I arrive to find several QCs and 2 managers manually weighing punnets of grapes on some scales then passing them over the checkweigher (a high speed conveyor/ weigher that's very accurate)...and there's a variance in the two weights.
'Look, the scales say 539g...checkweigher says 545g, sometimes more'
They're doing this over and over with different punnets....so I say...
'How do you know the scales are right ?'
...was the response....
I continued...'put a punnet on a different set of scales then checkweigh it'
They did....it weighed different from the first set of scales...and the same as the checkweigher.

Job done, solved. Not rocket science is it ?

Back home, we're having tea, a chicken salad with relatives. The dog (Labrador) is sitting, watching every mouthful being eaten .
Father in law relents and passes him some chicken that's left over...dog devours it then stands even closer...even more attentive, almost pleading....
I shoo him away...saying
'Look at that...a proud dog my ass...he'd sell his soul for another bit of chicken, no pride whatsoever '

 

[gavgav]

Colleague receives phone call from a Team Leader:-

"can you give me the name of the person who has made these errors in my team, I have been onto them for weeks about this and it's not good enough"

Colleague :- "Certainly, it's yourself!!"

Team Leader :- "oh"

 

[Katherine]

A precocious 8 year old and her parents had joined us and our friends last night at the pub. We were trying a new beer and she wanted a taste but was warned that she wouldn't like it and that she was too young.

Child : Oh, it's alright, I have wine every week at church.

She still wasn't allowed any and made a face at our laughter.

 

[stephec]

My wife's sorting through a pile of papers and asking me if I want each one as she goes along.

She finds a sealed pack of phone screen savers and holds them up, "screen savers, have you used these?"

 

[stephec]

My presence is requested at a packing line checkweigher, I arrive to find several QCs and 2 managers manually weighing punnets of grapes on some scales then passing them over the checkweigher (a high speed conveyor/ weigher that's very accurate)...and there's a variance in the two weights.
'Look, the scales say 539g...checkweigher says 545g, sometimes more'
They're doing this over and over with different punnets....so I say...
'How do you know the scales are right ?'
...was the response....
I continued...'put a punnet on a different set of scales then checkweigh it'
They did....it weighed different from the first set of scales...and the same as the checkweigher.
'

You should have a calibrated set of test weights for situations like that.

 

[gbb]

You should have a calibrated set of test weights for situations like that.

They do...the QC dept.
They were using it doing a static and dynamic calibration on the checkweigher but got distracted by the erroneous scales. Its amazing how easily people are unable to see beyond what APPEARS to be staring them in the face.

 

[stephec]

They do...the QC dept.
They were using it doing a static and dynamic calibration but got distracted by the erroneous scales. Its amazing how easily people are unable to see beyond what APPEARS to be staring them in the face.

What make of weigher is it?

 

[gbb]

OCS, German. Moderately old now. One infeed belt, one weighing belt, one outfeed belt. One of the first things you check Is that the belts arent touching each other, that would immediately upset the weighcell.
The irony is we have loads of older, low tech scales...and they believed the weights they displayed...not the accurate checkweigher.
The other irony is, I can see how the QC workers could be confused, they are not highly skilled, just know quality issues with the fruit...but the managers, I'd have expected them to be a bit more on the ball.

 

[gbb]

OCS, German. Moderately old now. One infeed belt, one weighing belt, one outfeed belt. One of the first things you check Is that the belts arent touching each other, that would immediately upset the weighcell.
The irony is we have loads of older, low tech scales...and they believed the weights they displayed...not the accurate checkweigher.
The other irony is, I can see how the QC workers could be confused, they are not highly skilled, just know quality issues with the fruit...but the managers, I'd have expected them to be a bit more on the ball.

Says me, Mr perfect

 

[stephec]

OCS, German. Moderately old now. One infeed belt, one weighing belt, one outfeed belt. One of the first things you check Is that the belts arent touching each other, that would immediately upset the weighcell.
The irony is we have loads of older, low tech scales...and they believed the weights they displayed...not the accurate checkweigher.
The other irony is, I can see how the QC workers could be confused, they are not highly skilled, just know quality issues with the fruit...but the managers, I'd have expected them to be a bit more on the ball.

One of our guys used to work for OCS, he liked their equipment.

Garvens check weighers are more my speciality.

 

[gbb]

At the travel agents, getting some euros.
One girl behind the counter asks..'where you going ?'
'Cape Verde, not until July though'
'Oooh, she went there' nodding to the girl behind the next window'
'Ooh, it was fantastic' she replied.

We got outside, the wife said to me...(bearing in mind this is a different kind of holiday for us, its going to be a complete chill out holiday, I don't think theres much there...and we're a tad uncertain about how it'll go'
'Thats nice to know, she thought it was fantastic'
'Errr, she works for the company thats sold us a holiday...not exactly gonna tell you it was crap is she ?'
'Oh...yeah, i suppose'
'But im sure itll be fine'

 

[ColinJ]

I placed my goodies down on the counter in front of the till ...

Woman serving me: "One large Cappuccino ..."

Woman serving me: "One Millionaire's Tart ..."

[Pause, a sigh, and then in a loud theatrical stage whisper ...]

Woman serving me: "Ooh, I wish I were a millionaire's tart!"

ColinJ (snorting): "Ha ha ha, oh flipping heck, chance would be a fine thing, eh!"

[General hilarity in the cafe ...]

 

[pplpilot]

Me : handing mom my ipad, here you are they have them on Amazon, £15 cheaper than the one in the shop...
Mom : Oh brill, could you order me one and ill give you the money?
Me : Just get dad to order it...
Mom : But your Dad hasn't got an iThingy,
Me : I know but he has a computer.
Mom : oh ok, will he have 'The Amazon' on his internet as well then?

 

[ColinJ]

Me : handing mom my ipad, here you are they have them on Amazon, £15 cheaper than the one in the shop...
Mom : Oh brill, could you order me one and ill give you the money?
Me : Just get dad to order it...
Mom : But your Dad hasn't got an iThingy,
Me : I know but he has a computer.
Mom : oh ok, will he have 'The Amazon' on his internet as well then?

My sister was given a Kindle one Christmas and I set it up for her so she could buy books. She chose a Nigella cookery book and clicked on 'Buy'. She then put the Kindle to one side and started doing something else.

Eventually I asked whether she was actually interested in the book she had just bought. She replied that she was and was looking forward to reading it when the postman delivered it after the Christmas break ... I don't think she fully grasped the eBook concept!